By Chance
by BrilliantDarkness
Summary: We search and search for the things we want and need the most but sometimes they come to us quite by chance.
1. Chapter 1

Cody made his way through Tompkins' store perusing a display of knives when the elbow connected with his midsection. He grunted loudly and then looked around for his assailant only to find a horrified looking young woman. She was his age or maybe a year or so younger and was dressed so drab he probably would have looked past her before.

"I am so sorry," she kept repeating over and over and then finally ended with, "I'm so clumsy. Are you hurt?"

Now it was not in Cody's nature to be cross with a woman, especially one that he's just met and he already was pasting a smile on his face when his eyes met hers. There was nothing remarkable about this woman really. She wore a faded grey dress with no adornments and really no shape to it at all and her dull, brown hair was back in a simple bun that belied her youth and the pieces escaping here and there spoke, along with her wan complexion of fatigue from long days of hard work. Nothing was remarkable at all until he met those eyes. They were the color of a summer wheat field.

"No need to apologize, Miss," Cody said tipping his hat to her, "I'm quite sure the fault was mine."

He flashed his warmest smile and was disheartened when those lovely clear green eyes dropped from his. He needed to see those eyes again, he could only imagine how they might sparkle or dance if he could bring a smile to their owner. Boldly he took her hand in his.

"William F. Cody," he said bringing her hand to his lips, "Billy to my friends. Might I know the name of the angel who has just crossed my path?"

"Heather," was the barely audible response, "Heather Hastings. I really am sorry, Mr. Cody. I need to be going."

And just that fast, she was out the door. Cody could do nothing but stare after her. He shook his head trying to clear it. When he thought clearly, there was nothing special about that young lady. She wasn't ugly but she wasn't all that pretty either. He had no idea of her figure as her dress was about as shape revealing as a potato sack and everything about her was as if she had been painted in watercolors in the middle of an oil painting, everything except those captivating eyes. They weren't a color that was other worldly. He had seen eyes near to that color before but there was something about them that spoke of a history beyond his comprehension and a future beyond what he could fathom. He had to see them, to see her, again.

By the time he got out onto the street she was nowhere to be seen. If it weren't for his stomach that was still hurting from where she'd run into him he would have been able to convince himself he'd made her up. But she had been real. She had run right into him and for a moment his eyes met hers and the things he saw there made him feel like he needed to take action even though he had no earthly idea what that action would be.

The following days were like a fog for Cody. He just felt like he was going through the motions. He did his chores, ate his meals and went on a run. But his heart was still in that one moment in Tompkins' store when his eyes met Heather's. The others were starting to become suspicious of his behavior. It was Lou who approached him first.

"Cody," she said leaning on the outside of a stall he was cleaning out, "Something wrong?"

"No Lou, nothing's wrong," he replied and went right back to work.

"You just ain't acting yourself lately and you got us to worrying is all," she said, "You know if something was wrong you could talk to me or one of the guys about it. I know we tease you but we'd be here if you had a problem or something."

Cody was about to grunt that he didn't need the help but then he thought maybe he could use someone to talk to and Lou was sort of a girl anyway.

"Maybe there is something you could help me with," he said, "Or at least it might feel good to talk to someone about it."

He then told her of bumping into Heather in Tompkins' store and how he'd been able to think of little else since.

Lou wasn't quite sure she heard him correctly. He wasn't talking about some society lady in finery or with a corset and a dozen petticoats. This was a simple girl in a faded work dress. Now she was even more certain that there was something wrong with Cody but then again, perhaps he was just gaining some maturity and understanding there was more to life than just a pretty face and a pile of money behind it.

"Hastings?" Lou asked, "I never heard of no families named Hastings around here. Maybe Teaspoon knows how to find her. You'd probably feel better if you could talk to her at least."

Cody was just finishing his work and turned to Lou with that big dopey smile of his.

"Thanks Lou, I think I'll do just that."

A while later Cody was standing outside the marshal's office looking in the door at Teaspoon who had his feet propped on the desk and looked to be asleep. Cody knew he probably wasn't and headed in. Soon he found himself explaining the girl with the summer wheat eyes.

* * *

><p>If Cody was distracted by the lovely eyed girl in the store then Heather was nearly frozen with all that she had felt on looking into those clear blue eyes. Those eyes had twinkled at her and his voice had been like velvet rolling toward her in waves. She had been a fool to even set foot in the store or in the town proper at that. She had only been coming in to collect the children from school and on a whim had walked into the store. It had been years since she had been in such a place and for a moment it had seemed like the most natural thing in the world to be there. Until she had clumsily run into that handsome man. Of course she had. Heather had no business with civilized folk. She ought to know that, she heard it often enough and now she had her proof that it was true.<p>

Still she smiled thinking how it felt when he had kissed her hand. She felt warm and shivery all at once. At night, once all the children were asleep, she climbed into her own bed and thought on him. She thought about his smiling eyes and his lopsided grin and his smooth, soft voice. Inevitably her hand would snake between her legs where she could feel the heat and the wetness gather. She knew ladies did not do such things but then it had been made clear to her many times over that she was no lady and if that was out of reach then she might as well feel good. And it did feel good. It felt especially good when she would think that maybe this Mr. Cody would someday touch her like this and possibly even kiss her while he did it. Yes, that was the thought of a wanton woman, a woman who would come to no good but she was already there—no good—wasn't she? Nothing could really make that worse. It's not as if a good man like him would ever look at her again. He wouldn't have looked at her the once if she hadn't been so clumsy.

* * *

><p>"That's what she said her name was, Teaspoon," Cody insisted, "How can you not know any Hastings families?"<p>

"I don't know what I can tell you besides the truth, Cody. I don't know a family around these parts by that name."

Cody looked helplessly at Teaspoon and the older man felt for his charge. He'd been captivated so by a woman before, her eyes or her lips or her hair. And there was something Cody wasn't telling but Teaspoon thought the young man might have seen something in those eyes beyond just an intriguing color. Then something occurred to him.

"You said her name was Heather?"

"Yes, Heather Hastings," Cody said looking exasperated.

"The Lepley's have a girl living with them, well, with him and the kids," Teaspoon mused, "Wife passed on must be close to two years ago, I reckon. Seems that girl's name is Heather. I haven't seen her since before Etheline passed but I suppose she would have grown into a young lady by now."

"She just lives there?" Cody asked.

"I think she's their niece or cousin or something like that," Teaspoon explained, "Seems she takes care of all the little ones."

Cody nodded at that. There were a lot of little ones around the Lepley place. Well now he knew where to find her. Cody gave a small wave to Teaspoon as he set out toward the school. If she was in charge of all of the Lepley children then perhaps she came to collect them from school although she looked barely old enough to be out of school herself.

As he approached the schoolhouse he could see her leaning against a tree wearing the same faded and shapeless dress as she had a few days earlier.

"Good afternoon, Miss Hastings," he said as he drew nearer to her. He saw her jump and then look around those fascinating eyes quickly dropping toward the ground when she saw him.

"Hello Mr. Cody," she said meekly and then looked as though she might speak further but then opted not to.

"I'm sorry we didn't get more time to get to know one another the other day," he told her trying and failing to convince her to raise her eyes to his, "Maybe now is a better time."

Heather wanted nothing more than to spend time with this man, to get to know him but she knew better.

"It's almost time for the children to be let out for the day, Mr. Cody."

"I told you before," he said flashing the sweetest smile he had to offer, "My friends call me Billy."

"I need to see to the kids, B-Billy."

It felt good to call him that and even better that he somehow wanted them to be friends but she really couldn't allow it. Heather didn't know what game he was playing at but she knew for certain that smile wasn't really for her. I couldn't be. She moved to where the Lepley children were assembling but Billy caught her arm.

"Maybe tomorrow we could talk a little more," he said smiling and then released her. It disturbed him how bony her arm had been through the sleeve of her worn work dress. Then he went inside to find Rachel.

Cody was disappointed to learn that Rachel had no information on Heather either. She only knew the girl was there every morning dropping the Lepley children off and there every afternoon to collect them. Until Cody had told her, she didn't even know the girl's name as the children only ever called her the girl.

"I wish I could be of more help," Rachel said when Cody had finished grilling her on everything she might know about Heather.

"I guess I'll just have to get the chores done early so I can be here when she comes for the children," he resolved, "Maybe I can get her talking."

"You know there's a dance coming up soon," Rachel noted, "Get to know her a little better and she might just agree to go with you."

The next day Cody got to the schoolhouse extra early hoping that Heather would be there too. Rachel had said that sometimes the girl would show up early and thought it was perhaps her only relaxing time for the day. He didn't have to wait more than five minutes before she came strolling up and sat down in the shade of an apple tree. Cody sauntered over.

"Good afternoon to you again, Miss Hastings," he said tipping his hat, "Looks like you've found the most promising spot of shade in the whole schoolyard."

"Hello Billy," Heather whispered looking at her feet and then in a moment of boldness she'd never quite be able to explain she added, "You could call me Heather if you like."

Cody's smile grew wider, "It so happens I do like. I like that an awful lot, Heather."

He thought maybe he saw a blush creep to her cheeks and maybe was making some progress.

"So Heather," he began, "Tell me about yourself."

"Nothing to tell," she replied, "I take care of the kids, I cook and I clean. That's all."

Heather waited for him to bore of her and leave. She almost willed it to be. His very proximity to her made her feel warm all over and brought a tingling to her.

"There must be something more," Cody prodded gently, "Those are things you do but aren't there things you wish? You must dream of something when you close those beautiful eyes at night."

Heather fought to keep her blush under control. It would simply not do to admit what she thought about when she closed her eyes, what she did to herself. As for dreams or wishes, she had few and the largest among them were things she could not say out loud. But he was still looking at her with those pale blue eyes and that warm smile.

"When I was a little girl my mother took me once on a picnic," she said and could not figure for the life of her why this memory came to her right now, "It was lovely. There was a pond and after we ate I went in swimming and next to the pond was a meadow of wildflowers. My mother made them into a circle and said it was my crown because a princess needs a crown. It was the most wonderful day. I would like a day like that again."

There was no charming or witty comeback for Cody at this story. His heart broke in his chest at the thought that she had possibly lived a life so devoid of joy that one afternoon that others might take for granted would be all she could dream of.

"Maybe," he choked out, "Maybe sometime we could go on a picnic. I know a place kind of like that."

Heather blinked a few times to collect herself.

"I don't think that would be a very good idea Billy," she said flatly, "I am sure Uncle Martin would never allow it."

"I wouldn't ask without a chaperone," Cody pleaded.

"It's not that," Heather told him nearly snorting with laughter that anyone would think a girl like her would need a chaperone, "I just can't get away like that. I have responsibilities."

"Responsibilities?" Cody asked, "You can't be more than what, sixteen or maybe seventeen? Those ain't your kids."

"I'm fifteen," she said softly, "And the kids are my job to care for. I need to go now."

The bell was ringing and children were running every which way. The Lepley children gathered around her with the boys and older ones running ahead a little ways but there was one, a little girl of no more than eight who hung back with Heather and even offered a brief hug to the young lady.

"Now I would've thought there wasn't a woman alive that wasn't your type, Cody," Jimmy's voice came from somewhere behind him, "Until I saw her. Nothing against her but she don't seem the kind you usually take after."

"You wouldn't understand, Jimmy," Cody said angrily pushing past his friend.

"I might if you tried explaining."

"I doubt it because I don't understand it either," Cody told Jimmy defeated, "I don't really know what it is about her but something is pulling me to her. And she does have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen."

"That can be enough sometimes, Cody," Jimmy said smiling, "Watch it though. I've been sucked in by a pair of pretty eyes before myself and it don't always turn out like you hope."

* * *

><p><strong>I know this is short and the rating might seem high now but if there's interest in this story, then I know where it's going and I'd rather rate it correctly now than have to change it later. So please let me know what you think...good or bad...and I'll know if I ought to continue.-J<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

"There's still a piece of pie left, Cody," Rachel said trying to entice him but the young man only grunted. Rachel knew this had to do with the Hastings girl and, while none of them could quite make sense of the attraction, it was real all the same and he was miserable. So she turned to the others with the remaining slice. "Anyone else want the last piece? Jimmy?"

"Nah," Jimmy said waving her off, "Cody might get hungry later. Best to save it for him."

That only confirmed for Rachel that Jimmy knew. She suspected that Lou did as well and the way the others were backing off of the offered dessert, they must at least have an inkling as well. Cody fell in love almost weekly but none of them had ever seen him in a state quite like this. Perhaps she would just have to force something here in order to set things to right. To be honest, Rachel had watched the young woman as she came to pick up the Lepley children and had wondered about her circumstances. Something just seemed off and if Cody was setting his cap for the young lady then Rachel felt she needed to get some information. After supper she was carrying some things up to the house when she found Cody sitting on the bunkhouse porch.

"I was wondering where you got to," she said trying to sound more cheerful than worried but she was worried all the same.

"Sorry Rachel," he said softly, "Did you need me to help with something?"

"Now that you mention it," she replied offering part of the load in her arms to him, "I could use a hand and then maybe we could sit a while."

"I'll help but I don't feel much like talking," he told her.

"I didn't say talk," she clarified, "I said sit although I think you might need to talk more than you think you do."

Cody dutifully headed toward the house and helped Rachel put things away in the kitchen before following her outside and onto the porch. They sat together on the swing for a while before Rachel spoke.

"I have to ask you something Cody and I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

He looked up at her with eyes like a puppy caught in the rain. She still had to ask this.

"You've been mooning over this Heather Hastings girl for close to a week now, Cody," she began, "I know you told me about her eyes and I know there's more to you than most people see. Still I've never known you to take up after someone quite like her. You usually are attracted more to girls who flaunt their femininity. I've no idea what she'd look like if she was all gussied up but the fact is that the way she goes around, she's downright plain. I know that's not all there is to a person and I know you know that too but I just have to ask this. Why her? Why is she so special to you?"

"I can't explain it Rachel," he said, "I know I talk about her eyes and how they're kind of unusual but that ain't all it. It's what's in 'em. Like she's carrying the hurt of a thousand people or something and like I could help her."

Rachel placed her hand over his and patted it gently thinking her words thoroughly.

"Cody, honey," she started, "I don't know any more about her than you do but I can see when someone's carrying a heavy load and the one she's hauling around could bring a world of trouble with it. I want to know this isn't some heroic quest you're on or that you aren't just intrigued by a woman who isn't swayed by your charms."

"I do want to help her and I want to be her hero," he admitted, "I like being a hero but I think I'd like being hers best of all. And it does sort of bother me that she doesn't seem affected by me at all. Most girls are, you know. But it's something more than that. Like the first day I met her when our eyes met, I saw things. I saw things I can't explain. I saw a future and I saw a past and I saw, oh hell, I don't even know what all I saw but I need to do this. It's as if it's what I was meant to do. I always knew I had a great destiny. My mama always told me I did too. Maybe Heather's part of it."

"Maybe she is at that," Rachel said with some hesitation, "I just don't want to see you get yourself hurt."

But then Rachel sighed and remembered what it felt like to be so young and feel that great things were still within your grasp and she got half a thought he might even fancy himself in love with this Heather. Rachel knew what young and in love felt like too.

"I'll help any way I can," she offered.

"Then I do have a favor to ask of you," he said.

* * *

><p>The next day Cody sat in the shade of the apple tree in the schoolyard alternating between the project in his hands and watching for Heather to come walking toward the school. He was exceptionally early and in fact had been there since the children had all gone back in the building after lunch. He wanted to be there whenever Heather came. He did not want to miss a moment he might be able to spend learning more about her. In time, nearly an hour before it was necessary for picking up the children, Heather arrived.<p>

"Is it alright if I sit here, Billy?" she asked nodding to the piece of shaded grass next to him.

"I've sort of been saving it just for you," Cody answered.

She sat but did not look at him.

"I have something for you," he said, "Nothing fancy but a little present."

"You really shouldn't have gone to the trouble," Heather answered studying what might have once been a pattern in the faded fabric of her dress.

"It wasn't any trouble," Cody said, "I wanted to do this. Please look."

She slowly raised her eyes to his hands where he held out a wreath made of wildflowers that Rachel had taught him to weave together.

"Your mama was right," he told her, "A princess should have a crown. May I?"

He gestured toward her head which she dipped to allow him to place the wreath upon it.

"Beautiful," he said and hoped for a smile from her but all he got was a face twisting into tears. "Heather, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I mean, I thought this would make you happy. I just wanted to see you smile."

"It's so pretty, Billy," she said when she could catch her breath, "Thank you. It's just that I don't deserve such things and you must have spent a good deal of your time making something so pretty for someone like me."

"I don't understand that when you say someone like you," he said desperately, "What are you like that you don't deserve pretty things like other girls do?"

"I just don't," she said flatly, "I wasn't born to such things. I came from garbage and the best I can hope for is what I have."

"Those sound like someone else's words," he said growing angry at whoever would say such things to anyone but especially to the frail creature beneath the apple tree with him.

"Just because someone else said them, doesn't make them false."

"The fact that they're false makes them false," he told her, "Everyone has dreams and everyone deserves them. And every girl deserves to feel pretty and to have pretty things."

"I don't."

"I think you do," he told her earnestly, "In fact, I wanted to ask you something. There's a dance coming up soon and I don't think anything could make me prouder than being your escort."

"Billy I really couldn't," she said, "There must be a dozen beautiful girls you could take. One of them should be on your arm."

"But I don't care to escort them," he told her, "I want to escort you. Think of it Heather. You could brush your hair loose from that bun and let it hang all around your shoulders and wear a dress that's not for cooking and cleaning in. Maybe a nice green or a golden color to set off your lovely eyes. I would drive up and help you onto the buckboard and I'd be the envy of every man there to have such a graceful and pretty lady arriving with me. I could get you a glass of punch and a sweet something to eat while the band is warming up and then we would dance until we were exhausted. Well, then the band would play a slow song so I could hold you close to me. Your cheek would rest against my neck and I would twirl you slowly around the floor. You'd feel as if you were floating on a cloud. I am a pretty good dancer, you know. Then I would help you into the buckboard so that I could drive you home while we watch the stars twinkle in the night sky. Perhaps you'd even be getting a little drowsy and you might rest your head against my shoulder as we drove and talked soft. Once I got you home you might even allow me a kiss goodnight. I'd understand if you didn't though. You hardly know me and I haven't declared my intentions. But if you did I promise I wouldn't try to take advantage of your kindness. I would just press my lips to yours for a moment but in that moment we could find the meaning for our whole lives. If you said no to that kiss I would just have to make do with being allowed to kiss your dainty hand before bidding you goodnight. Can't you just see it, Heather?"

She could in fact see it and nothing was quite so sweet or enticing to her but it just couldn't be. There was no way she could do any of that, not now, not ever.

"It just can't happen," she said.

"I don't understand that," he said, "Is it your age? Or mine? I know you're only fifteen and I have a couple of years on you."

"I'm almost sixteen and this has nothing to do with age. I just cannot go to the dance, not with you and not with anyone."

With that she took the wreath of flowers from her head and looked toward the door of the school. It was almost time for the children to be dismissed. It had been almost fun to play princess for a while and think that she might be able to be pretty but it was time to go back to real life and real life did not involve wild flower crowns or floating across dance floors or gazing at stars. Real life was scrubbing floors and doing the laundry and cooking enough to feed a family of eight. That was real life and she needed to stop trying to forget it. She needed to stop talking to Billy who seemed to want her to forget it.

"I'll talk to your uncle if you need his permission," Cody said willing to try anything, "I should anyway."

"No," she said a little too loud and a little too quickly, "No, you can't talk to him about this. You can't talk to him at all. Please. This can't happen and we both need to accept that."

"Then you want this too," Cody said grasping to her words for hope.

"What I want doesn't matter. I have to see to the children now. Goodbye Billy."

With that she was swallowed by the horde of children exiting the school. He was mystified how she could slip in and out of his life like she could and further perplexed at how empty he felt when she was away from him.

"Any progress?" Rachel asked causing him to jump.

"None," he replied sadly.

"We may just have to up your game a little bit then," she said placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it. Rachel wasn't entirely sure of what all was happening with this particular one of her boys but she was going to stand by him through whatever happened and fight for his happiness because that was what she had to do. She knew she wasn't their mama. They had begrudgingly allowed Emma that job in their life and they weren't about to let another woman in like that but she couldn't help but love them and feel the need to stand by them. Her style might be different but her love was just as fierce. So she set herself to thinking. There had to be a way to get through to this girl and get her to see what a terrific young man her Cody was.

That night Cody could think of nothing else but the sadness in Heather's eyes. A girl who felt unworthy of pretty things, a girl who would not accompany him to the dance, a girl who looked as though sadness was all she'd ever known; he could not stand to think of it. Sure his own life had its share of tragedy and he had known sadness but he had also known great joy. So had the young men and woman around him. They might be orphans and they might know loss like the trails they rode but they also knew laughter and joy and love. To see someone who knew none of these things was more than Cody could handle. He made it through supper and helped Rachel with anything she needed help with and waited. He went to bed and lay awake until he heard the telltale signs of slumber having overtaken every resident of the bunkhouse. Each had their own snore or breathing when asleep and he was certain they were all asleep before he slipped quietly out of bed and pulled his britches on. He grabbed a shirt and slipped it over his arms as he stepped into his boots, bending over to pull them up. Last he grabbed his coat. The days had been warm but the nights still carried a chill.

Cody was halfway through saddling his horse when he heard footsteps approaching. His hand hovered over the pistol on his hip until the owner of the footsteps spoke.

"You running away from home, Cody?" Jimmy asked sounding groggy but concerned.

"I couldn't sleep," Cody answered, "I thought a ride might clear my head."

"Riding anyplace in particular?" Jimmy inquired further as if he had an idea of exactly where Cody was headed.

"Probably," was Cody's reply confirming that Jimmy was right.

"Alright then. If you're not back for breakfast, I'll know what direction to send the search party in."

Cody snorted a half laugh as he finished readying his horse for the ride.

"I'll be back before breakfast," he said and then tried for a lighter tone, "I heard Rachel say something about hotcakes in the morning."

Jimmy allowed a smile for his friend then simply said, "Ride safe," before slapping Cody's horse as the man rode away.

* * *

><p>Heather was tossing and turning in her bed. Usually if she had trouble sleeping thinking on Billy and how gentle he was when he would take her hands in his would help. Nothing helped tonight and she stared at the ceiling willing sleep to come, knowing that her inability to fall asleep would not keep morning from coming at the same time as always. The house was dead still and there was nothing that should stop her from sleeping. There was no doubt she was tired enough. She had done the wash, scrubbed the windows and supper had been a big one. Still sleep would not find her. Heather thought perhaps a little fresh air might just help. Sometimes it did. If Uncle Martin ever found out that she did this there would likely be hell to pay but he never did. Once he fell asleep, a keg of black powder blowing up next to his head would not wake him and the children were much the same. Heather slid from between her sheets and picked up her shoes before carefully tiptoeing toward the front door. After closing the door quietly behind her, she pushed her feet into the shoes and headed out toward the oak tree just beyond the fence where she sat in the misty night and tried to clear her mind. But the more she tried to clear her mind, the more her thoughts turned to those sparkling pale blue eyes and that lopsided smile, so much like a little boy's smile. The thought of his smile brought one to her face. She fancied that his smiles were all for her and that they could run off together forever and she could be that princess in the flowered crown and all the fairy stories her silly mother had told her could be true. But the tears came when once again her reality came to her that it could never be. If a man like that could love her, which he could not, there was too much in the way. No man would go through all of that for an ugly, stupid girl like she was.<p>

Heather picked her head up and gazed out over the dreamlike land around her. There was a mist covering the ground, making it damp beneath her and causing the whole world to seem as if it was floating and maybe not even real. On a night like this, fairies granted wishes and servant girls could be princesses. Knights could battle dragons and the impossible was possible. There wasn't even fear in her when she heard the hooves approaching her, then come to a stop and a rider jump down from his mount.

Cody rode out toward the Lepley place. He knew that Jimmy figured where he was going and on some level even understood. Cody just had to see where she lived, if nothing else. He had to feel near to her, maybe feel as if he was watching over her in some way. The mist was thick on the ground and for a moment he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. They were not. There was someone sitting beneath the oak by the fence line, a woman. He slowed the horse and then jumped down when he was near. It was Heather. She was sitting alone under the tree in just her night shift with her knees pulled tight to her chest looking around her and the mist covered earth. In the moonlight he could see the shining tracks on her cheeks where her tears had meandered like a stream through the woods.

Heather did not flinch or jump when she felt the hand on her back. Nothing could harm her on so magical a night and this was only a vision, a dream anyway.

"Why were you crying, Heather?" Cody asked her.

"I don't recall," she said and it was the truth for she really had no idea. This was the best dream she had ever had. His hand even felt warm through her light shift.

Cody moved and sat in front of her taking her face in his hands.

"Did someone hurt you? Is that why you're crying, honey?"

"No," she said still not understanding his preoccupation with her tears and then she felt his lips on her cheeks, her eyes.

Cody was desperate to replace her sadness with something else, some comfort of some sort. He kissed all about her face until he was sure he'd gotten every teardrop. Then he looked at her. Her hair was twisted into a long braid that hung over her shoulder. Her features were soft in the mist and moonlight and her eyes sparkled like the very stars above their heads. Cody gently pulled at the tie that secured her braid and worked his fingers through her hair releasing it to fall all around her shoulders.

"You are beautiful, Heather," he said reverently, "Has anyone ever told you that?"

"It's been a very long time," she said beginning to realize that this was not a dream, that Billy was not merely a vision that wandered out of the mist. He was really there, really caressing her face in his hands, really looking into her eyes, really calling her 'honey'.

Cody couldn't hold back another moment. She was beautiful. He wasn't sure how he hadn't seen it before but she was every bit as beautiful as the primping girls in town, if not more so. Still holding her face in his hands he brought her to him and pressed his lips to hers. Her sigh was music to his ears and he felt the warmth spread as she melted into him. His fingers wound into her hair as he worked his lips over hers and soon his tongue was prodding to gain access. Her mouth opened willingly and he soon was exploring every inch of it. She moaned into him and he felt her hands under his coat, only the fabric of his shirt separating their flesh. It was suddenly too hot in his coat and he shrugged out of it.

His hands traced the contours of her body that were only barely concealed by her thin nightshift. Their lips parted to allow them to breathe and just as quickly his lips found her neck. Her hands roved under his shirt which, in his haste to leave, he had not tucked in. He was not wearing anything under his shirt and her hands were like fire to his skin, fueling his passion for her. Her passion was just as evident in her peaked nipples that begged for his touch and he did. They felt so right beneath his fingers even through the thin cotton of her shift. His mouth found hers again and this time her tongue explored him. He left one hand to caress her breasts while the other lightly stroked her leg slowly pushing up the thin fabric as it went. He proceeded gently along the inside of her knee and then the inside of her thigh eventually meeting the soft tuft of hair now soaked with her want. Her hips rocked toward him. He knew all of the things they could not do right then and there but he knew of a few things they could do.

He unfastened his pants shoving them down a little ways and pulled her to lay down facing him. Then he took one of her hands from under his shirt and placed it on his throbbing manhood. He moved one hand back to that soft wetness between her legs while his other hand urged hers to rub him. She was unsure at first but then the more his fingers moved over her, the surer she became. Her hips rocked faster and harder into his hand and her own hand moved more feverishly over him. He was close and he knew it and just as that thought occurred to him her soft mewing sounds became more guttural as she cried out for him. Her hand on his erection sped up its already torrid pace and he followed her into the bliss.

Smiling at her he pushed a few strands of her long brown hair off from her face before kissing her tenderly. He held her close for a while as she caught her breath.

"You know Heather," he whispered softly in her ear, "I think I might just love you."

For a brief moment Heather allowed herself to be loved and even to love him in return but then reality trudged its way through the mist that surrounded them. This was not a dream. It was not a happy fantasy world and there was no room for her to be loved or to feel it either. This had been nice but her life was calling and if she hurried she could get back to her bed before she was missed.

"I'm sorry Billy," she said standing quickly, so quickly she nearly wavered. Her legs were still shaking from what they had done. "You can't love me. You just can't."

And then she was gone and Cody was left alone under the tree to rearrange his clothes and pull his pants up in bewildered silence.

* * *

><p><strong>Since people seemed to be intrigued by the first chapter I guess I will keep going...for those following my other stories, Faith is still happening and I am part way into a new chapter there...Livin' has been on a hiatus of sorts but will be returning with a wedding. Those who follow know what I am talking about. So never fear I will get to all! I promise. Just Cody really wanted me to try telling this story. Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think.-J<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Cody finished his chores extra early the next day so that he could wait at the school for Heather. He was worried at how out of hand he had let things get the night before and wanted the chance to explain himself. He waited for her and then just before the dismissal he saw her approach the school, stand off to the side and before he could get to her, she was surrounded by six Lepley children. He saw Rachel look questioningly at him but there was no way he was going to talk about this with her. He'd rather she didn't know what a cad he had been. He had professed to Rachel how much he loved Heather and then he had been far too forward. Granted he was pretty sure she enjoyed it too and he hadn't let things get way too far but he should have had some restraint in the matter all the same and he knew it. Heather's refusal to even acknowledge him was proof enough of that. So he trudged home and threw himself onto his bunk hoping for a nap but knowing sleep would not find him in the state of upset he was in.

* * *

><p>Heather didn't remember the walk back to the house from the oak tree and almost forgot that it was the middle of the night and she'd have to sneak in just as she'd snuck out. But she did remember that much at least and made it back into her bed without raising any alarm. Once beneath her blankets she touched her lips remembering his kiss. It had been so kind and so gentle, like nothing she'd known before. He had touched her like no one else had either. His touch felt so good and so right but then that shouldn't surprise her that she would find such pleasure in the touch of a man, even one she hardly knew. She was just like her mother and left to her own devices she would meet the same end. Still when she closed her eyes, all she could think of was those minutes spent with Billy.<p>

His kisses had started so tender as if they could heal every bit of hurt within her and then had become so deep and passionate they made her quiver. His touch made every hair on her body stand on end and when he told her she was beautiful she really thought he might mean it. When he freed himself from his pants, she had been a little scared and perhaps even more so when he placed her hand on it. It was so hard and yet felt like velvet beneath her fingers. He had been touching her between her legs as she had often touched herself and she wanted to make him feel like he was making her feel. His hand over hers had urged her to rub and stroke over his length and she had. She was still seeing stars from the pleasure he had brought her when she felt his body tense and his seed spilled onto the ground. He looked so happy then and he held her and told her he loved her. She wished more than anything in the world that she could believe him and know him to be a good man and believe his words. But there was no way for it to be. She had to stay where she was and do what she was told. It was the only hope she had. It was the best she had to hope for.

* * *

><p>Cody wasn't sure how long he laid there on his bunk staring at the wall but eventually he heard the door open. He wasn't in the mood to talk to one of the guys but it wasn't one of them anyway. It was Teaspoon. Cody tried to feign sleep but Teaspoon wasn't buying it.<p>

"Cody," the older man said sounding exhausted and like he was feeling every one of his years in that moment although none of the boys knew exactly how many years that was. "Walk with me, son."

Teaspoon had been enjoying a bit of a doze in his office when Rachel had come in begging him to talk to the boy. She explained the whole situation as far as she understood it with Heather. Teaspoon had counseled Jimmy, Buck, Kid and Jimmy once or twice more for good measure on a good many things but rarely had he really had to focus on Cody. Not that Cody was a perfect one or anything. He was lazy and gluttonous but he rarely needed the fatherly advice that Teaspoon doled out to the rest. Perhaps Teaspoon had neglected the boy. Perhaps that's why he seemed so down now and hadn't come to him in the first place. Perhaps putting all that energy into the others he had failed to develop the proper rapport with Cody to make him feel he had someone to come to. As much as he had cautioned Emma about becoming too attached he had gotten even more so and had promised her when she left that he would look out for them. He had felt he failed her as well as Ike when he was killed. He now felt every day he owed her more and more and tried his hardest with the boys and the girl.

Cody reluctantly pulled himself off of the bunk and wandered out with Teaspoon. He had a feeling he knew what this was about and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have a chat with the man. Teaspoon had been around a bit and it was possible he even remembered what it was like to be young and in love. Cody knew Teaspoon still understood the in love part.

The pair walked in silence and Cody was starting to think that he was wrong and this had nothing to do with Heather and he was in trouble maybe but then Teaspoon stopped walking at a gnarled tree that looked out on a meadow of wild flowers and sat down. Cody sat next to him and decided that if he was in trouble this was the best place to get yelled at.

"Do you know why I brought you here, Cody?"

"No," Cody said honestly, "But it sure is a pretty spot."

"Yes it is and a pretty spot can be the perfect spot for a man to think," Teaspoon told him, "Rachel told me there was a lot weighing on your mind lately and I thought maybe you needed a good place to come and think and maybe someone to help you sort those thoughts."

"She told you about Heather?"

"She told me you met a young lady you found quite fetching and thought maybe you might have some serious feelings for," Teaspoon explained, "But something's happened and maybe you didn't feel you could go to Rachel anymore to talk about it. Did you and this young lady have a quarrel?"

"No, it's nothing like that," Cody said, "We, um, well, see what happened was this. I couldn't sleep last night and I needed to clear my head so I went for a ride and ended up at her uncle's farm. She was sitting under a tree and I don't know why she was but she was and she had been crying. Teaspoon, she was so pretty there in the mist and the moonlight. I mean I think she's awful pretty normally but you know…"

Teaspoon nodded. It may have been a while since he'd been quite the youth that Cody was but he remembered young and in love.

"I do know, son," Teaspoon said gently patting the boy on the back, "Tell me what happened."

"I just wanted to kiss her. I swear that's all I had in mind but then kissing her felt so good that things didn't stop at kissing."

"Cody," Teaspoon said trying to keep judgment from his voice. He knew what it was to be young and to have that passion of youth overtake rational thought. "You didn't deflower that girl, did you?"

"No!" Cody nearly yelled and then lowered his tone, "No, I wouldn't do that. I mean I wanted to something awful but I care for her and even though she don't think she's a lady, I do."

Teaspoon had always known there was more to this boy than met the eye. Sure he enjoyed food and avoiding work plenty but then so did Teaspoon. His scoldings of Cody for such things were only to guide him to the right times and places for those things. And if the young man was a bit of a clown it was only to mask his own fears that he wasn't enough to be liked on his own. Whatever bravado he showed, Teaspoon knew it to be a desperate call for approval. He wanted someone to be proud of him. It didn't often occur to the old marshal how young these boys really were and Cody was younger than the others a bit anyway. He said and did things to make people think he was older and more a man than he really felt. He'd visited the women in saloons and brothels but when it came to women he might court, Teaspoon had never known him to act a cad. And he was pretty sure it wasn't because Cody was so worried about what others might think but because of a real respect he held for women. He gawked more than was polite but as much as Rachel had wanted to knock him upside the head for his behavior when she'd first arrived, he would never have actually done anything to her or allowed anyone else to mistreat her either. His eyes soften toward Cody.

"Now what do you mean she don't think she's a lady?" he asked.

Cody sighed heavily before recounting the times he would spend trying to get Heather to open to him and how he had tried to give her something of that perfect day she spoke of and how she had nearly rejected it all. Her words that she didn't deserve pretty things and that what she had was the best she could hope for still haunted him. Like she was resigning herself to misery and he supposed she was.

Teaspoon listened and was saddened at what he heard. He did not know Martin Lepley but to nod as he passed him on the street and he had never met Etheline. He only knew the story from a few others in town who probably were speaking out of turn. Heather had come to live with them when she was perhaps eleven or twelve and Etheline had died two or so years later. She had been giving birth to what would have been the family's seventh child had he lived. That would have made six boys and just the one girl, little Adelaide or Addie has they called her. But instead the baby came too early to make it and both he and Etheline died trying to deliver. That left Heather all of thirteen or fourteen to take care of the house and the other children even though she was only a child herself. It saddened Teaspoon to hear such a thing but then stories like this one weren't rare. Heather was in fact the closest to a woman relative they had. Etheline had been her mother's sister and while Etheline and Martin had been the only family to see to her when her ma died, she was now the only one to see to Martin and the children once Etheline died.

Now however, it sounded like something was perhaps not what it should be within the Lepley home. He wondered and worried for whatever Cody may have gotten himself into by pursuing this girl. Perhaps he could figure a reason to visit the Lepley home. He wouldn't want to risk getting either Cody or Heather into any trouble but just to get a feel for the situation there. In any other home he would balk at her insistence that Cody not speak to her uncle but with other things she had told the boy, well, Teaspoon didn't want to take a chance with anyone's safety.

Teaspoon looked over to see Cody staring intently at him looking worried.

"I really did mess up, didn't I?"

"I can't say for sure until you can talk to her about it," Teaspoon said, "Did she seem to be as lost in the passion as you were?"

Cody only nodded.

"Then she probably has the same feelings for you that you do for her. I have a feeling that the reason she's avoiding you doesn't mean what you think it means."

"I don't understand, Teaspoon."

"I'm not sure I do yet either, son," Teaspoon said placing a hand on Cody's shoulder, "I guess we'll have to just figure it out. I'll help but I need you to keep me informed and I'll do the same for you as well."

* * *

><p>Cody tossed and turned that night and the next morning he was exhausted. Still he quickly finished chores and headed over to the school. He waited and waited but once again she arrived almost simultaneous to the children's dismissal and stayed away from him. He thought when he looked at her that he maybe saw her trying to make eye contact and even fancied that she looked as if she wanted to talk to him but she did not and the more he thought about it, the more he was certain that he'd imagined it. Just as the day before he trudged home to see about a nap and this time he had a little more luck with that.<p>

When he once again found himself tossing and turning through the night he finally gave up on sleep and got out of bed and started pulling his clothes on.

"What're you doing, Cody?" came a whisper from the darkness.

"Not sleeping," he whispered back and left the bunkhouse fully intending on heading for the barn until he heard the door open and quietly shut behind him.

"I don't need a babysitter, Hickok," he said exasperated.

"You sure about that?" Jimmy asked trying to sound good natured and failing. He was worried. They all were worried. Cody didn't act like this about anything and surely not about some female. There was much more to this story than Jimmy or any of the rest knew and it worried him. He could sense trouble and he hated knowing there was trouble coming that he wasn't prepared for.

"You want me to go back in and set to tossing and turning again?" Cody asked, "I know I was keeping you awake."

"So are you getting an early start on your chores or what?" Jimmy asked pretty sure he knew what Cody was doing and equally sure he'd be doing the same thing in Cody's shoes.

Cody gave a sour look that said he didn't even need to answer the question and Jimmy sighed and nodded.

"If you're not back for breakfast, I ain't making up lies for Rachel about where you are."

"I know and I wouldn't ask you to either," Cody said knowing full well that he could not risk the sun coming up to find him where he was going. "I'll be back well before."

Jimmy nodded once more and cast a sympathetic look at his friend before heading back inside the bunkhouse to try to get some sleep though he figured worry would probably keep the sleep he would get from being very good sleep. A short while later Jimmy heard Cody walking his horse away from the station and then kicking it to a gallop in the direction of the Lepley farm.

Cody honestly let himself believe for a while that she would be under the oak tree waiting for him to ride up. In his mind they would kiss passionately and then he could explain himself. But there was no one there at all when he got to the tree. Still he dismounted and sat a while just staring at the house and watching for any signs of movement. There were none. It was a little bit comforting to at least know he was close to her. It wasn't close enough though. Holding her in his arms would not be close enough to satisfy him. Eventually he climbed back into his saddle and rode home. In time sleep found him but it wasn't enough and he was in a foul mood come morning. There wasn't a single resident of the bunkhouse who didn't have a small internal celebration at remembering that Cody was up for a ride that day. Once he was gone the discussion began as to the reason for their friend's strange behavior. No one seemed to completely understand the cause.

"Has he said anything to you, Jimmy?" Lou asked wondering if Cody's mood had anything to do with the girl he mentioned to her once. She shrugged off that thought not believing he would still be interested in the same girl a full week later.

"Nothing I'm going to repeat," he said.

"You do know, don't you?" asked Buck who thought that something had been up. Cody's ornery attitude that morning had only confirmed that for him.

"I do and if he wanted the rest of you all to know he'd've told you."

"But he might need our help," Lou pleaded, "Just tell me if this has to do with some woman."

"He might just end up needing our help," Jimmy said, "And we'll be there to help him if he does."

"You didn't answer my other question, Jimmy."

"I think you already know," he said simply.

The rest of the riders went to begin their chores leaving Jimmy and Lou standing in front of the bunkhouse.

"Is it that Heather he told me about? That was over a week ago."

"I really can't give you details, Lou."

"Maybe we should go talk to this Heather," Lou huffed. Cody annoyed her but he was one of her brothers and she would fight for him as he would undoubtedly fight for her.

"Lou, that's probably not the best idea," Jimmy said, "I don't know everything but I just think it would cause problems for them both if we stick our noses into this. She ain't being mean or anything from what I understand."

Jimmy walked away leaving Lou with her mouth gaping.

* * *

><p>Heather approached the school wary that Billy would be there. If asked she wouldn't have even been able to explain what all she was afraid of. She feared that perhaps Billy thought her loose and would no longer look at her with that tenderness. And she was as much afraid that he would want to finish what they had started as she was that he would reject her completely. Perhaps her greatest fear had nothing to do with how Billy would react to her but that she would not be able to stop her own reactions. She wanted so badly to be held in his arms again, to be kissed gently and to be told she was pretty.<p>

As grateful as she was to see he was nowhere to be found, she was just as much disappointed. Heather knew it was better that he not be there, that she not be tempted by things she could not have but still she wanted to see him all the same. The bell rang and Heather started looking around for the children when she felt a tug on her dress. She looked down to see little Addie staring back up at her with wide eyes.

"The boys is in trouble, Heather," the little girl said, "Miss Dunne wantsa talk t'you."

Heather sighed. There was nothing she could do to punish the boys but she would surely get yelled at if she didn't get everyone back in time to start supper. If Uncle Martin came into the house and supper wasn't ready, she'd probably be sleeping on the porch.

The schoolteacher, Mrs. Dunne was already headed her way. Heather looked at the ground as the beautiful woman approached.

"Good afternoon, Miss Hastings," Rachel said smiling and fought a frown at how hard the girl worked to look anywhere but at her.

"Afternoon, Ma'am," Heather mumbled.

"Addie, could you run and play just a bit so we can talk?" Rachel asked the girl who happily headed off to run around a bit more. "Addie says you've worked with her on her reading. It's paying off. You've done good work with her."

"She ain't no work at all," Heather replied still looking at the dirt in front of her feet, "She's sweet as pie. Does anything I ask of her."

"Bet you wish all of them were like her," Rachel mused, "I know I do."

Heather only nodded slightly. If word got back to Uncle Martin that she had said anything bad about the boys, well, she didn't know what would happen but sleeping on the porch would look like a Sunday stroll in comparison.

"Heather," Rachel began and paused a little when Heather looked up at her. "Can I call you Heather?" The girl nodded and Rachel continued. "The boys were pests today and they deserve to be cleaning my erasers but I wanted to talk to you about Billy Cody. I imagine living in a house without another woman it's hard to think through everything you're feeling."

"There's nothing to talk about," Heather said but Rachel saw the flush come over her cheeks and the way her head shot up at hearing his name and knew there was plenty to talk about. "He was nice to me and sat a while with me when I got here too early."

"He cares for you," Rachel said, "I know that boy pretty darned well and I have never seen him like this over a young lady."

"He can't care for me," Heather said softly, "I already told him that. He should have better and I will have what there is for me."

Rachel was about to say something else, ask what the odd girl meant by that statement but before she could, the Lepley boys came around from the back of the schoolhouse where they'd been cleaning erasers and Rachel knew she had to let the girl get home with her charges.

"It was good to talk to you Heather," she said as she watched the girl walk toward home with the boys running wildly ahead and little Addie gripping her hand. Heather's head was still down and Rachel couldn't wait for Cody to get home from his ride so she could talk to him about the curious girl who had struck his fancy.

* * *

><p><strong>I really have nothing much to say about this chapter except that the characters were being very uncooperative while I wrote it.-J<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Shivering against the night chill Heather pulled the blanket tighter to her. She wasn't finding sleep easily that night and at least part of the reason was that she was lying on the hard porch floor. At least Uncle Martin had finally given in and allowed her a blanket on nights when this was her sleeping arrangement. There was a time when he did not but now he had a greater interest in her and allowed her some warmth. It wasn't impossible to fall asleep on the porch—she had done it before—but it was difficult and the stupid owl that wouldn't shut up wasn't making it any easier.

Finally she stood up keeping the blanket around her and headed for the oak tree. The grass was thick beneath it and would be softer than the wood planks of the porch. Besides, her last memory of the place was a tender a sweet one and perhaps she could drift off to sleep with thoughts of Billy. If there was any chance he would come, she wouldn't have dared to go but he hadn't been at school that day and that must mean he moved on. Heather reminded herself it was good that he had moved on. He deserved it.

Once beneath the old oak she sat down and then curled onto her side with her arms folded under her head as a pillow and the blanket as tight to her as she could get it. She knew it was right that she was out here. Uncle Martin worked hard to provide for them all and she could have landed in an orphanage more than once. He and Aunt Etheline didn't have to take her in and when her aunt had died, he didn't need to keep her. She was no blood kin to him anyway. If she couldn't even do one simple thing right like get his supper around at a decent time then she deserved to lose her comforts.

Heather heard the hooves approaching but she was tired and still a little cold and she decided she just didn't care anymore. One eye cracked open as the person she most and least wanted to see rode toward her.

* * *

><p>Cody barely got off his horse on his return from his ride before Lou was at him.<p>

"What did she do to you, Cody?"

"What did who do?" he asked, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Jimmy won't say anything. Say's it's not my business."

"Then it probably ain't," he replied. He had a lot on his mind and playing at riddles with Lou wasn't going to get rid of this headache that was coming on.

"Cody something's wrong and I got a feeling it has to do with that Heather girl you was asking about," Lou said, "What did she do to you? 'Cause if she hurt you I'll-"

"You'll nothing Lou," Cody cut her words off; "She didn't do anything. Something's wrong and yeah that's why I've been such a jerk but Heather don't have it in her to hurt no one. I think she's been hurt too much herself."

"Maybe I should talk to her," Lou offered still thinking she could give this Heather a piece of her mind. Cody might not think she could hurt someone but he probably wasn't seeing her for what she was.

"No, Lou. Please don't. She thinks you're a boy as it is and you'd scare her. She scares easy and I think if her uncle saw her talking to a boy, well, I don't know but something ain't right about all that. You just let me handle this. Please."

"I'm just worried for you Cody," Lou said looking a little hurt, "I just worry something could happen to you or you might not be able to handle it all on your own and none of us even know what all's going on."

"If I need help, I promise I'll ask for it," he assured her, "And maybe I'm wrong and everything is fine and she's just figuring out how she feels. I don't know yet."

Lou scowled a bit hoping that he really would let them know if he needed them. These boys sometimes had a problem with pride. Of course so did she sometimes. Lou let the matter drop for the rest of the evening and was going to let it go altogether until she heard Cody slipping out of bed after he thought they all were asleep. Jimmy whispered something she couldn't make out and Cody nodded and whispered something in return and then left the bunkhouse. Lou couldn't stay in bed and started toward the door.

"Let him go, Lou," Jimmy whispered.

"Where's he going?" she asked and then whispered the reply, "To her?"

Jimmy didn't get up or try to physically stop her but he hoped Cody would be able to make her understand to let him go. Jimmy wasn't sure if they always met when Cody went out but he had a feeling they did at least some of the time and that what they did was meant to stay between the two of them. He laid there awake listening for a reason to get up and go see to them. He hoped he wouldn't have to. He was up the next morning to ride.

Lou walked cautiously out to the barn to find Cody saddling his horse.

"You going to meet her, Cody?"

"And what if I am, Lou," he shot back at her, "It makes me feel better to know I'm close to her. And I haven't seen her since yesterday at the school."

He started to climb into the saddle.

"So this is why you're so grouchy every morning?" she asked, "You're off with this girl all night?"

"I just go to this tree by her house. Most times she's not out."

"But sometimes she is," Lou said, "What kind of girl goes out in the middle of the night to meet a boy? You deserve better than a girl like that Cody. You could have yourself a nice girl and not a loose one like that."

"Lou," he said through gritted teeth, "You better be thankful I know you're a girl because any man or boy ever says anything like that about Heather is going to get his clock cleaned."

With that he pulled himself onto the horse and rode off. Lou stood looking lost for a moment. Part of her wanted to follow him but then part of her knew that if the girl was waiting for him that he'd never forgive her for what she would interrupt. At last she decided to go in and get some sleep. She could take this up again with him in the morning. She slipped back into the bunkhouse and thought she was going unnoticed until she locked eyes with Jimmy.

"You knew," she whispered accusing.

"Yeah I knew," he whispered back, "And it ain't none of my business what he's doing or even who he's doing it with."

"Then why'd you talk to him before he left?"

"I's just making sure that's where he was going," Jimmy said softly, "He ain't back for breakfast some morning I'd like to know where to start looking. Get to sleep would you so I can?"

Lou did just that but begrudgingly and against what she thought was her better judgment.

* * *

><p>Cody rode toward the oak and saw something moving near it. He slowed to get a better view and realized it wasn't a something but a somebody that was settling down onto the ground under the tree. Someone in a blanket was curling up as if to sleep. He jumped down from the horse and walked closer. He saw it was Heather and took the few steps back toward the horse to grab the bedroll he'd tied behind the saddle. He figured on being there for a little while and didn't want to get too cold. Now he thought Heather could use another blanket as well. He hurried back to her while unrolling the blanket and sat next to her. She rolled to face him and he brushed the hair away from her face. Her skin was so cold.<p>

"Much as I want to spend the time with you, Heather," he said, "If I can't get you warm, you're going to have to go inside."

"I can't," she said quietly, "I'm not allowed inside tonight."

"How can you not be allowed in your own house?"

"It's not my house," she stated very simply, "It is Uncle Martin's house. He lets me stay. He can make the rules."

Cody reached for the gun strapped to his side, "I ought to show him something about rule making."

"Please don't, Billy," she pleaded, "You're here. Please stay with me."

She was sitting up then and leaned the short distance to press her lips to the side of his face. He turned toward her kiss causing his lips to meet hers. He removed his gun and spread his own blanket over hers before climbing under both blankets with her.

"I'm so glad you're here, really," he said once he had successfully nestled her into him and she was wrapped safely in his arms. "I don't like why you are here. I'd rather it was to be with me but I needed to talk to you."

"I know," she said into his chest and he could feel the heat of her tears there too seeping through his shirt. "I know and it's alright."

"I don't understand why you're crying. I only wanted to apologize for letting things get so out of hand. I don't want you to feel I'm moving you too fast. You could say 'no' and I wouldn't be sore at you. And I meant what I said before too. I know any man can say those words after what we'd just done but I want you to know I do mean it. I told you I thought I loved you but I've had some time to think and now I know I do."

"You can't love me, Billy," she told him, "You just can't."

"That's not something I have control over," he replied, "I just do. Now why shouldn't I love you anyway? You're beautiful and gentle and when I can coax one you have the prettiest smile in the territory."

"I can't tell you. And I'm not beautiful. I'm ugly and stupid and no one wants me around."

"I want you around," Cody said kissing the top of her head, "I want you around so much I come here and sit when you aren't out. I go to the school and wait just to see you even if you aren't there early enough to talk to me."

"You weren't there today."

"I had a ride," he explained, "I had to work."

Heather was quiet for a while and Cody thought maybe she had fallen asleep. In a way he was disappointed. He had wanted at least to kiss her more but she always looked so tired so she must need her sleep and at least she was in his arms right then.

Heather wasn't in fact asleep as Cody thought. She was doing her own share of thinking and what she was thinking about was how it made her feel to bring him pleasure the other time they were together. He was good and kind to her and she felt she could repay him a bit by making him feel good. It was so warm and cozy under the blanket and she felt safe for the first time in so long she couldn't rightly remember.

Cody was about to fall asleep when he felt her lips on his neck. She kissed him tentatively as if she thought she might be doing something wrong.

"That feels so good, Heather," he moaned causing her kisses to become stronger and journey toward his jaw and then to his mouth. He wanted to lose himself in his tongue exploring her mouth and the feel of her hands under his shirt but he knew he could not, not then at least.

"Honey," he said pulling his mouth from hers, "You don't have to do that."

"I want to," she answered, "I want you to feel good."

"You make me feel good alright but I worry about you," he said hating that he had to be the one to slow this up. He wanted her hands on him, all over him and he wanted to touch every inch of her. He wanted to kiss her until she was dizzy and he wanted to be inside her although he knew that past part would really have to wait. "I worry you're being hurt. I worry you're made to sleep outside. I worry you're not eating enough. I worry you're too skinny and too sad and I want to make it all better and I don't know how. Tell me how I can make it better for you."

"You are," she told him, "You are making it so much better."

And her lips met his again and her hands resumed their roving. He pulled away from her once more.

"Heather, please tell me how I can help you. I know you need help and I just don't know what to do."

"I don't think there is anything but holding me here and letting me make you feel good."

"Think about it please."

She nodded and then he was the one to descend on her lips and he let her hands go where they wanted. His hands roamed as well and soon they were unbuttoning her dress and reaching inside to her breasts. His kisses traveled until he took one of her breasts in his mouth eliciting a groan from her. Her hands slid to the waist of his pants and worked to unfasten them. Soon most of their clothing was discarded and the blankets as well yet they were sweating. Cody rolled Heather on her back and allowed his kisses to trail downward across her stomach and toward the waist of her pantaloons. They were the only clothing remaining on her body. He pulled the drawstring at the top of the garment and slowly slid the waist down her hips following it with a trail of kisses.

Heather was lost for a while in Billy's kisses. They covered her and they were so tender and gentle. But now he was removing her pantaloons and she could feel his hardness pressing into her thighs as he kissed farther down her body. She panicked. She could not do this. Her hand was shaking as she grabbed his shoulder hard enough for him to look up from where he was kissing her hip.

Cody looked up at her. It felt so right to kiss her and he wanted to make sure every inch of her body had been covered in kisses but she stopped him and he saw the fear in her eyes and shifted back up her body, his face hovering over hers.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I-I can't."

She looked terrified to have said anything and Cody rolled over pulling her with him and holding her tight to him.

"We don't have to do anything you aren't ready for," he assured her, "I don't want to hurt or scare you at all."

"I-I can't…I-I mean I don't want…"

"Heather, what is it you don't want me to do?"

"Put it in me," she whispered. Cody looked at her a minute and then realized what she meant.

"I won't. I swear it," he said, "At least for tonight. We'll see how you feel about it another time. For now can I go back to making you feel good?"

She nodded tentatively and Cody started over at her neck again working his way downward. Eventually he met back up with the top of her pantaloons and went back to lowering them. He kissed his way down to her knees and then tugged the garment the rest of the way off. He rocked back on his heels and admired her nude body in the moonlight. Heather looked at him with a note of fear still clinging to her.

"I promised," was all he said before crouching between her legs and lowering his mouth into the soft folds between them.

Heather didn't know what to think. She had never heard of anyone doing what he was doing to her and she wasn't sure it was right but then it did feel so very good. But then she just wasn't sure of this at all.

"Billy," she said and he looked up to see her frightened face.

"It's okay," he said, "I'm keeping my promise and this'll feel real good. Just relax."

Cody couldn't believe he hadn't thought that she might be apprehensive about this. Surely she didn't know all the things men and women could do. He should have talked to her first but guessed he'd just have to show her. His mouth returned to that space between her legs. His fingers parted the velvet folds there as his tongue caressed her deepest need. Her breath grew rapid and ragged and eventually she cried out making him look fearfully toward the house. No lights came on so he merely curled next to her.

Heather had thought the way he touched her before was amazing but this was something incredible. She wanted him to know how good she felt so she reached for his hard length and ran her hands lightly up and down feeling the shudder from him. His hands were still aimlessly twirling in her soft, wet curls between her legs.

"You should feel good too," she said softly but it felt bold to her.

"I can't begin to tell you how good this feels," he replied.

"I mean really feel good, like you just made me feel. I can do what I did before. Maybe I'd be better at it this time. Is that what you want?"

He kissed her forehead.

"You keep rubbing where you're rubbing and pretty soon I'll feel better than a man has a right to," he said, "I don't think you can get much better at it."

Cody fell back onto his back allowing Heather to do what she wished with him and what she wished nearly drove him mad. It did not take long for the sticky heat to spurt onto his belly.

"My God! That was incredible," he panted.

Heather looked down and was grateful that the darkness obscured her blush. She knew he had been with women before. There was no way a handsome man like that hadn't and she knew nothing of these things. They dressed and then curled together under the blankets and readied to sleep for a while. Cody thought that having her in his arms was about the best thing he could imagine. It was almost better than how it felt for her to touch him. He knew she was safe and she knew it too. He could tell.

"Do you feel good?" she asked.

"Honey," he answered, "Men aren't that complicated. You made me feel very good. I think the best I ever felt. I'm thinking maybe I'd like it if you were in my arms every night. Maybe even make it legal and marry you if you didn't object."

Heather snuggled in closer loving his words but knowing that it could not be and if he knew all she concealed that he would not say those pretty things. But he didn't know and she didn't have to tell him yet. She could tell him something else though.

"Billy?"

"What is it?"

"I love you."

* * *

><p><strong>Honestly when you've got two horny teens there's just so much you can do with them.-J<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Heather approached the schoolyard nervously. She knew if he wasn't there he could maybe be working and it didn't mean that he didn't love her. Still she really needed to see him. She had meant it when she told him she loved him. Her mind went back to the night before, after they'd fallen asleep. They woke well before dawn and she had never known anything quite like the safety and comfort she felt then. He held her tight and kissed her deeply making her want to touch him and be touched by him all over again but there was no time.

"Heather, please think about what I asked," he had said earnestly, "I know you need help but I can't help you unless you tell me how. I love you and I'd do anything for you. If you love me too like you say you do, you'll let me help you do more than just feel good for a little while."

She wanted help and she knew he probably could but worried he would not be able to still love her once he knew. Still she turned it over in her mind how she could procure his help without having to explain her situation completely to him.

Getting closer to the school Heather released the breath she hadn't known she was holding when she saw Billy under the apple tree waiting for her.

* * *

><p>Cody had gotten back to the bunkhouse a little before dawn and if he thought about it he would have to admit that he had gotten little sleep but the amount of sleep hardly mattered. The smile he had was not about to leave his face for anything. Heather told him she loved him. He had told her the same thing and it had hurt when she didn't say it back right away but then it was soon and she was scared. He didn't know all that lurked beneath the surface with her but he knew he wanted to face it with her no matter what it was.<p>

The others quickly noticed the change in Cody. He didn't snap at anyone and greeted all with a hearty good morning and a chipper smile. After breakfast Lou approached her friend.

"Are you alright, Cody?"

"Really Lou?" he asked with a little annoyance creeping into his tone, "You're not happy when I'm in a bad mood and now you're not happy when I'm in a good one and I am in a good mood, Lou. I actually feel better than I have in quite a while."

"Just 'cause a girl lets you have your way with her don't mean nothing, Cody."

"Lou," Cody said losing patience but trying to keep his smile in place, "You don't know what you're talking about and what happened or didn't happen between me and Heather ain't actually your concern. And you keep putting Heather down like that and I might forget you're a girl."

Lou was taken aback. She was only looking out for a boy she saw like a brother. She had been silly when she had shoved Jimmy toward Sarah Downs, not that he needed much shoving. They had talked afterward, more than she guessed he had with any of the others and she learned that the reason he was so slow to see Sarah for what she was, was the fact that Sarah had given herself over to him and he hadn't had a woman before then. She knew Cody had and that made some difference but he was acting strange about this girl all the same and she worried he could be hurt. Lou turned and walked swiftly away not wanting to let Cody see the emotion in her face and how he'd rattled and even hurt her some.

Cody set to his chores like he had since he had discovered that he could meet Heather at the school if he got there early enough. He hoped that last night had been a sign that she would not take such pains to avoid him any longer. As he was working he realized that he was not alone and looked over.

"Morning Jimmy," Cody said easily.

"How's Heather?" Jimmy asked. He was fairly certain of what might have happened the night before to have his friend in this good of a mood but he knew that wasn't really his business. What the two of them might talk about after a trip to the saloon was far different than what they would talk about when it concerned a woman one of them cared about. And Cody really cared about Heather, that much was clear.

Cody considered Jimmy's question. There was nothing unseemly about it and Cody understood he was not being asked about their private activities. He thought to just tell Jimmy Heather was fine and leave it at that but then he thought better of it. Jimmy was a surly one but he'd had his share of heartache and maybe he'd understand.

"I worry about her, Jimmy," Cody said, "I went to the tree where we met once and she was sleeping there because she wasn't allowed in the house. I don't think she eats enough either."

"She wasn't allowed in the house?"

"I guess it's some punishment or something that sometimes she has to sleep outside," Cody explained and his smile from earlier faded into something between sadness and fury.

Jimmy fumed. It had never set right with him to see someone use a position of power to torment another. He'd seen it in many forms from how his mother had been treated to how slaves were treated and even others. Only someone who felt weak could think they could draw strength from pushing someone down who was more vulnerable.

"Should we go and have a talk with her uncle?" Jimmy asked, "I mean if she's being hurt…"

"She says she's not," Cody replied, "Says he never laid a hand on her. Threatens her with other stuff though too, like getting sent to an orphanage."

"Yeah then I guess we should have a chat with him," Jimmy said through clenched teeth, "I don't even know her but that ain't right."

"It ain't," Cody conceded, "I know that but I don't think talking to Martin Lepley's going to make anything better for her. I have a plan. Heather says she loves me and I know I love her. I figure I can get her to agree to run away with me. I'll marry her and she'll never have to live like that again."

"Cody," Jimmy said working to keep his tone even, "Are you sure you're not rushing into things? I understand you want to help her. I want to help her too but you're talking about marrying her. I know it's a different feeling when you're with a nice girl and not one you paid but that feeling, as nice as it is still ain't always love."

"It's not what we do when we're together that makes me so sure, Jimmy," Cody insisted, "Though you're right, there's something special about doing those things with someone you get to know and care for. And we haven't even, well, you know…not yet anyway."

"You're this cheerful and you didn't?"

"Well, there's plenty of other things people can do," Cody said and his eyebrows spoke more of what he meant than his words, "Speaking of which, I wanted to ask you about something."

Cody stood close to Jimmy with a look that said he needed this to go no further.

"I'm not the best advice guy," Jimmy told him, "Lou's found that out more'n once. You're probably better to talk to Teaspoon."

"Maybe but out of the guys I figure you're the most likely to know," Cody said in a hushed tone his eyes darting to make sure no one was listening in, "What do you know about," he paused and looked around one last time then whispered, "virgins?"

"What?" Jimmy sputtered.

"Shh…no need to yell, Hickok," Cody whispered, "It's a simple question. I just only ever been with girls at the saloon and none of them are. Heather's got to be. Teaspoon asked if I deflowered her and I know what that means but at the same time I don't. I mean, I know I didn't but still, have you ever, you know?"

Jimmy shot Cody a glare and Cody quickly responded.

"I ain't asking for details or nothing," Cody said, "Guys talk and it's all about how good it is but well they don't, um, talk about uh, her. I got to admit it's real exciting but I don't want to, well, hurt her."

"I don't think there's a way around it," Jimmy said looking away.

"You think I'm stupid thinking about it."

"I don't," Jimmy answered and he meant it, "Don't imagine too many guys want to cause hurt like that."

Jimmy stared ahead for a while. The only women he'd really known in that way were either working girls or had pasts possibly more sullied than those of the girls in the saloons. He'd never even considered what he would do if he met an innocent girl. He knew the chances of meeting such a girl and then having her even consider giving such a thing to him were mighty slim but it now made him wonder how he would react to knowing that being with her might cause her pain, at least at first. He looked over to Cody who was starting to really look uncomfortable. Jimmy knew he was scowling in thought. He worked a smile onto his face and clapped Cody on the back.

"Don't sweat it, Cody," Jimmy said smiling, "If she agrees, she's got to figure that it, well, it might…" his voice trailed off, "Or maybe you can distract her from it?"

"Well how do I-" Cody started to ask and then saw the smile on his friend's face and understood. Then he smiled himself. Sure he knew ways to distract her. "Thanks Jimmy."

* * *

><p>Cody saw Heather walking cautiously toward the schoolyard and brightened himself when he saw her take note of him. Her back straightened and her pace quickened to hurry toward him. When she finally reached the apple tree she was beaming a wide smile at him.<p>

"Hello Billy," she nearly sang, "Is this seat taken?"

She gestured toward the spot of soft grass next to him.

"It's reserved for my true love," he smiled and winked at her.

She sat happily down next to him and her pale green eyes sparkled as the sun picked out the golden cast within them. She wanted to be his true love and he said she was. Oh, how she wanted to believe him and had half a thought that maybe she could. And that was the reason for her plan this day. She had already begun supper and had it half cooked so that parts only needed warming and the rest could be prepared quickly. She wanted to talk to that Mrs. Dunne the schoolteacher. She had a story prepared for the children and she would have this talk and ask her questions. Billy told her that she shouldn't have to live the way she did, that no one deserved a life like hers and she thought maybe he was right but she had to be sure of a few things before she got her hopes up.

"Have you thought anymore about how I can help you?" Cody asked.

"I have and I just don't know," she told him, "But seeing you helps. And meeting you at night helps too."

She blushed bright red at her last statement knowing it made her so improper but she wanted to be as honest as she could with him. There was so much she was withholding already and she hated for there to be anymore lies or half truths between them.

"I love every minute I get to spend with you, Heather. I really do but we can't sneak forever, you know."

"I know but for a little while longer," she pleaded, "I need to do some more thinking about my situation and how you can maybe help me."

"I can't say no to you," Cody said, "I wish I could kiss you right now though."

"Tonight," she smiled, "Tonight under the oak you can kiss me all you want."

She was too bold in saying such things and she knew it but it felt good to be bold. The bell was rung and Heather looked to where children spilled out of the schoolhouse.

"Will you stay here for a minute?" she asked him, "I need a favor."

A favor? She asked a favor. That wasn't like her at all but the smile that spread across his face told her it wasn't a bad thing that she had.

"I am at your service, my lady," he said bowing to her. Heather giggled and blushed and went to find the schoolteacher.

Cody watched her bustle away smiling. This didn't seem a huge favor but she was asking for his help with something. Maybe eventually it would be with something that could really make things better for her.

Heather made her way through the crowd of children to the beautiful blonde lady standing on the steps.

"Hello Heather," Rachel said warmly as the girl approached. She had hoped for another chance to speak with Cody's newest love.

"Hello Mrs. Dunne," Heather replied trying not to look at her shoes, "I was wondering of you could tell the children to walk home with Billy so I could talk to you."

"Of course," Rachel said hoping this would be explained soon as well. They two women rounded up the Lepley children and headed toward where Cody was still standing beneath the apple tree.

"Cody," Rachel said, "I need to speak with Miss Hastings about the children. Do you suppose you could walk them home for her? It's very important."

Cody looked between the two and settled at last on Heather's pleading eyes. He smiled his warmest smile.

"Sure thing, Rachel," he replied, "I'll be back to walk you home shortly."

As he passed Heather he whispered softly, "Can you stay until I get back?"

She nodded and his smile widened.

Once Cody and the children were gone the two women sat beneath the tree. It was nice and one of the few places in the schoolyard with grass that hadn't been trampled away by the running feet of children.

"I'm glad you came to talk to me Heather," Rachel said, "I'd hoped we could be friends of a sort."

"Mrs. Dunne," Heather began but stopped when Rachel held up a hand.

"We're friends, remember? Call me Rachel."

"Thank you Rachel," Heather said, "I wanted to talk to you about well, love. Have you been in love before, Rachel?"

"Why, yes I have, Heather," Rachel answered, "I was even married."

"What happened?"

"He died, sweetie."

"I am so sorry, Rachel," Heather said kicking herself for bringing up something so potentially painful.

"Please don't be," Rachel said, "It's nice to remember being loved sometimes."

"How did you know you could trust him?" Heather asked, "How did you know he really loved you?"

"Do you doubt Cody loves you?"

"No one else ever has," Heather said softly.

"Not even your mama?"

"Mama was stupid," Heather said with a venom that Rachel was pretty sure was secondhand, "She was a stupid whore. I'll end up just like her too if I don't watch it."

Rachel's heart nearly broke from the girl's words which were certainly not her own.

"Heather, I don't think there's any chance at all of you being a whore and you are far from a stupid girl," Rachel assured her, "Did Cody tell you he loves you?"

Heather nodded.

"How do you feel about him?"

"I love him," Heather said, "He, well, he…"

Her voice trailed as the blush rose to her cheeks and Rachel had half a mind of what he had done.

"I expected better from him," Rachel growled, "Taking your girlhood so soon after meeting you."

"Taking what?" Heather asked and then understood, "Oh no, he didn't do that. But he touches me and kisses me and I've never felt like that before. I feel like I am special and beautiful and he's so gentle with me like I might break or something."

"You are special and beautiful, sweetie," Rachel said glad that at least Cody was making her feel those things but still a little disappointed at how fast he was moving. No wonder he had been avoiding her lately. "You know I could help you make a new dress and I'm sure we could make it so you'd see it yourself. Maybe you could even go to the dance with Cody. I'm sure every other boy there would be jealous."

"I don't think I could," Heather rushed to say, "My uncle would never let me."

Rachel didn't like the tone of the girl's voice and let that line of talk drop.

"Well, you are a pretty girl."

"Not like you," Heather countered, "You're beautiful."

"You're sweet but I think you're every bit as pretty, just in a different way," Rachel told her, "I'm actually sort of proud of Cody. Normally he wouldn't take note of beauty like yours. I'm glad he did this time. I like you."

"How is Addie doing in class?" Heather asked feeling the need to change the subject from herself.

"She's wonderful little girl," Rachel answered, "I was concerned for her making enough progress with her reading and then all of a sudden she was doing so much better. I asked her about it and she said you were helping her. The boys I suppose will do alright. Addie's a very smart girl though. She doesn't get much encouragement except from you, does she?"

"Uncle Martin gets mad a lot," Heather confided, "Addie looks like Aunt Etheline. I think it makes him sad to look at her so he tries not to."

"He gets mad at her?"

"Not really," Heather said, "Just generally mad, and I think a little sad too."

There was silence between them for a few minutes and finally Heather found the courage to speak.

"Do you think Billy really loves me like he says?" she asked, "He says things like we could get married and I just don't know. How did you know your husband loved you?"

Rachel smiled remembering her Henry.

"His tender fingers when he touched my face and the little catch in his voice when he told me he loved me like he was scared of the notion but too certain to keep it quiet. The way his eyes would look into me like he could see every hurt and every joy I'd ever known."

"And how did you know you loved him back?"

"I knew almost immediately when I looked in his eyes and saw my future," Rachel said almost dreamily before shaking her head and returning from her memories to look into Heather's uncertain eyes. Cody was right, they were captivating. Rachel slowly saw happiness glow into those eyes.

"Thank you, Rachel," Heather smiled at her. The two women looked toward the school and saw Cody standing at the door waving them toward him.

"I don't think it's me he really wants to go to him," Rachel said, "It's nice here in the shade. Just remind him to grab my things before he comes out."

"I will," Heather agreed, "And thank you again."

Rachel watched the girl run toward the school that Cody had just disappeared into.

Heather tentatively opened the door and peered inside. She was surprised by a hand closing over her wrist and tugging her gently into the building.

"Billy," she said smiling wide at him as he pulled her into the coat closet.

"There's no one here to see, Heather," he whispered, "I just had to kiss you."

Before she could respond, his lips covered hers and his fingers trailed over her cheekbones and around the back of her head to hold her close to him. They parted from each other out of breath.

"One more and I might be able to make it until we meet later," he said to her before covering her mouth with his once more. His mouth worked over her lips which she parted and he took immediate advantage of the admittance that he had been given. When at last their kiss ended Cody held her close for a while delighting in her warm body in his arms.

Heather could feel his heart beating within his muscular chest. When he spoke, his voice sent shivers through her.

"I love you, Heather," he said softly, "Someday we won't have to hide just to share a kiss or two. I promise you that."

* * *

><p><strong>I hope this was up to par...Cody has been being very difficult lately.-J<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: The last section is best read while listening to "Love Song" by Tesla...**

* * *

><p>Cody leaned to kiss Heather again, gently and tenderly but then their kisses became heated and nearly frantic. They broke apart breathless and smiling at each other.<p>

"Tonight then?" Cody asked and Heather could only nod and smile wider at him. Yes tonight she would see him again. She would see her love. Her love whose clear blue eyes burned with desire for her, her love who spoke of forever and marriage and making her safe, her love who held her tightly and touched her gently. Her love and hers alone. She was sure of that now. She knew that no matter what happened tonight, he would still love her when the sun rose tomorrow.

Cody looked at Heather and saw her smiling like she had a secret.

"What?" he asked smiling at her.

"I just really love you," she replied, "I'll see you tonight."

"Nothing could keep me away," he told her. He just had to get her into his arms, feel her flesh under his fingers and her hands on him.

Heather kissed him one last time before slipping outside, the air cool against her flushed cheeks. She gave a wave toward Rachel and then was off toward home but not really home. It had never been a home. Billy's arms were home, the only one she'd ever known and the only one she'd ever need.

Cody came out of the schoolhouse a few minutes later with Rachel's books and papers and headed toward her. When he reached her, Rachel moved to take her things from his arms.

"I don't make a lady carry her own things when I escort her home, Rachel," he said getting indignant, "What do you take me for?"

Rachel bit her tongue and chose her words wisely.

"I'm not sure what to think of you right now, Cody," she answered, "Heather talks how gentle you are when you touch her but you haven't known each other long enough for that touching—and at her age besides."

"We're in love, Rachel," he protested feeling hurt that she would think he hadn't been a gentleman with Heather, "I aim to marry her. And besides, she could've said no. I would've stopped. I never want to hurt her."

"Did it ever occur to you that a girl like Heather has never been allowed to say no?"

"I told her she could and she even did sort of once," he said, "She was afraid and I stopped and we talked so she wouldn't be scared."

"What exactly were you doing to make her scared?"

"Just kissing."

Rachel raised her eyebrows at him.

"Well, it probably had to do with where I was kissing her," he confessed as the color rose into his cheeks, "But most women like that and she did too once she knew I wasn't going to hurt her."

"I see," Rachel said understanding that Cody was at least seeing to Heather's enjoyment quite well. "Just make sure you never do hurt her."

"Rachel, she's been hurt enough," he told her, "I couldn't bear it if I was the cause of more hurt."

He had wanted to ask her something but now was wondering if it was the right time or if she was the right person to ask but then she was here and he needed to ask a woman so he braved it.

"I had a question for you Rachel," he ventured, "It's kind of important."

Rachel wanted to be upset with him but his feelings were honest toward the girl and maybe this was just finally her wild child settling down. She stopped walking and put a hand on his shoulder.

"What's the question?"

"It's kind of personal and I wouldn't ask but I really need to know and-"

"Just ask, Cody," she half laughed and then braced herself because obviously he needed to ask her something about her personal and romantic life.

"Did it hurt the first time you, uh, you was, well, I mean when you first…"

He ran his hand through his hair and just stared at her helplessly hoping she understood.

"Cody, I went easy on you because Heather said you hadn't done that but I will tear you apart if you start talking about claiming that girl's innocence."

"Aww Rachel, you encouraged Lou and Kid," he argued, "Sent them along with a wink and a fancy nightgown for Lou."

"They'd been together for quite a while at that point," she said, "It was right to take that next step. And besides, she wasn't fifteen years old. What are you even thinking?"

"I told you I love her," he said and he was losing patience, "The only reason I asked is that I don't want to hurt her. And I ain't claiming nothing. It's going to have to be offered. You really hate me right now, don't you? I'm trying here, Rachel. I'm trying to make her see she's worth something. I want her to know she can be loved and she don't got to live like she does. Yeah things get close with us sometimes but I want to build her up, make her feel better about herself. Don't you see that?"

Rachel felt badly and grabbed his arm before he could stalk away.

"I'm sorry Cody," I just know how easy it is to get swept into the feelings of youth and not thinking about the consequences. There are consequences you know. You'd have to marry her or her reputation would be ruined. Not everyone still finds someone who wants them after…"

Her voice trailed away as she stared into space knowing good and well what could become of a woman who had given her virginity too freely and how very lucky she had been to find a man like Henry who hadn't cared about her past but only their future. Then she shook her head and looked him in the eye again.

"She could also end up with child."

"I know how babies are made, Rachel," he said, "I ain't planning on running away. I want to marry her soon. If she was to find herself expecting we'd probably be hitched before she even knew she was carrying."

"Well how about that," Rachel said smiling, "You went and turned into a man—and a good one at that—while my back was turned."

"So can you help me or not?"

Rachel remembered his initial question and smiled at him. She still wasn't sure about this but then the girl was nearly sixteen and he wasn't that much older.

"Come in the house and help me start supper and we'll talk."

* * *

><p>Heather sat nervously for a while and then paced nervously for a while and then returned to sitting. She had never had a real beau before. Well there was Joe Watkins but they'd been six or seven years old and all he ever did was kiss her cheek and carry her books for her when he walked her home from school. Joe had been a shy sort and maybe that's why she liked him so much. Heather took pains to not be noticed. Her dresses were always worn and shabby. Mama never had much money left once they paid the rent. Food was sometimes scarce and money for cloth was a luxury they mostly could not afford.<p>

Heather didn't mind as much as long as she could stay out of the notice of the other girls. There were always those girls who had the nicest things and while Heather would have liked a nice dress, she didn't begrudge those girls their ruffles and lace and pretty ribbons in their hair. Her own braids were tied in yarn. What she minded was that even with all the nice things those girls had and even with how pretty they already were they still tried to make themselves look more important by pointing out what some others didn't have. Then the boys would say the worst things about her too. But if she stayed quiet and out of the way no one noticed and no one said a word.

Except for Joe who saw her but saw a friend. His family wasn't wealthy either and he never had much. He wasn't good at games like some of the other boys and he was terribly shy and sometimes even spoke with a bit of a stammer. No one else had the patience to listen to Joe but he never said an unkind word and Heather decided that was worth hearing. Most boys her age at that time she knew thought girls were nothing they wanted any part of but Joe didn't have any other friends so he didn't care if the other boys thought he was strange. One day he handed her books to her outside her mama's house and then he leaned forward and kissed her cheek. It was the last kiss from a boy she would get until Billy kissed her tears away on that misty night.

Leaning against the oak tree her hand drifted unconsciously to her cheek where sometimes she could still feel that sweet, innocent kiss. The kisses she and Billy shared were usually not innocent but then sometimes they were. Sometimes when he kissed her she knew it was just to comfort her, to show her a simple kindness. But every time he kissed her she felt loved. She knew she was really loved like she hadn't been in so long. Her mama had been sweet to her when she wasn't wore out from trying to figure out how to support them and before the men started coming around. The men helped the money situation but the rest of Heather's world crumbled. There were no more picnics and no more woven flower crowns. And soon there was no more mama either.

Heather sometimes said ugly things about her mama but it killed her a little every time she did. Her mama was kind and fun and made up songs to sing to her and told her she was beautiful and her eyes were like the new spring buds on a maple tree. Uncle Martin said her mama was a stupid whore and she knew there was some truth to the stupid. Her mama could read and things like that but she had fallen for the first boy who said he loved her. He did love her but she never met another person he knew in the world. She knew nothing of him. He tried to rob a bank and ended up in prison. He died there too from what Heather knew. Her mama tried so hard to support them. She took in wash and mending and cooked and cleaned houses. It wasn't much but they got by. There was always food on the table and a roof over their heads. Heather always had clothes on her back even if those clothes were the old outgrown ones of the children of the families her mother cleaned and cooked for. She didn't really care as long as she could avoid the snotty girls. Every time her mama would bring her a new dress, even if it was a little worn or didn't fit quite right, it was wonderful for Heather. It was newer than what she had and that made it fun.

Her mama used to tell her stories where she was a princess in disguise and someday a prince would find her and he would be able to see that she was not what she appeared. He would love her and take care of her and take her away to his castle where she could live happily ever after. Heather was no child anymore and she knew she was not a princess and she knew Billy was not a prince and there would be no castle but she was better than she'd been treated, Billy was a good man and maybe someday they would have a place of their own and it would be just as good as a palace to her. Billy treated her like a princess anyway and that was as good as being one.

Heather stared into the darkness again feeling the butterflies swarming in her stomach. She had made decisions that day and she knew she had to be strong and not back out but she was very nervous and if he was much longer in coming she might just lose her nerve.

* * *

><p>After supper at the bunkhouse, Lou slipped quietly out the door and found Cody staring into the corral at nothing at all. She walked up and leaned her elbows on the top rail.<p>

"Cody," Lou said tentatively, "I feel bad about how it's been between us the last few days. Can we start over with this?"

"What do you mean 'start over'?"

"Oh I don't know," she said frustrated, "I want to know you're happy. I want my friend to not glare at me. Maybe we can talk about her. We used to talk."

"I love her and she makes me happy," Cody said softening to Lou, "I don't know what else you want to know."

"I see she makes you happy and I don't want you to take that the wrong way 'cause I don't mean nothing bad about her by it," Lou told him, "But something upsets you too and I wish you'd tell me. Maybe I could help."

"Give me some time," Cody said thinking how nice it would be if he knew what he was up against and could tell his makeshift family and they could figure out a way to help Heather together. But right then he was nearly as in the dark as the rest of them. "Please, Lou. Just a little more time."

Lou nodded and later that night when Cody got up and quickly dressed, no one followed him out of the bunkhouse.

* * *

><p>Heather wasn't sure how long she'd been waiting for Billy but it had been a while. Of course she knew that where he lived he had to wait longer for the others to fall asleep. She only had to wait for Uncle Martin to get drunk and fall into bed which never took long at all and the others were children who had to go to bed early. This time of year she could leave nearly any time after dark. She hadn't questioned at first that Billy would come. She had faith in how he loved her but now it had been so long, she thought, that perhaps he didn't want to see her as badly as she thought or perhaps he had been delayed for some other reason and still wasn't coming. Just when she thought to despair and start to consider her options she saw the silhouette of a rider and horse ambling toward her. In their relatively short time together she had memorized everything about him including how he sat in a saddle. Billy was here at last.<p>

Heather's heart was beating nearly out of her chest. She wasn't sure at all how to handle this or what to do first. Billy closed the distance between them after securing his horse and pulled her into a tight embrace. His strong arms around her gave her a strength and courage she had never known. She could tell him anything. She could even stand up to Uncle Martin right then if she had to. She clung to him a while inhaling his rugged scent and becoming emboldened. He pulled back and bent his head to kiss her but paused when she spoke.

"I want to talk to you."

Cody pulled her toward the tree and as he sat leaning against its sizable trunk he held her to him.

"What did you need to talk about?" he asked as she nuzzled her head into his chest. He tried not to sound disappointed. He had been thinking about her full, kissable lips and running his fingers through her long hair the entire ride over. But he'd been trying to get her to talk to him more so he really needed to listen if she was finally ready to talk.

She straightened up to look him in the face. He tried to read her, tried to see what she might be hiding but it was of no use.

"My birthday," she said, "It's only a week away now so we don't have much time."

"You are this serious talking about your birthday?" he asked incredulously, "You look like it's a funeral you are planning and not a birthday. You'll be sixteen. I'm looking forward to it 'cause it'll get a lot of people off my back about you. You'll be a proper courting and marrying age then."

"I'll be getting married then," she said softly, sadly.

Cody just stared at her. He had talked of marriage but hadn't formally proposed though he knew with what they would soon do, whether it was tonight or another night, that he would have to wed her quickly.

"I can do that," he said recovering, "I'm sure I can arrange the church or at least Teaspoon. Rachel might not be happy about how little time there is for cooking but she'll get over it."

"Billy, you don't understand," she said bringing his attention back to her, "It's been arranged for nearly two years now. I have to get married when I turn sixteen."

"Arranged?" he asked for clarification, "Were you asked about this? Do you love the man you are to marry?"

"No," she said and he knew it answered both questions, "I love you."

"Your uncle's making you get married, ain't he?"

She only nodded sadly at him. There was anger in his voice. She knew he would not want her once he knew this. She was grateful she hadn't told him anything else. A man like Billy wouldn't want someone from a family like hers.

"Who is it?" Cody fumed, "Who is it you're supposed to marry?"

"I can't tell you," she squeaked. She did not understand his mood exactly but she could feel the anger rolling off of him nearly knocking her backward with its force.

He turned suddenly toward her startling her and took her face in his hands.

"Please," he begged, "You have to tell me. I have to know what I am up against. Because well, because…"

His voice trailed as he shifted to one knee before her.

"Because I want to marry you and if you say yes then I will marry you. Please say yes, Heather."

Heather looked into his eyes and knew he was sincere. It seemed wrong to be promised to another and accepting this but then it felt so very right as well.

"Yes," she said smiling.

He kissed her quickly and then his eyes stared right into her.

"Now I have to know who out there thinks he's got claim to my fiancée."

"No, Billy," she pleaded, "I don't want to. Can't we just get married and pretend that nothing else happened?"

"I'm sorry but if some man has been waiting for you for nearly two years then he's going to be mighty upset when some other guy marries you. Besides I want to know what kind of man lays claim to a girl that young."

"Uncle Martin," she whispered and Cody wasn't sure he heard her right.

"What did you say?"

"Uncle Martin," she repeated louder. That was it. He would take back the proposal. She was on her own and in a week's time she would have to marry her uncle. She was nearly sick at the thought.

"I'll kill him," Cody growled heading for his Hawken.

"Billy, please just stay with me," she begged.

"I can't," he spat, "I let it slide when he kicked you out of the house because you asked me to. I let it go that I don't think you eat enough and I know you work too hard. This I cannot let go."

He began to stomp off until she called to him one last time.

"I told you Heather, I-"

He had turned to her and was about to tell her he couldn't stay right then, that a man just has to do what a man has to do but what he saw stopped him in his tracks. She had only been wearing her nightshift before and now it was in a heap at her feet. Her hair that had been twisted into a braid was hanging loose about her shoulders, cascading down her back, brushing against her backside. He dropped the rifle and strode back to her tugging his shirt over his head as he went, not even wanting to bother with unbuttoning it.

Heather had been desperate to bring him back to her. She needed his touch, his kiss and for him to not be hanged for murder. She needed him. The sight of her nude body did all she wanted it to as he came toward her bare-chested, eyes filled with lust and with the breeze lightly stirring his long blonde hair. She had wanted him before but now her want had become an insistent aching need. He reached her and lightly stroked her cheek sending shivers through her body. Heather could not wait a moment longer and pulled his head to hers in a kiss that threatened to melt them both where they stood. Once she felt Billy's hands tangling into her hair holding her face to his, she dropped her hands to his pants and began to unfasten them. She needed more than anything to feel his flesh against hers and he must have needed it too from how he sighed when she pushed his pants over his hips and pressed herself to him.

Cody could not believe that Heather had been so bold and yet nothing could have made his desire of her greater. That desire was becoming a near painful problem trapped in his pants until she fixed that and then pressed her nakedness to him causing his need to intensify. He lifted her and then lowered her to the ground before stepping out of his pants and settling next to her. He kissed her jaw and nibbled at her ear, her neck. She moaned against him and then pulled him onto her. He felt her legs part under him and then her hand wrapped around his erection pulling it toward her entrance.

"Are you sure?" he asked and then kicked himself for it.

"I need you, Billy," she panted, "All of you."

Heather was already being transported to some other state of being at the very thought of truly making love to Billy. When he responded by slipping a finger inside her she was startled but then it felt so good.

Cody couldn't believe how tight she was around just a single finger and it made him even harder to think how tight she would be around his growing length. She was so wet and rocked her hips against him. He decided she was ready and withdrew the digit to a disappointed whimper from the woman beneath him. He kissed her soundly as he positioned himself to enter her and then watched her face in the moonlight as he pushed into her. Pausing when he saw her brow furrow and the sharp intake of air, he reached between them to rub his thumb over the hardened cluster of nerves. Once she was writhing and moaning from his ministrations he pushed past her maidenhead until he was fully encased within her.

When Billy started to enter her, Heather nearly stopped him. His finger was enough of an intrusion although that felt good but his erection was so much bigger and it started to hurt. But then Billy touched her where he knew she would feel such pleasure that she'd be able to feel little else. Still when he pushed the rest of the way into her she could not stifle the small cry of pain that escaped her and it wasn't as much pain as surprise really. Though it did hurt, like a burning. But then he stopped again and just stayed very still.

Cody kissed her gently.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded biting her lip. He could feel her tensed beneath him.

"It'll help if you relax," he whispered, "Then let me know when I can continue."

Heather wasn't sure about this anymore. This hurt more than she thought it would and he wanted to do more. But then there was a stirring deep within her and she knew it needed to be acknowledged.

"Relax," he whispered again, "Just relax."

Heather took a breath and released it and once she let go of the tension in her body she realized how good he felt inside her.

"I'm okay," she said nodding to him.

Cody began to move slowly in and out of her. He tried to move slowly but soon his own need was urging him frantically on. Heather had found leverage digging her heels into the ground under them and allowing her to meet his every thrust. Cody could see her breath coming faster and faster.

Heather wanted to speak, wanted to tell him how good it felt how she wanted him deeper into her but no words came out, just sounds and half syllables. He was moving even faster and harder in and out of her now and she almost thought she couldn't breathe. She could feel the pleasure mounting inside her has he always was able to make happen and soon she was falling over that edge into babbling, euphoric oblivion. Heather only vaguely was aware of Billy's body stiffening against her as his final thrusts drove deeper into her than she thought possible.

Cody rolled off of her and to her side pulling her close to him. She was trembling in his arms and he released her only long enough to grab a blanket and cover them with it. He held her tight to him and stroked and kissed her hair.

* * *

><p><strong>So now you know some of Heather's story...she still has more secrets but now she also has true love to see her through everything. Oh and I had my own Joe Watkins. I'm glad Heather did too. Everyone needs a friend.-J<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

"Are you okay, honey?" Cody whispered softly into Heather's hair.

"I think so," she whispered back. It had hurt much more than she expected but it had felt so good too and she knew that Billy had done his best to minimize the pain. He had been so careful and tender with her and now was just holding her close. She fought the tears that came with the wave of emotion that went with how it felt to be so very loved.

Cody heard the waver in her voice and held her tighter kissing the top of her head. She was still trembling but was starting to relax some. Once she stilled he left her only a moment and came back with a canteen and a cloth. He pulled back the blanket not noticing the wary look Heather shot him when he did. The light wasn't great but he could see the darker smears against the pale skin of her upper thighs. He soaked the cloth in water from the canteen and began gently wiping away every trace of blood he could see.

Heather hoped when he pulled the blanket back that he wasn't planning on sticking it in her again. She just wasn't ready for that yet but instead he began to clean her. She tensed initially at the cool water on the cloth but relaxed when it felt so good against the places where she was sore.

Cody wiped himself down as well but not nearly as thoroughly as he had her and then settled back next to her under the blanket puller her tight to him.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said stroking her long brown hair, "You've already known too much pain."

"It wasn't so bad," she told him, "It felt good too."

"Honey, I wish you wouldn't brush things like that away. You have someone who cares for your now, someone who'll take care of you when you're hurt or sad or anything."

"It did hurt," she confessed, "More than I thought it would. You were so gentle to me though. It would have been much worse with him."

"He's never going to get his hands on you," Cody swore, "I have a ride tomorrow and I won't be back until late morning the day after. That's Saturday. Anyway once I get cleaned up I'll come over. We'll tell your uncle together and you can leave."

"But Billy," she said sounding panicked, "What about the children? And where will I go anyway?"

"Rachel's taken quite a liking to you," he answered, "I'm sure she wouldn't mind taking you in for a while. And those kids aren't yours."

In the soft moonlight Cody could see large drops making their way down her cheeks.

"I thought it would make you happy to know you could leave," he said confused, "Why are you crying?"

"I do want to leave, Billy," she insisted, "I hate it there. But poor Addie. No one even notices her but me. No one will help her with her schooling. She won't have a chance."

It hadn't occurred to Cody that perhaps she had developed an affection for any of the children. His face softened to her.

"My sweet girl," he said lightly stroking her cheek wiping away her tears as he did, "I don't have all the answers but I'll find them. I promise I will."

"Then I can leave and we'll get married, right Billy?"

"Nothing's going to stop me from making you Mrs. Heather Cody."

She sighed against his chest. Heather just knew Billy would somehow figure something out. He would make everything alright and they would be together forever. Maybe even happily ever after like Mama's stories.

The time to part came too soon for the young lovers.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked once she was again in her nightshift.

"I'm sure," she replied smiling up at him, "I'll see you Saturday?"

"I promise," he told her, "I just wish we didn't have to wait. I hate sending you back there, even for a day."

* * *

><p>The whole time Cody was on his run he thought of Heather. He thought of the smile offered more frequently and more freely the more time he could spend with her. He thought of her lovely eyes that first drew him to her. Cody knew that she still concealed secrets but he loved her and she loved him. Surely that would be enough to overcome anything that may still try to stand in their way. He was already working on ways to get her away from her uncle. He knew he only had a week left and already had spoken briefly to Teaspoon before he had left on the run asking the older man's help both as marshal and mentor. He would marry Heather and they would face together anything that life threw at them.<p>

At night he chose to make camp by himself instead of staying at another station. Alone in the darkness as he freed himself from his pants and took hold, he thought of Heather's hands on him, of how soft her skin was beneath her fingers, the noises she made in pleasure, how tight she had felt around him, how hot, how wet.

* * *

><p>The remaining riders were seated around the table Saturday morning enjoying their breakfast when they heard commotion outside. They all filed out onto the porch to see what was happening grabbing their guns as they went. What they found was Martin Lepley climbing down from his horse and yelling at the top of their lungs.<p>

"Where the hell are you girl?"

He spotted the young men and turned his venom to them.

"Where is she? And where's that blonde fella?" he hollered, "I know she's with him."

"He's not here," Kid informed the man, "He's on a run. Has been since yesterday."

"Maybe I just take a look around," Martin Lepley yelled back, "Maybe I don't believe they ain't here."

"And maybe I shoot you for trespassing," Jimmy growled cocking one of his pistols aimed squarely at the man's chest, "Or maybe you just go on home and leave us in peace. It's really your choice how this goes."

The man knew he was outmatched. He had his gun drawn but knew he was staring down Wild Bill Hickok so if he even tried to aim his weapon, he would be shot before he could raise it half way. He quickly holstered his gun, climbed into his saddle and rode off.

"You see that girl," he yelled as he rode away, "You tell her to get on home. The young 'uns need tending."

"Like hell I will," Jimmy muttered under his breath.

Jimmy had helped Cody saddle his horse the day before and knew what that man wanted with her. It made his blood boil. More than anger though he was worried. Heather was missing and he couldn't wait around for Cody to get back. They had to look for her. He looked next to him to find Lou right there.

"You think she ran away?"

"Yeah I do," he answered, "She wouldn't've without a real good reason though."

"Where do you think she went?"

"They have a few places they meet," Jimmy said realizing he had a full audience by then, "I know she's not at the oak tree because Lepley would've ridden right by her when he came here. She might be at the schoolhouse or she'll be around here trying to be close to Cody. She knows he's not due back for a while but he's still her protector."

Jimmy looked at the people around him. None of them would calm her much if she was alone and frightened as he supposed she was.

"Lou, I need you to go to the school but if you find her she's going to be awful scared. Maybe if you let her in on your secret she'd feel better. She might not even be there."

"Sure Jimmy," Lou said glad for something to do, "She's practically family after all."

They all watched Lou scamper off toward the school. Jimmy looked at the rest.

"If she's not there I figure she's here somewhere. She doesn't know too many other places to be. Fan out and look but if you find her be real careful. She's scared, for all we know she might be hurt and if she runs off again she could end up in real trouble. I don't want to tell Cody we scared her worse or let her get hurt, do you?"

The others shuffled their feet and headed off to look for signs of Heather. It wasn't long before Buck called Jimmy over to the door of the barn.

"A woman's prints," he said pointing at the dirt, "Going in and none coming out. She's in there. I'm sure of it."

Jimmy nodded debating who to send in for her. Buck could be very gentle and he'd trust him with anyone he cared about and knew Cody would too but Heather didn't know any of them and he worried what her reaction would be to Buck's skin. He knew what was most objectionable about himself and quickly unstrapped them and handed them off to Buck. Then he slowly walked into the barn and stood a minute while his eyes adjusted to less light. Walking around carefully, he looked for her. He quickly determined that she must be in the hayloft and began to slowly climb the ladder talking all the while.

"Heather," he said gently, "I know you're up here. It's okay. I'm a friend of Cody's. I ain't going to hurt you. We already run that uncle of yours off. Just stay right where you are and I promise everything will be just fine. I expect Cody shortly. He always tries to see how fast he can make this run and knowing he was coming home to see you, he'll make it in even less time."

Finally he was at the top of the ladder and saw her huddled in the corner. One eye was swollen shut and discolored and her face was a mass of welts and small cuts. The shabby faded work dress she wore was torn so that one sleeve was nearly off of it. The neckline hung open and he could see her trying to protect her modesty by holding it closed. He sat down right next to the ladder and called down to Buck.

He saw his friend peek into the barn.

"I need you to grab me one of my shirts and toss it up here."

Buck nodded not knowing the reason for the request but understanding the urgent tone of Jimmy's voice.

"You deserve prettier than a man's shirt but it'll keep you covered at least," he explained to her, "My name's Jimmy by the way. Jimmy Hickok. I know yours is Heather. Right pretty name too."

Jimmy dared to look at her just as she raised her eyes to him.

"Damn," he said reflexively, "He wasn't lying about them eyes. Don't see a color like that very often. Sorry, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable."

He stopped talking when he saw Buck come into the barn and reached out to catch the shirt thrown to him.

"Heather," he said very softly, "I'm going to toss this shirt over by you and then I'm going to turn around so you can let go of your dress and put it on. But you need to talk to me and let me know when you're decent. We're going to have to get you out of this hayloft eventually. I think Rachel's going to want to tend to what that so-called uncle of yours did to you."

He tossed the shirt and turned away. A short while later he heard a tiny voice speak to him.

"Jimmy?"

"Can I turn around, Heather?"

"I need help," she said her voice like a small child's. Jimmy turned and saw for the first time her hands had welts and bruises on them too. Whatever that man had used on her face, she had tried to ward off with her hands. Cody definitely wasn't going to be happy when he got home and saw this.

Jimmy crawled over to where Heather was sitting tight to the corner and sat near her.

"The buttons," she said as if he needed more explanation.

Jimmy nodded and gently took the edges of the shirt and began fastening the buttons as quickly as he could.

"There," he announced as if dealing with a child but then she was so frightened he felt that was almost the right way to handle her. "I think I might have a couple lined up wrong but it'll stay closed. If you hold still just a minute longer I can even roll these sleeves so we can find your hands."

By the time he finished talking he had accomplished that task as well.

"Thank you," she said meekly.

"You're welcome," he replied, "But then you are almost family like Lou said. I guess we have to figure out how to get you down. I'm not sure how you climbed up here with those hands hurting like they must be."

"I don't remember them hurting before."

He nodded at that and knew sometimes when you're still in the stressful moment that you don't notice the pain of an injury but later when you calm down a little you can feel it.

"Still leaves us with a problem," he pointed out, "We need to get you down there somehow."

Heather looked at him warily.

"I could climb down. They don't hurt that bad."

Jimmy shook his head, "I can't abide a woman in pain. I'll need to carry you somehow. Are you still down there, Buck?"

"Right here, Jimmy!"

"Come on over toward the edge with me," Jimmy said, "You trust me, right?"

Heather nodded and slowly followed Jimmy and looked over the edge to the man below.

"That's Buck."

Buck smiled up at them and said, "Nice to finally meet you, Heather."

Heather gave a small wave and looked at Jimmy strangely. Jimmy thought she was perhaps thrown by the color of Buck's skin.

"Finally?"

Jimmy smiled at her.

"We were hearing about you since the day you and Cody bumped into each other in the store."

"I bumped into him," she said, "I'm clumsy."

"If that's true then it's all the more reason to let me help you down."

"But ho-"

"You let me and Buck figure that out," he said smiling at her, "I just know I ain't taking any chances with your safety. Aside from the fact Cody could kill me from outside the range of my pistols; I actually like seeing him this happy."

Jimmy slung his feet over the edge to rest a couple rungs down the ladder. He held his hand out to her.

"Come closer," he urged and she inched closer. "I haven't bitten you yet, have I? Really just come on over to me."

She did and was surprised when Jimmy pulled her onto his lap then looped one arm under her knees and the other around the small of her back before hefting her against his chest.

"Cody's right," Jimmy remarked once he had her cradled to him, "You're too thin. You don't hardly weigh nothing."

Once he was secure of her in his arms he shifted closer to the edge sliding his feet down to the next rung until he was standing leaning backwards against the ladder.

"You alright?" he asked and then waited for her nod before sliding first one foot and then the other to the next rung down. It was a slow process but soon he was low enough on the ladder he could hand her to Buck who gently set her feet on the ground. Jimmy quickly descended the rest of the rungs of the ladder. They all heard the call of 'Rider coming' and Heather looked between the two men in fear.

Jimmy saw her apprehension and smiled at her. "That's probably just your intended getting home."

Still he nodded to Buck to stay with her while he went to check for sure. Jimmy hurried out into the yard and was relieved when, as he had suspected, Cody was riding toward the station. Jimmy took the reins from Cody once he pulled his horse to a stop. Cody was ready to rush off and Jimmy knew he still thought he needed to get himself ready to go see Heather.

"Cody I need to talk to you," Jimmy said.

"Later, Jimmy. I have to get to Heather."

"It's about Heather," Jimmy stated and saw Cody stop. He knew his voice had given away too much.

"What happened, Jimmy?"

"Now don't get that upset, Cody," Jimmy tried sounding soothing. It wasn't working. "I'm going to take you to her but I need you to be ready for it."

"Jimmy, she's not…" Cody's voice trailed away unable to complete his thought.

"No she ain't dead, Cody," Jimmy replied, "She ran away from that uncle of hers and she ran here."

"She's here?" Cody asked excited and then the smile dripped off his face, "Wait a minute. She didn't want to leave until she knew Addie would be someplace better. She wouldn't leave unless she had to. What did that bastard do to her?"

Jimmy had been walking Cody toward the barn door along with the horse.

"Heather," Jimmy called, "It's just your beau."

She slowly stepped out of the barn into the morning sun and dipped her head in an effort to hide the worst of her injuries.

"Heather, look at me honey," Cody said gently as he approached her. Jimmy and Buck both quietly walked away to tend to Cody's horse and also to give him some privacy with Heather.

Heather could not bring herself to look up. It was bad enough that two of Billy's friends had seen what Uncle Martin had done to her. They had been very sweet and gentle to her but for Billy to see her this ugly and for him to know…well, she could not face him at all. Then she felt his finger tender under her chin and his voice was so soft.

"I keep trying to tell you my sweet girl," he nearly cooed, "You can hold your head up. You are beautiful and I love you. You deserve love and you never need to hide from me. I can't ever stop loving you."

He tilted her face up so he could see and sucked in a breath sharply.

"This is my fault," he said suddenly, "I should never have left you there. I sent you right back to him."

He wrapped his arms around her and then froze.

"I ain't hurting you, am I?" he asked, "I don't know where all you're hurt."

"Being held by you could never hurt."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry this one took a while...I got distracted with a different story and then Jimmy wasn't sounding like himself either...silly man. I thought this chapter might end up with some revalations but those will come next as I really had planned all along. The next chapter you see you might want a stuffed animal or small fuzzy creature nearby to hug!-J<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't normally do this but this chapter is very disturbing. I know I warned at the end of the last one but I feel the need again. Please have at the ready something cuddly be it a stuffed toy, a furry critter, a loved one who can sing 'Soft Kitty' to you. I would recommend chocolate or booze but frankly I felt ill when I finished writing so maybe not. I'm sorry.-J**

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><p>Cody wanted to stand there forever holding Heather and knowing that no matter what had happened to her while he was gone, she was safe now. But soon Rachel was there and was directing him to take Heather into the house. He scooped her into his arms and carried her into the spare room and laid her on the bed. Rachel was right behind him with water and cloths for cleaning her wounds.<p>

"I've got it from here, Cody," Rachel said trying to shoo him out so she could see to Heather.

"Billy?" Heather whimpered terrified.

Cody kissed her forehead and turned to Rachel.

"I'm not leaving her," he said.

"Cody, I need to get her out of that dress to see how hurt she is."

"Rachel, I have already seen every inch of her body and I ain't going to be thinking any thoughts like that right now," he said, "She's afraid and she needs me. I'm going to marry her and I'd make one lousy husband if I left her every time she needed me."

He didn't wait for a response. He just started unbuttoning the shirt she had on over her dress.

"This Jimmy's shirt?"

She nodded.

"He let me borrow it because my dress was so torn."

He removed the shirt and then unbuttoned her dress and slid that off of her as well. She stood there in her undergarments and blushed at the thought of the way he had touched her before. She didn't want that now and feared a little that he would never want that again once he saw her.

"Billy," she whispered drawing his head closer to her, "I'm afraid."

"Honey I ain't going to try anything with Rachel sitting right there," he whispered back, "And even if she wasn't, I need to take care of you right now. If you'd feel more comfortable with Rachel seeing to you, I can leave."

"I don't want you to leave," she said still whispering, "You'll want to when you see me."

Tilting her head up with a finger under her chin, Cody gave her his biggest and warmest smile.

"I never want to leave you, Heather. Nothing that sick bastard did is going to change that. Have a little faith in me."

She gave him a small smile and allowed him to remove her underpinnings and then cringed at the sharp intake of air from him when he saw the bruises on her body. They were all fresh and angry. It seems she had told the truth when she said the man had never laid a land on her before. There were no faded bruises or old injuries to be seen.

Heather stood before him naked and studying him for reaction. He looked her over and took special notice of the bruises near the tops of her legs and across her buttocks. Those were handprints.

Cody memorized every injury done to her thin form and then reached for the nightgown Rachel offered.

"Looks to be just bruises here," he said, "Not much I can do about those."

He got Heather settled into the bed so that he could see to the cuts on her face and hands.

"What happened?" he asked not being able to hold back the question any longer.

She looked toward where Rachel sat just a few feet away and then brought his head closer to hers.

"I can't with her here," she whispered almost inaudibly, "She's a lady."

Cody knew that Rachel would probably understand things far better than Heather would think but he understood she was only just learning to trust and he wasn't going to push it. He patted her hand and then walked over to where Rachel was sitting.

"Rachel," he said, "Is there anything we can get her to eat? I don't think she's eaten today and she can't afford to miss any meals."

Rachel could see this was a way to get her out of the room but she also knew the truth of Cody's words. She had been able to count the poor girl's ribs as she had stood there unclothed. So she nodded and left the room with a look that said he'd better not try to do anything but see to the girl's injuries. Cody shot her back a look that said he loved her too much to think of anything else.

Once Rachel was out of the room, Cody looked back to Heather. He dipped a cloth in the basin of water Rachel had brought and began to clean the smeared blood away from one of the small cuts on her face.

"Now tell me what happened," he said gently, "You can't hide this all inside you. It ain't healthy."

Heather drew a shaky breath and closed her eyes at the comfort that came from Billy gently wiping clean the injuries to her face. He hadn't been repulsed by the marks on her body and now only showed her concern. She thought no one would care for her like this again once Mama died. He didn't love her the same as Mama but he loved her as much.

"He found out," she said at last, "About us."

"How could he?" Cody asked, "We were so careful. No one saw us together."

"He checks," she said so softly he nearly had to have her repeat it not that hearing the words made things any clearer to him.

"I don't understand. What does he check?"

There was no easy way to tell him of her shame except to relate what had been happening since roughly a month after Aunt Etheline had died. Her uncle had informed her that once she reached sixteen she'd marry him and in the meantime she'd take on the household duties of a wife. Often he would remind her that she was lucky she was so homely or he might be tempted to extract other wifely duties from her as well. Heather had chances to make a newer dress and she knew ways she could have made the one she wore more flattering but as long as he thought her figureless and plain then she would at least have until her sixteenth birthday before he would take her. She never counted on meeting Billy or anyone else who would see through the shabby dress and severe hair style. She didn't feel as though Billy had taken her or taken anything from her. She had offered and he had accepted and given as much of himself to her in return.

Once he determined that he would eventually marry her, Uncle Martin had decided that she was his property and he could inspect what was his whenever he wanted. Sometimes she would go a week or maybe even more before the humiliation but sometimes he would do this more than once a week. She hadn't lied to Billy; he never touched her. But then he didn't need to. He always had his belt undone, a reminder of how fast he could have his pants off and take her if he chose and also a reminder of how little it would take to pull the leather strap free and beat her with it as she had seen him do to the other children from time to time. There was also the stick. It was not a switch as he would make the boys cut and bring him for their punishments but a small branch ever at the ready. There was no disobeying Uncle Martin.

"Girl!" he would yell his voice thick with whiskey, "Get in here girl!"

The children were usually either in bed already or, if it was earlier in the day, off doing their chores. There was no doubt who he was calling. The only other girl was Addie and he even called her by her name when he acknowledged her at all. Heather had ceased to have a name once Aunt Etheline died, or mostly so. The only other human before Billy who still used her name was Addie and she only used it when out of earshot of her father.

There was no choice but to shuffle into the bedroom where her uncle stood waiting for her. In the beginning he had instructed her what to do but after a while she knew what was expected. She would reach up her skirts and tug off her pantaloons. Then she would sit on the edge of the bed while her uncle took the lantern off of the table next to the bed. Once he stood again in front of her she would, with no emotion on her face for he seemed to feed off of it, lay back allowing her skirts to fall around her waist. At first she would try to avert her head, even tried to stare out the window wishing to maybe be one of the birds she could see flying free in the distance but eventually she just stared at the ceiling.

"Spread 'em," he would say every time, even if she already was. Her feet would be apart on the edge of the mattress, her knees falling open and her own fingers would separate her folds allowing him a clear view. "Got to make sure you're still intact, girl."

Sometimes that would be the end. He would see what he needed to and would let her go on but the closer it got to her birthday this year the more time he would spend looking at her and talking to her.

"Look how tiny and tight it is in there," he would sneer at her reaching into his pants and pulling free his erection. "Just wait, girl. I'll make you scream."

All the while he spoke he would pump his hand up and down until he reached his end. Heather wouldn't breathe the entire time. There was always that chance that he would decide not to wait, decide that she wasn't as ugly as he had said, decide that he didn't care if she was ugly.

Now that she thought about it, Billy was even bigger but somehow she was never afraid of him when he was hard and somehow she knew it would have hurt worse if her first time had been with her uncle.

"He checked you last night?" Cody interrupted trying to keep to fact finding and not thinking about how he felt about any of the facts he was finding.

"He wanted to," she whispered, "I knew he would know now. I'm not intact anymore. He would beat me when he saw and he would beat me if I refused."

"Girl!"

She heard the call and walked only as far as the doorway and stood there stock still.

"What? Did you forget all your training, girl?" Uncle Martin asked her, "Do I have to start all over again? One more week left and I got a right to see what I'm getting. I put a lot into you, girl. You wouldn't be worth a damn to no one if not for me."

The anger welled up inside her. Billy was a good person. He was honest and hard working and he said she was worth everything. He said she deserved better.

"You didn't give me anything," she said softly but then gained steam, "What do I have? Not enough to eat, a bed I'm not even allowed to sleep in most nights? I'm not coming in today. I ain't letting you see. It ain't yours, it's mine!"

Her head rocked back as the back of his hand connected with the side of her face.

"Now see what you made me do," he spat at her, "Get in here and show it to me and maybe I'll just take what I want. It'd serve you right for your attitude."

"No."

She did not yell the word. She merely stared into him refusing. If he thought beating her was the answer, he was going to have to do it. A threat wasn't going to get her to submit to him anymore.

"You afraid what I'm going to find?"

"I know what you would find," she said holding her head high and her eyes locked onto his, "You will find that I've been with someone."

As frightened as she was of how he would react and the knowledge that he might just kill her, there was a liberation to be found in saying the words. In knowing that if she belonged to anyone at all that it wasn't this man who took out his loneliness on her, who blamed her for things beyond her control.

"You are just a stupid whore like your ma, ain't you?"

"I ain't a whore," she said defiantly, "He's a good man. He's got a good honest job and he loves me. I'm going to marry him, not you!"

"You're damn straight you ain't marrying me now that you let some other man have his way with you," he growled at her quickly pulling his belt free, "But he's going to know what you are when he sees you next. He's going to know how you betrayed me. See if he still wants you then."

She still stood tall until the buckle swung and clipped her near her eye. Heather turned to see him panting at her holding the belt in one hand and the stick in the other. He swung the belt at her again but she was able to raise her hand to stop it leaving a welt where it struck her hand. The stick crashed onto her back doubling her forward onto her hands and knees. Her hair came loose from the severe bun and Martin took advantage grabbing a hold and shoving her face first into the wall. The hand not pressing her head into the wall worked up under her skirts tearing her pantaloons away.

Her face fell into her wounded hands. She could tell him no more. It was too shameful. She cried less from the memory of what had happened than the knowledge that it would cost her every good thing she had.

"Heather," Cody said fighting the anger in him at what he was beginning to fear had happened. "Honey, what did he do to you?"

"I can't."

"I ain't mad at you," he assured her hugging her head to his chest and stroking her hair, "You can tell me."

"He…he said it-it's how…no, I can't. Billy it's just too terrible. He said I was a stupid whore like Mama and I should get used to being treated like one."

"A whore?" he knew he was doing a terrible job of concealing his anger toward her uncle and knew she was probably thinking he was mad at her. "He forced himself on you, didn't he? It's not your fault."

She nodded through her tears.

"Like a whore."

"I still don't know what you mean 'like a whore'."

"H-he said he didn't want to risk planting his seed in the likes of me," she whispered fighting her shame. He had a right to know and to leave if he found her too disgusting. "I didn't know it could go there. I didn't know anyone did that. It hurt so bad Billy. I screamed but he wouldn't stop and he kept hitting me with the belt. I passed out, I guess."

Finally Cody understood what had been done and just held her tighter. He kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair while she recessed back into her memories from the night before.

Hours later she woke where she had slumped against the wall. She knew there was blood on the floor but she just left it. Everyone was asleep or so she thought. She moved quietly to her room and pulled out an extra pair of pantaloons and grabbed a cleaning cloth on her way out. Addie met her at the door.

"Heather," the little girl said nearly breaking Heather's heart and her resolve all at once. "Are you leaving?"

"I have to, Addie," Heather said trying not to looking into the girl's big dark eyes, "I'll find a way to get you free too."

"The boys know," Addie told her quietly, "They know that Mr. Cody is sweet on you. Don't let Pa get you again."

"I won't, baby girl," Heather soothed the child kissing her head; "I love you, Addie."

"I love you too, Heather."

Heather sat very still on the bed in Rachel's spare room a few moments before speaking again.

"I cleaned myself up on the way and pulled on a clean pair of under things. I didn't know where else to go. I knew you weren't here right then but I knew you'd get here eventually and Rachel was here and you always talked about how noble and good the others were."

"You did the right thing coming here," Cody said when he could find words. He was conflicted. He wanted to hold Heather tight and never let her go for even a second. He wanted to kill her uncle and more and more he wanted to lose what little he had eaten for breakfast that morning at the very thought that a man entrusted with the care of a child would treat her so and then violate her in such a way.

"I didn't have a lot of options."

Cody shook his head clearing it of every thought but what Heather needed right then.

"You don't need lots of options," he stated earnestly, "I want to be the option. I want to be where you go. I'm sorry Heather. I shouldn't have made you go back to him. I should have brought you here with me and sorted it all out after my ride. Hell, I probably could've gotten almost any of the other guys to take it for me. This is my fault. I knew there'd maybe be consequences to what we did but I never imagined this would be one of 'em."

Heather wasn't sure what she was hearing but it sounded like he still wanted to be with her. She could see Billy working how to say something and make it come out right.

"My mama always told me to find the bright side," he told her sounding anything but bright, "The other guys sometimes get sick of me doing it but it helps. There's not a lot of bright side to what you just told me. I wish you'd told me sooner and I could've got you away from him. He's sick and he had no right treating you like he did. But I got to find something good in this—it's how I keep my mama close even though she's gone now—and I will say at least we're together and you don't have to marry that sorry excuse for an uncle. There ain't nothing standing in our way of getting married and you living a life like you ought to be living."

"You still want to marry me? After what I told you? After what he did to me last night? You want to marry me?"

"You got stuck in a bad situation after your ma died and it sounds like it got a lot worse after your aunt passed," he replied, "But you didn't cause any of that bad situation. You're the same beautiful, amazing woman I fell in love with. If you can forgive me for letting this happen then I guess we got nothing stopping us."

Rachel appeared in the doorway with a plate and a glass of milk. She hadn't heard the whole story but she heard the end and knew there was something terrible that had happened to that girl and that her young man was doing a fine job of helping poor Heather through it. She passed the plate to Cody not even trying to push him aside to take care of Heather herself.

"Wait until you try Rachel's biscuits, Heather," Cody said pasting a smile on his face, "They are one of the legitimate wonders of the world."

"I don't feel much like eating now, Billy," Heather said with her eyes falling half closed, "I'm so tired."

"Honey, I wish you'd eat."

Rachel's hand rested on his shoulder.

"I'll see she eats something when she wakes up," Rachel assured him, "I think she might need sleep more than she needs food. You probably could use some rest yourself."

Cody kissed Heather's forehead and rose from the edge of the bed and walked out. As he passed through the house and toward the front door the swirling emotions rose to greet him. He was on a full stalk by the time he got outside and once at the outer wall of the bunkhouse he couldn't hold it in any longer. He doubled over and emptied his stomach on the ground. Jimmy was standing a ways off and watched Cody with concern.

Once the heaving stopped, Cody took a breath and began pummeling his fists into the wooden boards of the bunkhouse wall. Jimmy ran over and grabbed one of his arms to stop him and had to duck a punch.

"Whoa, Cody," Jimmy said trying to soothe his friend but getting agitated himself at his friend's out of control reaction. Rarely had he seen Cody legitimately angry and never in a state like this.

"Let go of me, Hickok!" Cody yelled, "I'm going to kill him. Get out of my way!"

"I can't let you do that," Jimmy hollered at him.

"You don't know what he did," Cody tried to yell but the fight was leaving him as the hurt overtook him. He had been setting inside holding her hand and hearing those awful things but she could have been taken from him. He could have lost her. It was bad enough what did happen but Lepley could have killed her. "You don't know what he did, Jimmy. You don't know what he did."

There were tears rolling down Cody's face which was still dusty from the trail but no one would ever mention them. None of them did know what Lepley had done but the look on Cody's face and the desperation in his voice told them they wanted to kill the man too.

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><p><strong>Again, I am sorry.-J<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

Jimmy stood there holding Cody up and not really sure what to do. He was starting to figure there was more to what Martin Lepley had done to Heather than what he could see in the wounds on her face and he was getting angry himself about that but couldn't even begin to imagine how that felt for his friend.

"Come on inside, Cody," he said leading his friend into the bunkhouse. Teaspoon followed them in having seen most of the scene played out. One of his boys was hurting and that hurt him. But he had to talk to Cody too. It was important.

Jimmy got Cody to sit down and sat opposite him and just looked for a while at the poor guy. Cody looked younger than Jimmy had ever seen and sometimes it really struck him how young they all were. Maybe Emma was right to try to coddle them a bit when she was there. They weren't old enough, any of them, for the things they took on. Cody's eyes were so wounded and it hurt to look at him and see that spark of humor gone so completely.

"He forced himself on her, didn't he?" Jimmy asked knowing that Cody wasn't going to break the silence. Cody only nodded. He didn't want to add anything else and decided he didn't have to. They didn't need to know how she was violated. It didn't matter really. The act was wrong and the specifics didn't make it more or less wrong.

"He found out about us," Cody said after a minute or two of silent thought, "I shouldn't've left her. I should've had one of you take my run or I should have insisted she run away that night. I left her to him and he found out."

There was no emotion in his voice and his eyes were empty and endless as he spoke. Jimmy was desperate to say something but he couldn't think of a single thing that would comfort his friend so he looked to the man who had taken on the role of father to all of them and implored the man to say something, anything to make things better.

Teaspoon felt old and weary right about then. He had speeches for all sorts of problems his boys had but this was one he wasn't sure he could find a good perspective on. Truth was Cody had told him before leaving on his run that Lepley was planning to marry the girl and Teaspoon was trying to find a way for Cody to get Heather away from the man on his return. Teaspoon was feeling a fair amount of guilt himself for the young lady's predicament. But he knew he still had to say something to the young man.

"Cody, you can't put your focus on things you wish you'd done different," Teaspoon began, "They say hindsight is perfect and it is but you can't go back to change anything anyway. You can torture yourself forever thinking of what you should've done. Ain't none of that going to help that young lady or yourself get moving toward any kind of future."

"So what am I supposed to do, Teaspoon?" Cody asked his anger growing again, "Just pretend it didn't happen? Pretend that she didn't show up here beaten? Pretend that he didn't do that to her?"

"Not at all," the older man answered, "We got to bring Martin Lepley to justice. We got to make sure that your young lady feels safe again. We got to make it so's you two young people can get yourselves hitched and maybe get past this someday. Don't nobody get through life without bad things happening but the bad things don't have to run you."

"I want him dead, Teaspoon," Cody said with a fire reigniting in his eyes.

"I expect that's how most of us are feeling right now," Teaspoon replied, "I ain't even met the girl but don't no man have a right to treat any woman so. Still, we can't just go and kill the man. What he done is against the law but proving it won't be so easy. We're going to have to think of a way to get him to confess."

"You know he ain't going to do that, Teaspoon," Jimmy said wanting nothing more than to ride out with his friend and let either his Colts or Cody's Hawken solve the whole problem. Put Lepley six feet under and that poor girl wouldn't ever have to fear again. He could still feel her frail body trembling in his arms as he carried her down the ladder from the hayloft and it made him furious. Teaspoon was right no woman should be treated so but this wasn't just any woman. She was one of their own. Jimmy complained a fair amount about Cody but they were friends, close as brothers even and seeing Cody so happy about this girl and then seeing her hurt…well his anger went beyond what was done to Heather and all the way to the hurt it was causing poor Cody.

"I don't imagine he would willingly, no," Teaspoon mused, "But if you give me a little time to think on it I might just be able to think of a way."

"Time?" Cody half hollered.

"Yes time," Teaspoon answered, "Heather is here and safe and ain't no one going to let that man nowheres near her. Time we got and I think it's time you need too. Time to calm down a bit and see to the young lady."

"How can I even face her?" Cody asked and Teaspoon's heart broke for the lad, "It's my fault."

"Now son," the older man said gently, "This wasn't your fault any more'n it was hers and you know it wasn't hers, right?"

"Of course I know that!"

"She's going to think it was. Women usually do. She probably thought a lot of things was her fault that weren't. You'll need to set her straight and remind her and yourself while you're at it whose fault it is."

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><p>Heather felt the sun on her face and could see the brightness through her closed eyelids. Panic sprang up inside her, a fear so intense she nearly felt to throw up, she couldn't have slept so late. Her eyes flew open and she tried to sit up but the pain and the foreign surroundings stopped her. All at once the night before and that morning came crashing back to her. She looked around but Billy was nowhere to be seen. There was only the smaller, skinnier boy who rode with Billy and that boy was sewing. Heather furrowed her brow at the boy not sure if she should be frightened. She knew the boy's name was Lou and Billy said the others thought of her like family already but still Lou seemed a peculiar young man and Heather wasn't sure of him at all.<p>

Lou heard Heather wake and turned her eyes up to meet the poor frightened girl. She hadn't wanted to be the one in there when Heather woke. Just the thought of seeing eyes that mirrored Lou's own pain and shame was more than she thought she could bear but Rachel had things to do and it really wouldn't do for someone who'd been through what Heather had to wake up with a man next to her bed or perhaps even worse, alone.

"Hi Heather," Lou said smiling as warmly as she could and wondering again how, out of all the women in town, Cody had fallen for this one. She would have to apologize to him for every time she thought him shallow. "I'm Louise. Are you feeling a little better? Cody said to try to get you to eat if you felt up to it."

"Louise?"

Lou smiled a little, "Yeah, Louise. You can still call me Lou. I just didn't want you to think we'd left you alone with some strange guy you don't know."

Lou got Heather to eat a little bit and get some water as well.

"What are you sewing, Lou?" Heather asked, "Maybe I can help."

"I think you'd better let those hands heal a little before you start thinking of things like that," Lou replied, "The only thing we care about right now is you getting all better and that's going to take rest. But to answer your question, it is a dress and I'm just making some changes to it. Yours is too torn to be fixed but I think I can make this one come close to fitting you. It has a nice sash that should allow us to tighten the waist if I don't get it just right and then make room for once we get some weight on you."

Heather looked at the simple light brown frock in Lou's hands. It truly wasn't anything too special but it was nice and looked to be close to new. There was even a little ruffle around the neckline. Heather felt the tears forming in her eyes.

"You shouldn't've gone to the trouble," Heather managed causing Lou to leave her chair and come to sit on the edge of the bed. She pulled the other young woman into a hug.

"Aside from there not being time to make you a whole new dress before you might want to leave this room, and aside from the fact that I actually like sewing, I wanted to do this for you," Lou told her, "I was terrible to Cody when he first started fancying you. I get worried about my friends and some of 'em don't have the sense God gave a doorknob when it comes to women and all the secrets it seemed he was keeping or you were and I was suspicious. I forget I have plenty of my own secrets. I shouldn't've judged you so harshly. This is something I can do to make up for it. Besides, Cody's eyes are going to pop out of his head when he sees you in a pretty dress. He already loves you but just wait."

Heather could not even put into words how Lou's words and actions made her feel. No one had cared about hurting her feelings or offending her in so long she couldn't even really remember it at all. That anyone would try to make up for a slight that Heather hadn't even known about made her cry even harder. She didn't understand exactly but it just moved her.

Lou at first was taken aback by Heather's reaction but then remembered how she had felt being so alone and dealing with such hurt. It felt so good when she finally had a safe place to land and safe arms to hold her. So she held Heather all the tighter.

"You just let it out, Heather," she cooed at the girl, "I know how scared you were. You're safe now. You just let those tears out. It gets better. I promise it does."

Heather looked up at the young woman she was fairly certain was her first friend since little Joe Watkins all those years ago. She guessed that Billy was her friend but then it was a different sort of friendship. This was what she had always seen but never known. A friend her own age, a girl even. Lou wasn't judging her but caring for her and sharing with her, a big secret from the sound of it.

"You?"

"Yeah, me," Lou said sighing, "Years ago but still scares me and I'll never forget how ugly and dirty it made me feel. But it gets better."

It had gotten better too. She met men who reminded her that not all men were like Wicks. Not even most men were like him. She had lost count of the number of times she wished Teaspoon had been her actual pa. He would never have treated her so and left her so exposed to being hurt. He just wouldn't. But having learned to trust again herself, she knew it was possible for Heather to learn the same thing as well and that could start right there with Lou's friendship to her.

Heather caught sight of herself in the mirror over the bureau and groaned.

"I look terrible," she lamented, "Worse than normal."

"Oh that's not bad at all," Lou said smiling, "He's already seen the bruises and cleaned the cuts himself and that didn't do anything but make him near murderous toward your uncle. Here, why don't you put this dress on and see how it fits and then maybe we can get to work on your hair."

Wincing at the stiffness and pain, Heather got up from the bed and allowed Lou to help her out of the nightgown and into her pantaloons and chemise and then the dress. Lou cinched up the waist with the sash and stood back appraising her new friend. Not for the first time she thought she might like having another female around and one closer her age besides. Lou took Heather's hair out of what was left of her usually severe bun allowing the hair to fall to its full length reaching past her waist.

"I used to have hair like this," Lou said sadly, "I'll bet it just needs a good brushing to bring out the shine."

Lou brought Heather to sit on the bed and then crawled to sit behind her with the brush and started working through the long tresses.

"Do you miss your hair?" Heather asked more of a desperate need to bond further with Lou than anything else.

"I used to but it's growing out again. I won't have to pretend like this forever," Lou answered liking this girl more and more by the minute, "Most of the boys have longer hair than I do. Yours is really beautiful. I'd never have guessed to see how you wear it usually but I suppose you probably didn't want to look too pretty where you was living."

"I'm not all that pretty anyway," Heather said dipping her head.

"Well, Cody thinks you are and he's seen plenty of girls so he ought to know. He's never failed to take note of a female yet," Lou said and then pondered her words for a moment, "At least not before he laid eyes on you. He don't seem to notice any of the ladies anymore since he's known you."

"I'm nothing special."

"You must be something quite special," Lou said, "I don't understand love either. I know Kid loves me but I don't know why. He only ever sees me in pants and men's clothes with short hair and all covered in trail dust. I think he took notice of others for a while but he don't no more. I might never understand but then I guess when you find the one you're meant to be with maybe that's all it takes for you to stop seeing anyone else."

Lou pondered Heather's hair for a short while and then smiled before heading to the bureau and plucking a ribbon from the top of it.

"I think this should be near to perfect," she smiled at her new friend, "It compliments that dress nice and it'll set of those eyes of yours."

Lou then lifted the sides of Heather's hair away from her face and secured them in the butter colored ribbon she had selected leaving the rest of Heather's hair down.

"Well now," Lou said standing up and turning to Heather with a wide smile, "How about we see what your sweetheart thinks of you now?"

Heather looked up uncertainly just as the dinner bell rang out into the growing evening. Lou held a hand out to Heather.

"You can't stay here cooped up forever and there ain't a safer spot in the territory than that bunkhouse. Believe me, I know. Besides, Cody'll kill me if you don't get a solid meal in you. I think Rachel was frying some chickens. Wait until you taste her gravy."

"But everyone will know," Heather whispered, "I can't face all of them."

"No one knows hardly anything except your uncle is a very bad man and that they care about you," Lou assured her, "These are some really good guys. They all got things they ain't proud of but it really only makes 'em sweeter."

Reluctantly Heather let herself be pulled out of the room and toward the bunkhouse. It felt strange to be wearing such a nice dress and feel her hair in the breeze but then it felt kind of good too. She paused and looked up allowing the setting sun to warm her face and smiled into the light of it. Lou watched her and knew she was seeing the realization of freedom. She had seen it once or twice before in escaped or freed slaves. It was as if they finally knew they had as much a right to the sunshine and the breeze and all God's other gifts as anyone. Lou allowed the girl her moment of soaking up the sun before hugging her.

"We'd better get going before Cody sends out a search party for us."

Lou walked into the bunkhouse first and the others looked up at her and then back to their plates but one kept his eyes trained on the door. Cody watched and waited and then frowned at Lou who finally noticed that she had not been followed in. She leaned back outside and waved for Heather to come too.

"I can't," Heather whispered, "I really can't. I don't belong."

"You belong as much as the rest of us and there's a certain young man looking toward this door and it ain't me he's hoping to see."

Lou stood in the open doorway and cleared her throat to gain the attention of the others.

"I know some of you met her informally before but she deserves a better introduction than that," she said, "May I present Miss Heather Hastings."

Heather stood on the bunkhouse porch terrified. How she could face the two who had helped her earlier again and how she could face the others at all, she just did not know. Words warred in her head. Uncle Martin's years of telling her how worthless she was fought with Billy's telling her of her beauty and how he loved her. She thought about the actions of each man and what she knew of them and decided that Billy was probably the one who was right and dared to walk in. She kept her head to the floor and watched the tips of her shoes appear and disappear beneath the hem of the new dress. She heard a commotion and looked up to see the young men at the table all scrambling to their feet like she was some kind of lady or something.

She wasn't sure how to react when a man started speaking. She recognized him as the marshal.

"It would seem my boys have plum lost their manners and have decided to use their mouths for fly catching instead of properly welcoming such a lovely lady to our midst."

Teaspoon looked at his boys who were probably terrifying the poor girl looking at her like they'd never seen anyone in a dress before.

"Cody, would you escort the young lady to the table," Teaspoon went on, "Perhaps she'd like to know her intended has the manners to know how to treat a guest."

Cody jumped to attention and moved quickly over to Heather. He had seen her hair down before but never had she looked quite like this. She was breathtaking. The color of the dress she wore wasn't anything too special but it had a color. Her usual dress was so faded it scarcely had what could be called color. And this one cinched in at the waist allowing anyone looking on her to see that she actually had a bit of a figure. Her hair shone like he had never seen. It was as if someone had injected life back into her and nothing could have been more beautiful to him. He offered his arm.

"Heather, you look lovely, honey," he said softly to her before leading her over to the table and introducing all of his friends to her and then gesturing to where a place had been set for her.

Heather found herself sitting at the end of the table next to Billy and also next to the marshal. She knew him as Marshal Hunter but everyone there called him Teaspoon. She felt safe even though she was mostly surrounded by men and she noticed that when Rachel asked if anyone wanted seconds that the others all looked to her first. In truth she did want some more of the potatoes and that gravy. Louise hadn't lied; Rachel's gravy was a marvel. Heather was unsure about saying anything though but then she heard Billy's voice soft in her ear.

"You want some more potatoes and gravy, honey? I'll dish it up for you."

She nodded and had to blink the tears back at the warmth around her. She wasn't sure she'd ever get used to treatment like this but she knew she'd like to try.

* * *

><p><strong>Hello to all the brave souls who came back to read more after the horror show that was chapter 8. I hope this is starting some sort of healing for you. I loved wrapping Heather in the coccoon of the family...she needs this.-J<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

Once the apple pie Rachel had prepared for dessert was gone Rachel stood to clear the dishes and Heather jumped up as well.

"I'll help you," she said softly and a little too fast for the good feelings of those around her, "I should start earning my keep."

"Nonsense," Rachel said forcing a smile to cover her own heartache for the girl, "You are a guest here and you're hurt. You sit right down. These boys are more than capable of clearing a table."

She looked at the riders pointedly and was greeted with all of them jumping up to help. Rachel smiled.

"You know I wouldn't turn down help most nights but Cody, I think you ought to see Heather back to the house. Looks to be a lovely night for sitting on the porch a while. I'm sure the other boys won't mind this once."

They shook their heads even though the thought occurred to most of them that it wasn't just this once and Cody regularly worked his darnedest to get out of basic chores. But Rachel was right. On this particular night none of them begrudged him the chance to spend some time with Heather.

Cody offered Heather his arm and she took it and allowed herself to be led to the door and across the yard to the porch. On the way there she pulled him toward the corral.

"You don't mind do you?" she asked looking up at him with her startling eyes wide, "I'd like to watch the horses for a little while."

"Of course I don't mind, Heather. I want you happy and if looking at the horses makes you happy then I want to look at the horses."

Leaning against the top rail of the corral fence Heather turned her head to Cody.

"They're so beautiful," she said, "I always wanted to ride but Mama and I never had the money for a horse and then, well, Mama died."

"I could teach you," Cody offered, "Once you're up to it. We have a couple horses here that're real gentle."

"I don't want to be a bother," she said her voice betraying her and how badly she wanted exactly what he offered, "Once I get better I should help Rachel more. She works very hard."

"Honey, you are not a bother. You are part of our little family now. I'm sure in time you'll pitch in and help like the rest of us but that doesn't mean you can't do fun things too. Rachel works really hard but she also takes time to do things she enjoys. You're allowed."

Heather wasn't even sure what to make of that. There had never been any free time or fun time for her, not in longer than she cared to think about. There was only work and she just found ways to get to the work that was more enjoyable faster. She liked some cooking and baking and sewing wasn't so bad. The rest of it was miserable but she managed and just kept on. Her one bright spot in every day was heading over to the schoolhouse early and sitting a while to wait for the children. Those times became even better with the addition of Billy's company.

Cody saw Heather hug her arms to her chest and immediately took off his own jacket and placed it around her shoulders then hugged her to him.

"You want to go sit for a while now?"

Heather only nodded and allowed herself to be led to the porch. Cody pulled her to sit next to him on the top step of the porch. Heather leaned her head against his chest relaxing into the arms that encircled her. In the midst of all that had changed, he was still there, strong for her.

"I'm so sorry, Billy," she said softly into his shirt, "I really am."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, Heather," he reassured her, "We'll get through this somehow. I know we will. I love you too much not to get through."

Heather just wrapped her arms around him tighter. She still didn't trust everything that was happening but she wanted to so badly. It was getting harder and harder to keep her guard up and she knew if she let it drop it would hurt all the worse when this wasn't real.

"Cody, it's time to say good night to Heather now," Rachel said from the doorway, "She needs her sleep so she can get her strength back."

The couple stood and Cody walked her to the door.

"You really do look pretty in that dress and with your hair all down like that," he said softly staring into her still frightened eyes, "Don't you worry. Somehow everything will be okay."

His fingers traced the contours of her face and the marks upon it.

"I hate letting you out of my sight," he told her, "But I'm right over there in the bunkhouse. If you need me you make Rachel come and get me."

Then he leaned and kissed her forehead and then the end of her nose and finally her lips. Heather could feel the desperation in the way he held her. His kiss was strong but so tender and she nearly wept at how loving he was to her. Too soon he pulled away from her and offered his best attempt at that bright smile that could make her believe everything was going to be fine even if the sky was falling down around her. He held her hand an extra moment.

"Sweet dreams, Heather," he said gently and then turned to leave the porch.

"Billy wait," she called softly causing him to turn back as she shrugged off his jacket handing it out to him. "Good night. I love you."

Cody took the offered garment and the chance to plant another quick kiss on her cheek and then he walked away.

"Sleep well my handsome prince," Heather whispered to the night air before going inside the house.

Rachel was waiting in the living room with a smile on her face.

"Did you have a nice time sitting and talking to Cody?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Heather," Rachel said fighting a frown, "I thought we determined we were friends. You call me Rachel, alright?"

"Yes. I'm sorry," Heather said dipping her head. She was ready to head to the room she'd been in earlier when she felt arms pull her toward the couch.

"I made us a nice pot of chamomile tea," Rachel said warmly, "I thought we could talk, just us girls."

Heather sat stiffly on the couch. Rachel looked after these young men and now that she knew what kind of girl Heather was, she probably didn't want her anywhere near Billy anymore. But she sat there anyway ready to take whatever came. Rachel just quietly poured the tea as if they really were just two friends sitting down to tea. But Heather knew better and braced herself for the heartbreak that was to come.

"Are you in much pain?" Rachel finally asked with a much more serious expression.

Heather shook her head looking at her hands in her lap.

"No, it's not so bad at all."

"Sweetie, it's alright to admit if you hurt. You don't have to be so brave anymore."

"Mostly just stiff and sore," Heather admitted, "I don't feel it when I'm close to Billy though."

Rachel reached to pat Heather's hand but was saddened when the girl pulled her hand back to avoid the contact.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Rachel said trying not to feel hurt or take Heather's actions personally, "No one here is going to hurt you. I promise."

"I'm sorry," Heather had offended Rachel and that wouldn't help at all.

"No, I'm sorry. I know you're frightened and it's only natural you would be. I really won't hurt you though. Maybe in time we can all prove that to you."

Heather only nodded.

"I'll bet you're tired," Rachel said suddenly, "Why don't I help you get ready for bed?"

Heather stood and made her way slowly to the room she'd been in earlier with Rachel following along. Once in the room Rachel handed over a fresh nightgown and helped Heather out of the dress and into the nightgown.

"I think tomorrow I should get to those hands again," Rachel noted, "They'll probably be a whole lot better the day after."

Heather climbed into the bed with the warm quilt the likes of which she had never known before and felt Rachel sit behind her untying the ribbon and beginning to brush through her long hair.

"Can I hold that?"

"What?" Rachel asked and then realized, "Oh the ribbon?"

Heather turned it in her bandaged hands. It was so smooth.

"I never had my hair tied in a pretty ribbon before."

"Then how about I tie your braid with that one tonight?"

Rachel could feel the girl relax little by little as she brushed through her hair.

"Can I ask you something, Heather?"

"Yes."

"We had a talk the other day," Rachel began, "And you asked how I knew Henry loved me and how I knew I loved him. I was wondering how you know Cody loves you and how you know you love him. I wouldn't ask at all but the two of you are so young. I want to make sure you're not so busy running away from a bad thing that you don't look what you're running to."

"I know I'm not good enough for him," Heather said sadly, "You care for him and you don't want him with me. It's okay."

"Oh sweetie that's not it at all," Rachel nearly exclaimed, "It's you I'm worried about. You're so young and being married and having that life together, well, that forever is a long time and even longer when you're young. I just want to know what lets you know this is right."

"A story Mama told me," Heather answered, "She told me that I was a princess in disguise but that someday a prince would come along and he would see past the disguise. I'm not stupid and I know I am no princess and Billy's not really a prince either but he saw past everything. I wanted to be even homelier than I am and I'm not pretty to begin with but he saw something deep inside me. Maybe that's silly, I don't know. I know I feel like maybe I am a princess when I'm with him on account of how he treats me. He must really love me. And I feel like I'm something good when I'm with him. I never felt that before."

Rachel couldn't stop herself from wrapping her arms around Heather and giving her a squeeze.

"That sounds like love alright," Rachel told her, "Can I get you to think on a couple things for me?"

"Yes."

"I know you two have been together and I figure you gave yourself to him."

Heather lowered her head.

"Don't be ashamed," Rachel soothed, "You're in love and that is what people in love do. I wish Cody might have shown some more restraint but he is a young man after all. I want you to consider that just because you're in love doesn't always mean you have to run a race to the altar and I want you to think about if you're really ready. I don't mean just ready to be someone's wife but to be a mama yourself. You've been doing the housework and child rearing all this time and you're little more than a child yourself. Maybe you'd like to have some more experiences before you are living that life again."

"Billy said we could get married right away."

"And you can, sweetie," Rachel agreed, "I'm just asking you to make sure that marrying right away is what you want. I don't think you've gotten to spend near enough of your life thinking what you want."

"He'll be upset."

"No he won't. You still love him. If we explain things then everything will work out just fine," she assured Heather, "Seems you have a birthday coming this week and there's the dance next weekend. That seems like plenty to concern yourself with. You don't need to plan a wedding on top of it all. Just think about things is all I am asking."

Heather nodded and Rachel rose to leave the room and let the girl sleep but then was drawn back by Heather speaking.

"Could I ask you something, Rachel?" Heather was terrified. She hadn't had anyone to ask advice of in so long.

"Of course."

"I'm so confused about what I feel right now," Heather said, "I know I love Billy and he makes me feel so good when we're together but I'm sort of afraid for him to touch me. I don't want to be with him—or anyone else—like that right now. I'm afraid that I might not ever and then I'm afraid that when I do he won't want me anymore or he maybe already doesn't want me."

Rachel sank back down onto the mattress and put an arm around the girl.

"You are dealing with some things no one should and so young too," Rachel nearly cooed at her, "I saw that boy's eyes light when you walked in for supper tonight. He still wants you like that. Any restraint he shows is because he doesn't want to hurt or frighten you more than you are. He's a good boy. And I'm no expert but I have a hunch you'll want him to touch you again in time. He'll wait."

"Do you really think so?"

"He'd be a fool to give up on a princess," Rachel answered, "Even one in disguise. Did he kiss you good night?"

Heather nodded.

"How was that?"

"So good," Heather replied, "He's so gentle and tender to me. But I didn't want him to do more than kiss."

"And he didn't so he's behaving. You just have to make sure that you let him know how you feel all the time. He can't help you through if you don't let him. Do you think you can sleep now?"

Heather nodded and watched as Rachel turned down the lamp before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

Sinking back into the pillows under the quilt Heather thought on the day that had started before dawn with her running flat out to the station and then being too afraid to wake anyone or even talk to anyone. She had been terrified when Jimmy had come into the barn but he had been almost as sweet to her as Billy and the other one, Buck was so gentle and careful of her too. Still she hadn't felt completely safe until she saw Billy but then there had been a whole new wave of fear. She wasn't afraid he would hurt her but she was afraid he would turn away from her. She still feared that morning would bring a realization that she was tarnished now and that he no longer wanted her or could stand to look at her.

Under the covers she rolled on her side bringing her knees as tight to her body as she could. She felt so small and so alone and all she really wanted was to be held. Her first thoughts went to Billy but he wasn't what she wanted right now. She wanted her mama. No one else had ever loved her and asked nothing of her. She wanted to suddenly be six or seven again and know that if she was scared that those soft arms would wrap around her and the simple melodies would start to waft into her ears. She would be rocked and comforted and be safe. Fears would flee as darkness from the rays of the morning sun. She hadn't understood a good deal of what went on when Mama died. She had been young and whisked off to stay with neighbors while her aunt and uncle were contacted. They came for her the day after the funeral. She hadn't even seen her mother's body. She had gone off to school and not been allowed to return after. One of the men who visited her mother had found her dead. Sometimes Heather thought that her mother had known that they would not see each other again. Heather had kissed her goodbye like every morning but Mama had taken her shoulders and kissed her again and held her tight.

"Remember who you are inside and don't let anyone tell you you're not."

In all the time that she had been with Uncle Martin and as badly as she felt about herself, she always remembered that Mama said she was a princess. Some days it seemed ridiculous to her to keep holding to it but she did anyway. It was the last promise she had made to her mama and she'd never break it. Still it made her angry to think Mama might have known and hadn't given her a chance to say goodbye proper though she doubted she could have found a way to do it.

Heather had cried a good many tears since Mama had died but she'd never really grieved her mother. She had wept for her own loneliness and misery but never really her loss. But now the little girl she had been when she stood at her mother's graveside rose up within her and begged to be allowed to cry, to grieve, to let out the pain she had held inside for so long. Heather was not merely lonely or frightened; she missed and needed her mama.

The tears came and she gasped for air hugging her knees tightly to her as the sobs wracked her thin body. She cried and cried and for a time did not even notice the arms that encircled her or the soft voice that sang in her ear.

Rachel had barely gotten herself under the covers when she heard the sobbing. She rushed to Heather's room and found the poor girl curled into as tight a ball as she could work herself into sobbing and calling for her mama. It broke her heart to think of this poor girl going so long without that love and comfort that a mother could give. There was no thought behind her movement to the bed and onto it. She pulled Heather into her arms and rocked her. Singing every lullaby and sweet song she knew and interspersing it with words of comfort, Rachel held the girl while she cried. Eventually the thin body in her arms relaxed a little and the sobs came less frequently. Rachel still held her tight and cooed sweet words of comfort in Heather's ear. She told her it was alright and she was safe and loved and such a pretty girl and a special girl. She told her she was a princess and that no one would hurt her. In time Heather turned her head up in the darkness and saw the silhouette of a woman with soft curls and felt herself in the soft comforting arms of a woman.

"Mama?"

Rachel kissed the top of Heather's head before speaking.

"No sweetie, I'm not your mama. It's just me, Rachel."

"Mama used to hold me and sing me those songs," Heather whispered.

"I'm so sorry she's gone," Rachel said softly, "She sounds like she was a good mother."

Heather nodded against Rachel's shoulder.

"I miss her so much."

Her tears renewed and Rachel just held her all the tighter. Eventually they both fell asleep with Rachel leaning against the headboard cradling Heather in her lap and held tight to her.

* * *

><p><strong>Heather just about killed me with that last bit, darn her. Poor thing.-J<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

Heather woke and at first tensed as she assessed her situation and then snuggled closer into Rachel's arms when the details of the night before came back to her. Rachel wasn't Mama but she had been nearly like mama and Heather decided that if she could just stay all day cuddled to this woman who had taken such good care of her that she would be just fine with that.

In time Rachel woke as well. She hugged the girl in her arms tighter and kissed the top of her head.

"How are you feeling this morning, sweetie?" she asked.

Heather just looked at her. She wasn't sure how she was doing and no one had asked her such a thing in a very long time.

"Are you still sore?"

"Not as much," Heather said, "I feel sad, I think."

"What's making you sad this morning?" Rachel asked, "Things are starting to look up for you now, you know."

"I don't know exactly. I just feel sort of lost, I think."

"I understand how you could feel that but you should try to remember that you're not lost at all," Rachel said softly, "You've been found."

"I know," Heather replied looking at her hands in her lap, her hands that were, at least for the time being, useless. "I don't know what to do though. I should be helping with breakfast and I should be doing the mending and I can't do those things."

"It's Sunday," Rachel reminded her, "There are some chores the boys still have to do and there's some cooking for me to do but mostly we rest on Sundays. Maybe you and Cody could spend some time together, have a picnic or something."

"I don't know what to say to him," Heather protested, "I'm afraid."

"Do you still want to marry him?"

"I love him," Heather replied.

"Then you have to learn to speak up for yourself," Rachel said, "He's a good boy but he's no mind reader and he won't know anything that's in your head that you don't tell him. He doesn't want to hurt you and he wants so badly to make you happy but he won't know how to do that unless you tell him."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"You can and you'll learn," Rachel asserted, "I know you can and it's what he wants you to do too. I'll talk to him today for you and make sure he understands how important it is he minds his manners but you still need to talk to him."

Heather's eyes shifted away and Rachel stood.

"For now we need to get you dressed. I want to re-bandage your hands before breakfast too."

Heather allowed Rachel to help her out of her nightgown and into the dress from the day before.

"We'll have to see about getting some material for a couple new dresses for you," Rachel noted, "I think we could pay Mr. Tompkins a visit tomorrow for that."

Then Rachel made Heather sit again and looked at her hands.

"These are looking much better than yesterday," she said, "If you rest them again today I think by tomorrow you might even be able to do some of the work on those dresses for you. That might make you feel better. It's hard not to feel useful."

Heather nodded while Rachel took her braid out and brushed through her hair winding it up loosely and securing it with a few pins.

"There," she said, "You're all set. I'm going to start breakfast. When you're ready you just make your way to the bunkhouse."

Heather nodded transfixed on her image in the mirror. Overlooking the marks on her face was hard but she found when she did she was fascinated by the young lady looking back at her. Between the shiny hair and pretty dress she was sure this must not even be her. Now Rachel was talking about making her new dresses as well. Could it be that she really was this young lady in the mirror? Could it even be that she had been all along? A smile graced her lips at the thought that maybe she could be just like any other girl she had ever seen. She stood and made her way out of the house to head to breakfast.

Rachel got to the bunkhouse as Cody was heading out to get some of his chores done.

"Could I talk to you a minute?" she asked him.

"Sure Rachel," he said, "Heather's okay, ain't she?"

Rachel nodded.

"She's doing a lot better this morning," she assured him, "I think the two of you could use some time together today. It's Sunday and looks to be a nice day for a picnic."

"A picnic sounds great, Rachel," he said getting stars in his eyes.

"Stop right there," she admonished, "You two need time to talk."

She paused realizing she had just snapped at the poor boy.

"I will forever be grateful that the first time a man touched her that it was you because I know you were tender to her. If her first knowledge of being with a man was what that monster did to her I don't know if I could bear it. But still, he turned what was beautiful between you two into something ugly. She'll need some time. And the two of you have a lot to talk about. The poor thing is barely a woman, really not much more than a girl and she's known nothing but housework and caring for children for longer than she should have. Maybe she doesn't need to move so fast. She's free of her uncle and so there's really no rush."

"Did she tell you that's what she wants?"

"She told me she doesn't know what she wants yet," Rachel answered, "But she's scared to even talk to you. I told her a man who loves her as much as you do would want to know what would really make her happy. Don't make me a liar."

"She doesn't want to marry me…"

"I never said that and neither did she," Rachel clarified, "She loves you and she's pretty sure of that as well. Just let her figure things out. I don't think she's ever had the opportunity to consider her own wants."

"Talking could be a good thing, I guess," he said, "I kind of like listening to her talk. It's a little like music, don't you think?"

Rachel giggled at how head over heels this boy was for this girl. She wouldn't trade places with Heather for the world but in this way she was a little jealous of the girl, at the devotion Cody had to her.

Heather walked in right about then looking at the floor and from her demeanor Rachel had a hunch that the girl had heard Cody's last remark. Cody's head shot up when she came in.

"Heather," he said, "You look beautiful."

He reached out and touched her cheek.

"Rachel says maybe we can go for a picnic and talk. If you would like to, that is."

Rachel made an excuse to leave for a moment.

"I would really like to talk to you," Cody said earnestly, "But if you aren't ready to talk or to be alone with me, I understand. I don't want to decide for you."

Heather looked unsure at him.

"I do mean talk," he clarified, "I know we probably went to fast with other things and we haven't talked enough. I want to talk to you. I want to hear whatever you have to say."

Breakfast was quiet and polite and Heather felt strange eating food she hadn't prepared and clearing dishes she would not wash. She thought perhaps to sit and talk to Rachel while the woman washed the morning dishes but instead found herself out in the yard enjoying the fresh morning air. She saw Jimmy sitting on the corral fence watching Buck work with one of the horses. She took a deep breath and walked over. Once there she merely leaned against the fence conjuring the courage she needed to say what she wanted to.

"Don't worry," Jimmy said breaking the silence for her, "That ain't the horse Cody'd teach you to ride on."

"He said there were some gentle ones."

"Yup, a few," Jimmy answered still looking straight ahead at Buck. He wasn't sure if he'd get used to seeing the girl so battered like she was and hoped it would all heal soon so he wouldn't have to worry about it anyway.

"Thank you," she said after a long pause.

"You're welcome?" was Jimmy's response, "Not sure for what though."

"For being so gentle and kind to me," she explained, "I was really scared."

"I can't even imagine how scared you were," he said honestly, "I didn't hurt you worse getting you down, did I?"

"No. You and Buck were very careful with me."

She paused and allowed the silence between them and just watched Buck with the horse.

"Is that horse wild?" she finally asked.

"Nah, he just ain't used to a saddle," Jimmy said easily, "Buck'll take care of that."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"I heard what you said when Uncle Martin came here looking for me," she admitted, "You didn't have to do that, stick your neck out for me, I mean. You really didn't. You didn't even know me."

"I knew enough," he said daring to look her in the eye, "I don't like bullies. He's a bully pure and simple and I will not abide a bully. That's all there is to it. Now that I do know you I'm glad all the more that I did what I did. Cody found himself a nice girl."

"What is Billy like?"

Jimmy smiled and chuckled to himself.

"He's a pain in my, uh, neck," he began, "But I guess I'm probably as much a pain in his. If you look at the surface of the man you wouldn't think he ever took a thing serious in his life. You'd be wrong though. He takes a lot serious, sometimes too serious. He jokes around and goofs off I think to protect himself. I could be wrong but that's what I think. He's got a gift for finding the good in a situation though. I'm jealous of it sometimes. Don't tell him I said that part. I'd never hear the end of it."

"Billy's right, you are good to talk to," Heather said smiling. Jimmy noticed that the marks on her face were much less noticeable when she smiled.

"He said that?"

Heather nodded.

"So are you going to marry him, or what?"

"I think so," she said, "I don't think I really know what's happening. It's hard to think."

"I'll bet it is."

"You trying to steal my girl, Hickok?" Cody called out playfully.

"Just keeping her company," Jimmy said, "I'm pretty sure she's bored with me though."

Jimmy looked at Heather with a suddenly serious expression

"I'm glad you came here, Heather," he said, "I think we all are."

He was too. If those awful things had to happen to her, at least she had come to where Cody and the rest of the boys could keep her safe. And she was nice and good for his friend. She reminded him a little of Lydia, his younger sister. Pretty but not very sure of herself and yet sweet as pie. He thought it might be really good to have her around until she and Cody got things on track. She might not be sure yet but Jimmy was fairly certain they would in fact marry. He watched the two of them walk off together and smiled. Somehow another of his brothers might just be fine after all.

Cody was glad to have Heather to himself, sort of. They were still in the yard of the station and in full view of the others. Of course that was probably for the best since he was bound and determined to not let his desires get the better of him. Rachel was right even if he didn't want to hear it when she said it. Heather had never had so many things he took for granted. He needed to fix that. He did want her to be happy. Her smile was perhaps the greatest thing he had ever known and he really wanted to be able to gaze upon it for the rest of his life. It upset him some that perhaps once Heather could get her self esteem back then she might see that there were other men out there. She might not want him anymore. Cody wasn't sure he could bear that. He would just have to try to earn her affections.

"Did I mention how pretty that dress looks on you?" he asked leading her to the buckboard so he could take her out for the day.

She nodded watching her feet as they swished the skirt forward with every step.

Cody couldn't stand the silence as he helped her onto the buckboard already loaded with food Rachel had put together.

"I mean you're always beautiful to me but that dress is closer to what beauty like yours deserves."

Heather was still silent as she mulled thoughts over in her mind. And it wasn't just all the new thoughts she had that she'd not been allowed before, she was frightened as well. What she and Billy had done had seemed so beautiful, so pure, so loving. It hadn't occurred to her that it could be dirty or ugly or brutal. She sat rigid on the seat with her hands folded neatly in her lap and stared forward watching the scenery wondering how far away he would take her. She trusted him but then she didn't. She knew he would never willingly hurt her but if he wanted to touch her she wasn't sure she could find the voice to tell him no. Perhaps she should have asked for a chaperone. Rachel would have understood and might even have come herself. But then Heather knew that all Rachel had told her was true. She would have to learn to speak her mind, tell Billy her wants, her wishes and make sure he knew as much what she didn't like as what she did. He wouldn't have a way to know unless she told him. She was unprepared for when Billy pulled up on the reins bringing the wagon to a stop.

"Are you mad at me, Heather?" he asked as if frightened of the answer, "I know I failed you. I know I let bad things happen and I know sorry don't even cut it right now, not with all you went through."

"No, I'm not mad."

"Then what-" he began but then stopped realizing the problem, "You're scared. Honey, I ain't going to hurt you. I won't do a single thing you ain't ready for. I know you ain't ready for the things we used to do. I'll never stop wanting you that way but I know it wouldn't be right for you yet. This here picnic is for talking. We didn't do enough of that. I know I can talk enough for ten people but I really wish you would talk more. What you have to say is important."

Heather wasn't sure what to say. There was no anger in his voice but she still thought perhaps she had offended him in some way.

"I know you wouldn't hurt me," she said softly, "Not on purpose, not like Uncle Martin."

"I'm not even going to risk hurting you accidentally," he said daring to touch the side of her face, "I never want you to be hurt ever again. Will you calm down now and let me show you this spot? It's really beautiful, I think."

She wrapped her arms around his arm and rested her head against his shoulder nodding against him. He was still her hero after all even if he didn't seem to understand that.

"Now that's more like it," he said, "That's a whole lot more like it."

The two rode along once more in silence but Cody felt it was a good and settled silence. The weight of Heather's head felt just right against his shoulder yet he felt a guilt that he was doing too little too late for her. She was safe and happy with him right then but where was he before? He was neglecting her and he should have known better. At last they reached the meadow where Cody envisioned their picnic spot.

"It's lovely, Billy," Heather said fighting the tears that sprang to her eyes. It was so similar to the place where her mother once took her.

"I told you I knew a place like your old picnic spot. You said you was happy then. I want to make you happy, Heather. You just tell me how. You want to drip with jewels? I'll find a way to make it happen. You want a grand palace of a house? I'll build it for you. Anything you want, anything that will make you smile, that's what I want to give you."

Heather contemplated his words.

"Do you still love me? Even after what happened, I mean. Can you still love me?"

"Of course I love you," he said not even believing she could think otherwise, "Hate him but I love you."

"Then I'm happy."

"You deserve more than that," he said sadly, "You should have more than just the love of someone who can't protect you."

She smiled at him and he thought it might be something close to a playful smile. All Cody knew was that it was something he wanted to see more of.

"You're protecting me now, aren't you?" she asked him, "You'll keep me safe here, won't you?"

He had to laugh at that. The more he got to know of her and the more she became truly free of all that her uncle had stuffed her head with, the more he loved her. The two sat and ate and talked and it was Heather who did most of the talking. She spoke of her mother and their life and how she felt when her mother had died. Cody held her and dried her tears and kept listening when she went on to talk of life with her aunt and uncle and how much worse it got once her aunt died. Cody told her things as well. He told her his mother still lived which was a bit of a secret since he had claimed to be an orphan to get the job with the Pony Express. He talked about his father and how crushed he had been when the man was killed.

"It's getting late," he said noticing the sun heading toward the horizon though still an hour or so from actually touching it or even thinking of dipping below. "I should get you back to the station. But I wanted to ask you something first."

She looked to him in question and it was no longer a question filled with fear or uncertainty but just a question.

"I asked you before when things were still a mess but I wanted to see if maybe things had changed enough to change your answer."

Still she just looked at him waiting for the heart of his speech.

"There's a dance coming up just a few days after your birthday and I'd be awful proud to be the one to escort you to it. I know you couldn't say yes before but now you can if you want. I'm just asking if you want to go with me."

"I've never been to a dance before," she said hesitantly.

"I think that's all the more reason to go," he told her, "But it's still up to you and if you want to go with me. You could just go as a young woman on her own or you could go with one of the other guys."

He threw that last part in hoping against hope that she would not choose that.

"I'm afraid of going at all," she confessed, "I won't know how to act and I've never danced. I'd make a fool of myself and if I was with you it would make a fool of you too."

"I doubt very much you'd ever be thought a fool and the way I run my mouth sometimes, I'm probably already thought of that way," he smiled at her, "If you could see yourself to being seen with me I'd be proud to be seen with you."

"I think it would be fun to go to a dance and see everyone in their fancy clothes and all the other girls in their pretty dresses and I think I'd be too scared to go alone. You'd help me, wouldn't you?"

He nodded.

"And I would have the handsomest escort there," she mused as if she was still thinking although Cody had an inkling she had already made her decision. "Yes, I will go to the dance with you, Billy."

Cody sighed and realized he'd been holding his breath. Well, it made sense. There was no one else he wanted to be at the dance with. He knew he might have to share her for a dance or two with the other guys but arriving with him would guarantee that she would dance most with him. He could not wait to hold her to him and twirl her across the floor to the envious stares of every other man there.

Heather sat back against him and smiled thinking of how romantic it would be to walk into the dance with Billy. She'll be the luckiest girl there to be on the arm of such a handsome and noble escort. She already felt like Cinderella.

"Oh no," she said although she didn't mean to say it out loud.

"What's the matter?" Cody asked suddenly worried.

"I can't. I don't have anything to wear that's right. I'll embarrass you for sure."

"You could show up in a flour sack and I'd think you were the most beautiful woman there," he said and he knew how stupid it sounded but he meant it all the same. "Besides, Rachel said she wanted to take you to the store tomorrow to get some material to make a couple new dresses. I'm sure one of them would be something you could wear. She told me your hands should be near to better tomorrow."

He looked away a moment at that.

"God, Heather, I am so sorry," he said, "I don't think I'll ever be able to apologize enough for leaving you with him."

Heather was surprised at the moisture forming in his perfect blue eyes. She placed her hand on the side of his face.

"I'll be alright," she said, "Because of you I had a place to run to."

"Because of me you needed to run."

"No," she said, "I needed to run before or I'd be getting married day after tomorrow. There was no way out. I didn't even have friends. You're the first friend I had since before Mama died."

"We're more than friends, aren't we, Heather?"

"I guess we are," she said, "But having a friend is really good."

"Having a friend is very good," he agreed, "But I think I like best having a friend I'm in love with. I don't think I ever had one of those before."

He kissed the top of her head and then leaned his head down.

"Before we go home," he ventured, "Can I kiss you? I promise I won't do more than kiss you but I really, really want to kiss you right now."

Heather was scared. She wanted to kiss him but knew she wanted nothing more. She feared that if he tried to touch her that she would let him. Still she nodded and turned her head to face him.

Cody brought his face to meet her lips. The kiss began innocently but soon Cody's hands were on the back of her head holding her to him and the kiss became deep and passionate. As many stirrings as he felt from below his waist he held back from moving his hands from her head any farther than to caress her cheek. When he pulled away he smiled his most winning smile at her.

"I know you thought I couldn't do that," he said, "You thought I couldn't mind myself. I thought maybe I couldn't either. But we'll slow down and we'll do this right."

He took a breath a looked around a little.

"Now let's get you back to the station before Rachel starts thinking that I've been a bad boy and taking advantage of you."

* * *

><p><strong>Sweet Heather...and how cute is the Codester? Oh he's being so good. I'm proud of him.-J<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

Shopping was going well as far as Heather could determine. She had gone to Tompkins' store with Rachel and Jimmy was brought along just to be safe. Heather was sure that Jimmy could have thought of better ways to spend his time but it was agreed that Heather should not be going anywhere without someone to protect her and Rachel had insisted that Billy not be privy to what they were buying. So there Heather stood in the store looking at material while Rachel had a conversation with Mr. Tompkins about how much of each sort she needed. Jimmy stuck close and tried to pretend he cared anything about dresses. It was then that her eyes landed on the bolt of light green cloth.

There was a yellow cast to this green and although it was a pastel shade it seemed brighter somehow. Heather could not help walking over to it and even daring to touch it. She gasped and pulled her hand back. It was so soft it almost felt as if she had touched only air. Slowly she dared touch it again. This was nothing like the simple calico and gingham material picked out for her day dresses. Those were pretty and she liked them but this was like nothing else she had ever even laid eyes on.

"You like that one?" Jimmy asked startling her as he came up behind, "I don't know much about this sort of thing but I have to admit it's kind of pretty."

"It's beautiful," Heather said in wonder.

"Better tell Rachel we need some of that then too."

"No," she said turning quickly, "I could never ask such a thing. It's so, so…"

She looked at Jimmy helplessly as if imploring him to find the right word. He just gave her a half a smile and went to get Rachel who came right over.

"Oh Heather, that is perfect. How did I miss this before?" Rachel gushed, "You need something to wear to that dance and I expect this will make Cody's eyes pop right out of his head."

"Rachel, it's far too fancy for me."

"I happen to think it is perfect. And I think the young man here would agree. Wouldn't you, Jimmy?"

He smiled at them, "I ain't any expert but I expect that Rachel's right."

Heather looked at her feet and blushed. She offered no further protests about the material and voiced no more thoughts as Rachel finished collecting the things she needed to make the dresses. The three of them made their way back to the station with Jimmy carrying their bundles. Heather tried to take them but he insisted that a lady shouldn't have to.

Cody was just leaving the barn when they arrived back at the station. He had only just finished chores since he was doing his own and Jimmy's as well.

"How was shopping?" he asked Heather with his most winning smile.

Heather looked lost for words so Rachel spoke up.

"I think it went very well but we have a lot of work to do now, don't we?"

Heather just nodded and began to follow the other woman to the house but Cody walked up next to her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Heather insisted, "I just don't think I needed quite all of what we bought."

"I'm sure Rachel knows what she's doing," he assured her kissing her lightly on the cheek, "I'll see you later and I promise I won't still smell like the inside of the barn when I do."

She couldn't help the smile that overtook her at that remark. Nor could she help herself from tilting her head up and planting a soft kiss on his mouth.

"Thank you," she said, "I love you, Billy."

He stood there looking after her with a smile on his face until Jimmy walked up and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"If that's the look she gets for a kiss wearing her everyday dress, I can't wait to see what you look like when you see what Rachel's cooking up."

"You've got to tell me!" Cody pleaded.

"No I don't and I wouldn't do that to Heather," Jimmy said, "She deserves the look on your face when you see her. I doubt she's ever had such a thing. And I don't know much about those things anyway. I think Lou's going to be making it. She'll only shoot you if you pester her too much."

* * *

><p>Heather sat on the porch steps sewing contentedly. She had actually never minded sewing and especially had enjoyed making dresses. Whenever she was able to get cloth for them she would make Addie the sweetest little dresses and actually had gone through after Aunt Etheline passed and used her old dresses to make new ones for Addie. It felt good to give that little girl something that Heather, herself, had never had. It was almost as good as having had them herself. Suddenly Heather was having trouble seeing the needle and thread through the tears. Poor Addie! No one was making her dresses now or braiding her hair in the morning or helping her with her reading.<p>

Buck saw Heather on the porch and was keeping an eye on her. Rachel had gone to school once they were back from getting the supplies for the dresses. Lou was inside working on the special dress for the dance and Cody said he had an errand to run. For a while Heather seemed content and almost happy about sitting and working. Buck understood a little of that. She was used to working for her keep but beyond that, being useful felt good and having something to do, something productive felt even better. She not only had something to occupy her time but something to show for her work as well. This time when he looked up to check on her though he could see her good spirits were gone and even from his distance across the yard he could see her shoulders shake. He headed toward her reaching her just as her head bowed only to be caught by her hand.

"Heather," he began with a questioning tone, "Are you okay?"

He knew that was kind of a dumb question because if she was okay she would not be crying but still that seemed the way to start things.

Heather's head shot up to see who was speaking and immediately she felt guilty for her emotional outburst. She had no real reason to be sad after all. She was safe and she had something to do and Billy still loved her. Her tears were very much out of line.

"I'm fine, Buck," she said hastily drying her eyes, "Thank you for asking."

He sat on the next step down from where Heather was sitting with her sewing.

"I know you're not fine," he said, "People don't cry like that when they're fine. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," she told him, "Really. I'm being silly I think."

"I doubt that," he assured her, "I think you showed up here with more reasons to cry than most folks get in a lifetime. I'm just wondering what it is right now. You know if Cody finds out you were crying and I just let you sit here alone without trying to help, he'll have my head."

Heather sighed heavily.

"I was just thinking about Addie," she answered, "She's all alone now and there's no one to see to her. The boys are probably alright. I don't know what they're eating but knowing them they've figured out how not to starve. I just wonder if anyone has even noticed little Addie."

Her tears renewed and Buck reached over to pat her hand.

"I think Teaspoon is trying to find a way to get those children away from your uncle," Buck told her and then decided to change the subject as there was really nothing more he could offer her. "That's really pretty material, Heather. It must be nice to think you're going to get some new clothes here."

"It is nice," she admitted, "Everything is nice here."

Buck thought about that and how much he sometimes began to take for granted the niceness around him. Sure there was hard work to be done but there was nothing wrong with breaking a sweat and earning one's pay. And yes the rest of the world could be cruel to him but this was a safe place. This was a place where people only saw him. They did not see his color or the shame he carried for how he came to be anymore than he saw the shame each of them carried for the way their own lives had unfolded to this point. This was a place of second chances, a place to find the things that were lost or that had never been. It must have seemed a paradise to someone who'd lived as Heather had.

"I'm glad you're here now," he said truthfully, "Cody can get some sleep now instead of sneaking out all the time."

Heather blushed.

"Don't act like that," he chastised gently, "He was tired but he was happy. It's nice to see he can take something seriously."

Buck looked at Heather a moment as she turned her eyes back to her sewing.

"This'll never get done if I spend all my time weeping," she said.

"You know you can talk to any of us, right?" Buck asked as he stood and prepared to head back to the barn.

"Thank you," she said nodding.

The next day went very much the same except that Heather had a new dress to wear. It was simple and for working. She could easily move to hang wash and help Rachel with the cooking and the hem hit at her ankle so she didn't constantly need a hand free to lift her skirts out of the way of her feet. Heather spent most of that day on the porch steps sewing another dress and enjoying the sounds of the boys doing their chores and occasionally lifting her eyes to watch the horses in the corral. She couldn't think of much of anything better until supper rolled around that is.

Rachel hadn't allowed her to help with the meal which felt wrong to Heather since her hands were just fine. But Rachel insisted that Heather find some other way to busy herself while she saw to supper. So Heather had gone to her room. It had taken her a while to think of the comfortable room with the soft bed as hers but she was beginning to. She sat on the bed sewing until she heard the knock on the front door. Her heart pounded all the way to the door not knowing what to expect but she was rewarded with a smiling Billy when she opened the door. He bowed to her eliciting a small giggle.

"Might I escort the guest of honor to supper?"

"Guest of honor?" she asked.

"You'll see," he said still smiling warmly, "Well you will if you'd take my arm and let me bring you over to the bunkhouse."

Heather timidly closed the door behind her and rested her hand on his offered arm and allowed herself to be led to the bunkhouse. She kept looking over to see the same smile on Billy's face and while she loved his smile, it was starting to make her uneasy like there was a joke she wasn't in on. Perhaps a joke that was on her and that was frightening in ways she couldn't understand. She had gotten comfortable with being invisible and the thought of being the center of attention, especially if she was to be made fun of was nothing she relished. About halfway across the yard the tears spilled over her lashes and began running down her cheeks.

Cody glanced over at Heather smiling knowing that what was inside the bunkhouse would make her happy but what he saw when he looked at her made him anything but. She was crying. She did that a lot and he understood to some extent that she had a lot of sadness and hurt to let out. Still he stopped her. He couldn't bring her into the bunkhouse crying like she was. He wanted her to be able to enjoy the surprise they all had cooked up and wanted the others to feel they helped make her happy.

"Heather, what's wrong, honey?" he asked brushing away a tear from her cheek, "Did I do something to upset you? Are you still hurting?"

"I can't go in there," she whispered, "I'm tired. I think I'd rather go to bed early. I'm not all that hungry."

Cody didn't know what to do. Everyone had worked very hard on the surprise and now Heather wouldn't go in and wouldn't tell him why.

"You really can't skip meals," he said concerned. She was putting on weight little by little but it wasn't enough for him and then maybe he could guilt her into going in to eat.

"I really don't want to go in there."

"You aren't afraid of the guys suddenly, are you?" he asked, "Did one of them say something to you? Who was it?"

"Everyone has been very nice to me," she said, "Too nice. Nicer than they ought to be."

"I don't understand. How can they be too nice?"

"Not everyone is treated nice. Not everyone should be."

"Actually everyone should be," he said, "Unless they are bad people who hurt others, like your uncle. At least that's how I was taught. Everyone deserves respect. The people in that bunkhouse aren't nice to you because they're supposed to be. They aren't even nice because I asked them to be. They're nice to you because they want to be. You're a nice person, Heather. Don't you know that?"

"What did you mean 'guest of honor'?"

"Please come see for yourself," he said, "We've been working all day on something we think will make you happy and see how much we all love you. Please don't make me ruin the surprise."

"Nothing bad is going to happen?"

"I wouldn't let it and neither would they."

She searched his eyes for any trace of deception. His face was so earnest, concerned for her. So she placed her hand on his arm once again and allowed herself to be led to the bunkhouse. She walked in to see everyone looking at her and smiling.

"Happy birthday, Heather!"

They yelled it out all together. Heather wasn't sure what to do but everyone was smiling and Billy's arm was tight around her making her feel safe.

"You didn't forget today was your birthday, did you?" Cody asked her.

She shook her head looking at the floor in front of her feet.

"You couldn't really think that I did," he said looking at little hurt.

She only shrugged wishing the focus would be taken off of her soon and her wish was granted sort of when Lou came over and took her hand leading her to the table. Heather only glanced at Rachel as the woman started dishing food onto her plate but looked up almost startled when she saw it was chicken and dumplings.

"It took some doing," Rachel smiled at her, "But I found out that it's your favorite. Something your mama cooked for you."

"It is," Heather replied, "You didn't have to go to such trouble."

"It's not trouble, Heather. Actually it's a fairly simple dish and I try to make a special supper whenever one of the family is celebrating a birthday."

Rachel leaned closer and whispered into Heather's ear softly so no one else could hear it.

"I have to take care of all of my children. You're just as special to me as any of them."

Heather blinked back the tears. Chicken and dumplings was not necessary, neither was anything else. She realized she was with people who loved her for the first time since before her mama had passed and that was the best birthday present she could ever get. But she looked to the end of the table. Teaspoon never missed one of Rachel's meals but he was not there now. She hoped there was no emergency that had kept him and that he was alright. He had been so tender to her, like a father ought to have been.

Cody followed Heather's eyes.

"He's coming," he assured her, "He had an errand to run. Before he gets here though I think we all have some things for you."

Before Heather could even fathom what was happening, packages were being passed to her. She received books and a pretty fan, Lou and Rachel said her present was still being made but she would get it on Friday. Lastly, Billy handed her a small package. In it Heather found a cameo with a pale blue background. It was so beautiful. She had seen such things of course but had never owned such a thing. Nor had anyone she even knew well owned such a lovely thing.

"Billy I can't take this," she said, "It's too beautiful. You shouldn't have."

"It's not nearly as beautiful as you are and I should make sure you are surrounded by things like this."

Heather wanted to protest but Rachel spoke up.

"It really is pretty, Heather," she paused; "Now I hope you all saved room for cake."

The door to the bunkhouse opened to little notice of the others.

"Cake?" Teaspoon called from the door, "Sounds like I came in at the right time."

"There's still some chicken and dumplings left too," Rachel told him, "Did your errand go well?"

"I think it went better than I could even have imagined," he answered, "First of all I want to wish Heather here a happy birthday and then I will tell you all about it."

He crossed over to the table and placed a kiss on Heather's cheek.

"Happy birthday," he said softly, "From here on out, may they all be happy."

Then he straightened himself up and went back to the door.

"Rachel said I had an errand and I did," he began, "I had something to see to concerning our young lady here. I was hoping to just assure her that things was going to be taken care of so's she could let her mind rest easier but I think I did one better."

He opened the door and nodded to someone outside. Soon Addie appeared in the doorway. Heather jumped up and ran to the girl.

"Addie! Are you alright?" she cried.

"Oh Heather, I missed you so much!"

They clung to each other and no one was left unaffected by the reunion. Lou furtively dabbed at her eyes while the others felt a little like they were privy to something they weren't supposed to be in on. After a minute or two Heather straightened up and led Addie to the table where a space was made.

"Everyone," Heather said shyly, "This is Adelaide but we call her Addie."

Introductions were made all around except for Rachel because Addie already knew her teacher.

Later that evening Heather and Cody were showing Addie the horses and Cody was promising that someone would teach Addie to ride as well. Teaspoon and Rachel were sitting on the bunkhouse.

"We need to take her back home, Teaspoon," Rachel said sadly not wanting to at all. Addie was one of her special students. She didn't always get the best marks but she tried harder than anyone else and was so eager to please. Rachel had often wanted to take the girl home with her and raise her with love and attention she knew was lacking from Martin Lepley. When Heather was still in that home Rachel knew someone was paying attention to the girl but this few days Addie had come to school dirty and tired and without a lunch to eat. Besides her own concerns for Addie, she knew that having the girl here was doing wonders for Heather as well.

"If she had one, Rachel," Teaspoon said, "I would. Lepley said to take her and find someone to deal with her. Said he had no use for her and she was too much trouble. Said the boys could at least work in the fields. I didn't know where else to take her. I'm sure someone would be willing to take her in here in town. I thought maybe to ask at the church."

"I'll take her," Rachel said quickly, "If she needs a home and a mama, I'll do it. She's a sweet girl."

"I figured that much in the little time I got to spend with her. Might be good for Heather too."

* * *

><p><strong>I just had to get poor Addie away from Uncle Martin! And I don't think Heather'd ever had a birthday party before. Teaspoon is pretty awesome!-J<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

"Why don't you boys finish rounding up the dishes and take them over to the house," Rachel suggested with a tone that let them know she was being nice but it wasn't really a suggestion or request. "Lou and I need to give Heather her birthday present."

Heather looked to Cody who just smiled reassuringly at her.

"You don't need to look at me like that. You don't need anyone's permission."

Heather cast a worried glance at Addie which Cody took note of.

"Don't worry about her," he said softly, "I think Teaspoon was in the middle of telling her a story earlier. I'm sure he'll finish it now."

Mustering all of the courage she could, Heather walked over to Teaspoon who had been so wonderful to Addie and to her as well.

Teaspoon looked at the girl approaching him. She really wasn't much more than a girl but then Cody was barely more than a boy. He wanted to treat her like he had Lou—once he had learned Lou's secret that was. He wanted to put an arm around her shoulders or kiss her forehead or even hug her. In short, he wanted to show her the love and kindness a father should. He feared he'd terrify her if he tried so no one was more surprised than he when Heather wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. He hugged her back, his heart nearly bursting with the pride of having made this inroad with her. She didn't say a word but when she released him, her moist eyes spoke volumes. He patted the side of her face before scooping Addie into his arms and carrying her to the porch of the bunkhouse.

"Now where were we?" he asked, his voice still thick with emotion.

"Come on with you," Lou said pulling Heather toward the house. Lou tried not to show it but she'd been moved by what had just transpired. She was glad Heather could see Teaspoon for the good man he was. Lou knew how hard that could be when you lived a life like Heather had. The boys and Teaspoon could be scary but they ultimately were nothing to fear. They were a safe place. Lou stopped about halfway to the house. Rachel was already inside readying the surprise.

"I know this ain't going to make a lick of sense to you, Heather," Lou began, "But I need to apologize to you."

Heather's brow furrowed and Lou quickly explained.

"These boys are like brothers to me, except for Kid of course. I get protective of them and when Cody was acting all strange and in love, I jumped to some conclusions about you that weren't so nice. I was wrong about everything. You're a nice girl, Heather. You're not just good for him. You're perfect for him. Please accept my apology."

"Of course I will."

Lou felt a little better. There was still a concern that a girl with a history filled with less hurt might not have forgiven her but then there was still the issue of Heather's present which Lou hoped would go even farther toward making things right, or at the very least, assuaging her own guilt.

Heather wasn't sure what to make of Lou's confession. She understood the conclusions Lou had jumped to and wondered that everyone here hadn't thought the same things. Guilt washed over her to think that she had come between Billy and all he had for family. But then there was something more in Lou's apology, something desperate. It was almost as if Lou felt she might be losing something valuable if Heather didn't accept. Heather's blood ran cold at the thought that perhaps Billy had made some sort of ultimatum. She'd have to find out. She could not let him give up his family for her. She wasn't worth it.

The two young women entered the house with Lou excitedly leading the way to Heather's room.

"Are you ready for us, Rachel?" Lou called from just outside the door.

"I've been ready."

"Come on then," Lou said smiling widely and tugging on Heather's arm.

Following obediently along, Heather stopped short at what was before her. It was the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. The women had made it from the cloth she had picked out after falling in love with it. Perhaps it was seeing it made into something and perhaps it was the lighting in the room but Heather thought it looked even more the color of newly sprouted grass. It had a square neckline which was not high cut but wouldn't stray much below her collar bone either. It certainly would not show any cleavage. The sleeves were tight until they reached the elbow and then flared out to her wrist. The skirt was not full and had a layer that went around the back and only partway down. Everything from the edges of the skirts to the bottoms of the sleeves and the neckline was trimmed in a crisp, white lace.

"Happy birthday!" Lou and Rachel sang out in near unison.

"We thought about waiting until tomorrow to give it to you but you need to try it on while there's still enough time to alter it if it don't fit right," Lou explained, "You'll want it perfect for tomorrow night."

"It's already perfect," Heather said finally, losing the battle with her tears, "I can't wear something like this. That is a dress for proper ladies, and prettier ones besides."

Rachel pulled Heather to sit down next to her on the edge of the bed and held Heather's hands.

"What makes you less worthy of a dress like this?"

"I'm just a poor girl, not a fancy lady. My mama was a-"

"Your mama did what she had to and not having much money doesn't make you less deserving of feeling pretty," Rachel told her, "I know of one young man who doesn't think there's a prettier or more deserving young lady in the territory. Besides, maybe it's time the princess stopped living in disguise."

"Just try it on," Lou pleaded, "I can't wait to see that color next to your eyes."

Reluctantly Heather stood and allowed the ladies to help her out of the work dress she had worn that day. The work dress was fine enough for her. It had no ruffles or frills or lace but it was a pretty enough gingham print and far nicer than anything Heather had known. She actually had planned to wear one of her other dresses to the dance the next day. It was a buttery yellow color and Heather had added a small ruffle around the neckline and had allowed a little more flourish in the sleeves. It would have been fine. This green dress with the impossibly soft material was too much and she knew that the moment she spied herself in the mirror. She looked like she was trying to be someone else, someone she was not and could not ever be. She looked like she was trying to be something special. Perhaps Billy normally pursued women who could look at home in a dress like this but she knew to keep him she would have to use another tactic. There were things she could do for him when they were alone but she was also a very good cook and he would appreciate that and she could give him children. Maybe even boys to carry on his name. She surely wouldn't win or keep him wearing a dress so far above herself. She was no princess in disguise. She was no princess at all. She was a plain and poor girl whose mother had resorted to being a whore to keep a roof over her head. A dress like this one was meant for the daughter of a banker or lawyer or maybe even the mayor.

"Oh Heather!" Rachel cried out when they had finished doing up the bodice of the dress and she stood back to look at her. "You are a vision! I would venture to guess that somehow you were in mind when that cloth was made. Nothing could be more perfect for you."

Heather thought at first that Rachel was upset about making such a lavish dress for one so undeserving but then the rest of her words were so flattering and sounded so genuine.

"Wouldn't it look better on Lou maybe?"

"No," Lou said quickly, "I don't think I could wear that color like you do. Besides, I'm a boy as far as the fine citizens of Rock Creek know. I'll be at the dance holding up the wall next to Buck and Noah."

"I look ridiculous," Heather protested but her fight was waning, "I should wear the yellow dress."

Heather missed the nod that Rachel gave to Lou before she came over and stood behind Heather in front of the mirror. Lou slipped out of the room.

"Perhaps for some girls a nice work dress would be fine and maybe even for you someday," Rachel said, "But not this dance. This one is too special."

"I don't understand."

"Well, you're sixteen now," Rachel explained, "You've reached a proper courting age and it's time for society, such as it is in this town, to acknowledge a new young lady."

"But I am already getting married," Heather protested, "I don't need anyone else knowing I'm courting age but Billy."

"You've been hidden, my little princess in disguise," Rachel went on, "It's time for you to make your debut. And think of Billy. Think of how he'll feel with you on his arm wearing this dress."

"I look like a fool and he will too for being with me. I'm trying to be something I'm not."

"Come with me," Rachel said giving Heather a squeeze around the shoulders.

Heather dutifully followed her out to the sitting room and almost ran back to her own room when she spotted Jimmy and Buck standing and talking to Lou. But Rachel was behind her and would not let her turn back.

"Boys," Rachel called, "Heather wasn't quite sure about this dress. Maybe the two of you could tell her if it's right or not."

Jimmy and Buck both turned their eyes toward Heather making her feel uncomfortable and more like she wanted to run than ever. And then she had no idea how to respond to their expressions that followed. She saw their eyes widen and their mouths fall open.

"Are you boys going to just stand there gathering flies or are you going to tell the young lady what you think of her dress for the dance?" Rachel smirked with a hand on her hip.

Buck snapped his mouth shut and tried to form words. He'd rarely seen ladies in such finery outside of the dances and even then had spared them not much more than a glance. It never went well for him to be noticed ogling white women, especially the kind of women who would wear a dress like this. He certainly had never had such a vision before him nor had his opinion on the garment asked.

"Rachel, you know I always get nervous around beautiful ladies," Buck said.

"Cut yourself some slack," Jimmy piped up, "Any man would be left speechless at such a vision of beauty."

Heather felt the heat rise to her cheeks at Jimmy's words.

"It's settled then," Lou chimed in, "If you can leave that one speechless then this is the perfect dress."

"I'll say," Jimmy agreed, "If I didn't figure it would get me punched by Cody, I'd ask you to the dance myself. Any man would be honored to escort such a beautiful lady."

Heather looked at the floor and then saw an opening and dashed back down the hall to her room.

Jimmy and Buck looked at each other and then at the women.

"Did we say something wrong?" Buck asked.

"Heather's not accustomed to compliments," Rachel explained, "You boys didn't do a thing wrong. She just isn't used to being the center of attention. She's probably never heard such fine words from a young man other than Cody."

Lou stood as if to head down the hall but Jimmy stopped her.

"Please," he said, "I just want to tell her one or two things more."

Lou nodded as Jimmy made his way delicately down the hall and stood awkwardly in the doorway. She saw him knock lightly and then disappear into the room.

Jimmy only had half an idea in mind of what he wanted to tell Heather but he felt the need to say something. He tapped lightly on the inside of the doorway and nearly jumped at Heather's terrified expression.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked softly almost as when he first encountered her in the loft of the barn. She nodded and he was fully aware that she had been conditioned to say yes to nearly anything anyone might ask of her. Of course he had no plans on taking advantage of this but it still bothered him a great deal.

"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," he said after collecting his thoughts, "Most pretty girls I know have been told they're pretty plenty of times before I get to them. It didn't occur to me that maybe you hadn't heard that a lot. Truth is, you do look beautiful in that dress and Cody's going to be proud to be your escort. I want you to know that. I don't want you thinking I'm saying something just to make you feel better or nothing. I mean it. And I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Heather insisted, "I didn't act right. I don't ever know how to act and I usually mess things up."

"You're just fine and I ain't apologizing for telling you you're pretty or the dress is," Jimmy clarified, "I'm sorry that no one told you those things before. I'm sorry you had to go through the things you did. But I'm glad of something too."

Heather looked up, curiosity written all over her face.

"I'm glad you met up with Cody. He'll be good to you. I see you and I can't help thinking of my sisters. I don't know if I'd trust too many with either of them and before I saw the change in him after meeting you, Cody wouldn't have been one of the ones I would trust. But he's a different man. He must've just needed to find the right woman."

"Thank you, Jimmy," Heather said holding her head a little higher; "You really don't think this dress is too fancy?"

"I think it's perfect."

He smiled at her and then took his leave.

Heather stood a while contemplating Jimmy's words and Buck's expression at seeing her. A smile spread across her lips and she thought maybe she would be just fine with this dress after all. Maybe Billy would be envied to be with her. Maybe he would feel proud even. Walking over to the mirror to take another look at herself, Heather allowed her hips to swish a bit and then twirled around in front of the glass. She reached and freed her hair from the twist it had been in and then picked up only some of it to pile loosely on her head and twirled again smiling to herself.

Lou stood in the doorway watching the display and smiling. Jimmy always made her feel better too.

"Don't know what he said but if he don't watch himself, Jimmy's going to make that sweetheart of yours jealous," Lou finally said, "I knew the dress was missing something but I think you've discovered it. That smile is better than any frill I could put on that frock."

Heather looked over startled and embarrassed.

"Don't look like that," Lou said, "I know how you feel. You ain't been hiding you're a girl but you been hiding all the same. Feels good to come out of hiding, don't it?"

For all the possible reactions Lou thought she might get from Heather, what actually happened was something she didn't anticipate at all. Heather charged at her and wrapped her in a tight hug.

"Thank you, Lou;" Heather said softly, "This is better than I ever even dreamed."

The next day the chores were done in record time as the boys wanted to be able to have time to make themselves look their best for the fine ladies of Rock Creek. Just as the other boys were finishing studying themselves in the mirror, Lou walked into the bunkhouse.

"Where've you been all day?" Kid asked her.

"I had to finish a few alterations to Heather's dress."

"It didn't look like it needed no altering to me," Jimmy noted.

"How did you see it?" Cody wondered turning to Jimmy.

"Seems Heather was feeling insecure about it and Lou and Rachel asked me and Buck to take a look and tell her what we thought," Jimmy said defensively, "All we did is tell her she looked pretty and you'd be proud to be her escort."

"Yeah," Buck chimed in, "She just needed to hear that the dress was right."

"You could've told me," Cody sulked and he wasn't sure if he was more upset that they had seen the dress and he hadn't or that they were the ones who got to comfort her and reassure her.

"No they couldn't," Lou said, "I told 'em not to. I knew you'd try to wheedle some information about the dress out of them and Heather deserves to see your expression the first time you see it. She needs that, Cody."

"I haven't even seen her today," he whined some more.

"Well you'll see her real soon," Lou told him, "Rachel's just finishing making her pretty for you."

"When can I see her?" he asked and Jimmy tried not to laugh at him. He knew it would be taken the wrong way. He wasn't laughing at Cody so much as feeling happy for him to have someone he hated to go even a short while without seeing. It was something most of them wondered if they would ever have and Jimmy was beginning to figure out he would not. There was a pang of jealousy but he was still happy for his friend. Heather was a sweet girl and the two of them might just be very happy together and Jimmy could ask for no more than that.

"I think Rachel was nearly done fixing her hair when I left," Lou replied, "If you're ready you should go on up to the house. Rachel will let you know if she's not ready yet."

Cody took one last look in the mirror making sure his tie was right and smoothing his hair back once more. Then he smiled and began to whistle as he left the bunkhouse to head toward the house. He climbed the few steps to the porch and knocked lightly on the door. It didn't take long for Rachel to answer with a wide smile.

"Why don't you look nice, Cody?" she greeted warmly, "Come on in. I'm sure Heather will be ready real soon."

"Is she okay?" he asked, "I mean I didn't see her after supper last night and not at all today. How's she doing?"

Rachel was about to answer when something caught her eye and she nodded behind Cody.

"I think you should turn around and see for yourself."

Cody turned and standing in the hallway was truly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and he had seen some true visions before in his life. He had seen the sun rising over a meadow. He had seen a mother horse caring for her newborn. He had seen the mountains and desert and canyons and so many lovely things God gave them to gaze upon. He had seen flowers in the spring and winters that looked like the frosting on a cake. But never in his life had he seen anything as lovely as what his eyes beheld at that moment.

He stood with his mouth agape a moment or two, long enough for her to see the awe he felt looking on her and for her to smile and even giggle softly at it. Then he found his tongue and composure.

"Heather, you are absolutely beautiful," he said smiling widely, his blue eyes glittering at her. "I'm not sure how I got so lucky to be escorting the prettiest girl in town to the dance."

It was right then that little Addie ran out from behind Heather in a brand new party dress that Heather had been working on while Lou and Rachel were making her dress.

"And just when I thought I had already seen the prettiest young lady in town," Cody smiled picking the girl up and kissing her cheek before setting her down again.

"I think Teaspoon has got the buckboard ready for us," Rachel said, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather ride with us?"

"Thank you Rachel," Cody replied looking to Heather to make sure they were still of the same mind on this and he continued when he saw her smile at him. "It is a lovely evening for a stroll and I don't want to pass up a chance to walk through town with the prettiest girl in the territory on my arm."

"Then I guess we'd better get a move on. Come along Addie," Rachel prodded.

Addie turned to follow Rachel out the door but then paused and walked back to Heather.

"You're the most beautifullest lady I ever saw, Heather," she said looking up with her big eyes and then hugged Heather tightly before scampering after Rachel.

"I hate asking when you're looking at me so happy and all but your uncle never hurt her, did he?"

Heather shook her head, "He tried to pretend she didn't exist most of the time. She looks exactly like her mother. When he did notice her he would get sad and drink more and pass out faster. It used to scare me how he might get when she got to looking more like a woman though."

"She's free now, Heather," he assured her, "Just like you are. And I think Rachel kind of likes taking care of her. I think she might just want to keep on caring for her. She tries not to play favorites with her students but Addie's a favorite."

"Thank you," she said, "For saving us. I don't know what made you even want to and I tried to push you away but…thank you."

Cody bent and caught her lips in a tender kiss then pulled his head back flashing a wide smile.

"We had better get a move on before rumors get going;" he told her offering his arm, "Shall we?"

Heather returned his smile and rested her hand on his offered arm and allowed herself to be led out of the house and toward the dance. She felt awkward at first but then looked over at Billy. His head was high and his chest swelled with pride. It made her feel good to see how proud he looked. She smiled and tightened her fingers around his arm and allowed her own pride to come forth. Surely no other girl there would have so handsome an escort.

Cody chanced a glance at Heather and it did his heart good to see her smile and hold her head high. He had seen far too much of her ducking her head and avoiding eye contact and far too little of her smiles.

"I don't think I thanked you properly for my birthday gift," Heather said, breaking the silence between them, "It is beautiful. I have never had such a beautiful thing."

"Now that's not true," Cody said softly, "I'm pretty sure you were born with that lovely face."

"Billy," she said looking away and blushing but he brought her face back to him with a finger alongside her cheek.

"Don't you 'Billy' me," he went on playfully, "I need to be able to tell the woman I love how beautiful she is. You are beautiful, Heather. I thought so the first time I set eyes on you. Someday I'll have you believing it too."

"When I'm with you I almost do."

Heather could hear the music and merriment before they were upon the meeting hall. She squeezed Billy's arm once again as she closed her eyes taking in the sounds.

"I'm so excited, Billy," she nearly squealed.

Cody's smile threatened to break his face in half at her glee at the prospect of the dance.

"I guess it's time for you to debut into society, such as it is."

They walked through the door and Heather felt the eyes upon her. She clung tighter to Billy suddenly wondering what possessed her to agree to this in the first place. There were whispers all around and Heather wanted to run away but Billy held her hand tight to his arm.

"Don't you worry, Heather," he whispered to her, "Every girl here wants to be you in that dress and every man wants to be me and have you on his arm."

"Everyone is looking at me, Billy," she whined, "I want to go now."

"If there was a beautiful painting on the wall everyone would be looking at that too," Cody said, "We stare at flowers all the time and they don't try to run and hide."

"Have I taught you nothing, Cody?" Teaspoon said interrupting their hushed conversation. Cody just looked up blankly at the older man. "You're at a dance with a beautiful young lady. A lady looking like that should be danced with. If you're not going to do it, I've half a mind to dance with her myself."

"You just wait your turn, Teaspoon," Cody replied turning to Heather, "I believe we really need to get that dress and the beautiful woman inside it out on the dance floor."

The color drained from Heather's face and she rose onto her toes to lean her mouth close to Billy's ear.

"I don't know how to dance," she whispered.

"That's alright," he whispered in reply, "I do and I have to lead anyway. You just follow along and you'll be just fine."

He was gratified with the look of trust she gave him then and he led her to the floor and placed a hand gently on her waist taking her other hand in his. Heather looked a little uncertain and he whispered, "On my shoulder."

Heather could scarcely move when he began to pull her around the floor but soon her feet were following almost of their own accord. Then she felt like she was floating. The music slowed and Billy pulled her a little closer to where she could just rest her head on his chest. His heart beat steadily and she felt safe. People were still watching her every move and whispering among themselves to try to figure who this lovely mystery woman was but Heather no longer noticed. For her there was no one in the world except for Billy and her. It was magical and she truly felt that maybe her mother had been right about her being a princess. She felt like a princess right then in the dress with the pretty cameo around her neck and Billy's arms strong around her.

The musicians took a break and Cody led Heather from the dance floor. He quickly found where his family was standing and left Heather with them while he went to fetch some punch.

"Well you sure do have the ladies in town all a twitter trying to figure out where you came from," Jimmy said sidling up to her, "They are speculating all kinds of strange things and I think I even heard one guess you might be royalty or at least from Europe or some such thing. We could go right ahead and tell them you are a princess. That could be fun."

Cody was walking up with the punch right about then.

"Are you trying to steal my girl, Jimmy?" he said playfully and then softened even more when he saw Heather's look of fear. "Honey, I am just teasing and he'd do the same to me if places was switched. I know he couldn't steal you if he tried, could he?"

She just shook her head and looked to Jimmy.

"I couldn't lie like that," she said returning to their previous talk.

"Wouldn't be lying on your part," he reminded her.

"Are you going to let me in on this or not?" Cody asked and was quickly caught up on the topic. He smiled widely. "Sure would be fun to mess around a little with some of these folks who look down their noses at other people. Why plenty of them have even seen you before, Heather. They just don't recognize you because you're wearing a nice dress and got your hair all piled up and pretty. It's like that story Teaspoon was telling us about that girl Cinderella. Even her own family didn't know her while she was at the ball."

"If you boys can't think of a thing to do with a pretty gal right in front of you besides talk her ears off, then you'd best step aside," Teaspoon said taking Heather's hand and kissing it as he bowed to her. "My dear I wonder if you would grant me the honor of this dance."

Heather giggled and followed Teaspoon onto the dance floor. He twirled her for a few songs before Jimmy cut in. Heather was only too happy to dance with Jimmy as he had been so kind to her but she still searched the room for Billy. She had come to the dance with him after all.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about Cody," Jimmy said easily, "He caught a few dances with Rachel and I believe he is currently teaching little Addie to dance."

Heather smiled at him gratefully and allowed him to lead her around the floor. After a song or two she leaned to whisper in Jimmy's ear.

"Why don't Buck and Noah dance?"

"Any woman seen dancing with Buck better figure to marry him 'cause most other men won't look at her after that and I ain't so sure how legal it is to dance with Noah," he answered and Heather could see it pained him to think such things. "Legal or not he might still get lynched for such a thing."

"If the lady asked Noah would it be any better for him?"

"Not likely," he replied.

"But I could ask Buck," she ventured, "Billy wouldn't think ill of me for dancing with him, would he?"

"Of course not," Jimmy smiled back at her, "He'd probably love you all the more. I believe I could even escort you over to him."

Heather soon found herself right next to where Buck was leaning against a wall.

"Buck?" she said tentatively causing him to turn to face her. "I know it might not be proper for a girl to ask but would you care to dance with me? Billy seems busy with Addie and she has to leave soon so I don't want to spoil her fun…"

"I'd like that a great deal, Heather," he answered giving her a lopsided grin. He offered his hand and they walked out on the dance floor finding themselves being given a wide berth.

"People are really going to talk about you now, Heather," Buck cautioned, giving her one last out.

"They are already talking," she said with a smile, "It seems a few even think I am a princess or something from some far off land. They never noticed me before and they notice all the wrong things about you. You are a kind a gentle man."

"I hope you're real certain about marrying Cody because I doubt any other man will have you now that we've danced."

"If I wasn't sure before, I am now," she replied simply, "Any man that would fail to see you for what you truly are and judge me for seeing it is not a man I would want."

After another tune played through, Buck felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Cody standing there.

"If you don't mind too terribly," Cody said barely noticing the hush that came over the room as people realized that there may be a conflict at one man realizing a man like Buck was dancing with his girl. "I thought I might ask the lady if she would favor me with this dance."

Buck and Cody both looked to Heather who nodded. Buck bowed and kissed the back of her hand and she curtsied to him before being handed off to her love.

"Thank you for dancing with Addie," she said beaming at him and thinking for the first time that maybe someday she would have children that were not the children of others but of her very own and that maybe they would be Billy's too and maybe he would be the father she always dreamed of having. He would teach the boys to shoot and fish and other important things men needed and he would dote on his girls and tell them they were beautiful and he would teach them to dance in the parlor but then get protective when any of the boys in the town wanted to dance with them.

"Addie's a sweet girl," he told her, "But Rachel's getting her home and to bed now so I can get back to the girl I most want to dance with. I did notice the others kept you busy."

"Where are the others?" Heather asked suddenly not being able to see any of them save Teaspoon.

"I would expect they left along with Rachel. Kid and Lou can't dance with who they want to, Noah can't dance with anyone and Buck already danced with the only partner who'd offer."

"Should we leave also?"

He shook his head allowing himself to get lost in the future he saw in her striking eyes.

"I think we should stay until the band calls it a night."

So they danced the rest of the night away until they were the last two souls left dancing and the band was too tired to continue playing. Even Teaspoon had called it a night and gone down to his office to keep an eye on the town from there.

The two strolled toward the station with Heather's hand nestled into the crook of Cody's arm and so lost in the magic of the night that they did not notice someone following them. As they passed an alley, Cody tugged Heather into it and pulled her tighter to him pressing his lips to hers. When he pulled back Heather looked worried.

"Here Billy? In town," she worried, "Someone could see us."

"There's no one to see," he assured her, "Besides, we're engaged so there ain't nothing wrong with sharing a kiss or two. That's all I'm asking for, honey."

She looked around once more before seeing that, to her eyes anyway, he was right and there was no one around. It sort of frightened her that there was no one. If he should decide he wanted more than a kiss or two…But then she shoved the thought from her mind and knew in her heart that her sweet Billy would never hurt her or force her. Smiling, she pulled him toward her once again and allowed him to deepen the kiss. It surprised her when she felt stirrings of desire within her. Heather hadn't ever thought she would feel those things again but now she did and it felt good. She still wasn't ready for the things they had done before but she knew now that in time she might be.

So caught up in their passion were they that they didn't look up until Cody heard the distinct click of a pistol being cocked.

"I knowed you was just a stupid whore like your ma, girl," Martin Lepley hissed, "Thought you had more brains though, boy. Right now you got something don't belong to you."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay this chapter kicked my tuchus and got way longer than I anticipated...but Heather got to enjoy being the belle of the ball before we cued the forboding music.-J<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

"Don't know why you came over here, Jimmy," Teaspoon said studying the young man across the desk from him.

"Told you," Jimmy replied easily, "Didn't feel like going home just yet. Besides, you might just need help what with the dance just getting over and all. You know not everyone was sticking to the punch. I saw quite a few getting a nip out of a flask."

"I'm touched, son," the marshal said as he finished setting up the checkers board. "But if I needed help I'd ask for it."

"Maybe I was really just hankering to beat you at checkers."

"You think you're going to beat me?" Teaspoon asked raising an eyebrow.

"Unless you learned some new moves since yesterday," Jimmy smirked.

"That was a fluke," Teaspoon grumped in reply.

A half hour or so later found Jimmy smiling triumphantly and about to make one last move to beat the old man. His hand was on his piece and he had just opened his mouth to declare himself the winner when the peace of Rock Creek was shattered by a flurry of gunshots and the shrill scream of a woman. Jimmy was out the door with one of his Colts drawn, frozen and listening to hear where the commotion had come from, before the scream died away. He almost jumped when he saw someone beside him but relaxed when he realized it was Teaspoon. The screams started again, this time forming words. The men could only make out 'no' and oh dear God'. But at least they could draw a bead on the direction. They both took off running.

* * *

><p>Cody turned toward the sound of the pistol cocking, toward the sound of Martin Lepley's voice. He found himself staring into the face of Heather's nightmares. It was a face that haunted his own sleep and even waking hours. This was the face that could have taken his world from him. It was the face that tried to destroy all that he knew was good and beautiful. Cody released Heather and nudged her behind him where he hoped she would stay. He hadn't protected her before but he would be damned if the bastard in front of him was ever going to touch her again, not while William Cody still drew breath.<p>

He took a moment to assess the man who held a gun on him. Lepley was drunk. This was both an advantage and a disadvantage. A man could be reasoned with but a bottle of whiskey could not so there was no talking his way out of this. But then a drunken man was slower and less stable. Lepley was swaying slightly from side to side and that might prove useful. What Cody did next did not come from the bag of tricks officially taught to him and the others by Teaspoon but it was learned from the old man all the same.

"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about," Cody said sweetly and with a wide smile.

"Billy," Heather whimpered from behind him and he reached back with his left hand catching her arm and giving it a squeeze that he hoped might reassure her and keep her safely behind him.

"The girl," Lepley growled, "She's mine. Hand her over."

Cody's smile grew even wider. What that smile hid would have frightened the bravest of men but he was a natural actor and showman after all.

"You know how my daddy died?" he asked with sugar dripping from every word. He paused a moment before the smile fell away from his face and he answered his own question. "He died for believing that no human being belongs to another. My daddy was a good man, maybe the best I've known and that's saying a lot right there. Anything he felt was worth dying for, well, you know I am going to have to hold that dear to me. This lovely young lady—who has a name—don't belong to you or no one else. Heather stays right here with me."

"Billy, no," Heather whispered in terror, "Don't make him angry."

Cody just stared at Lepley defiantly.

"I said hand her over," Lepley repeated emphasizing his point by waving the gun a bit.

"And I said I would not."

Heather stood behind Billy knowing that she could save him. It was in her power if only she could make her feet work and step out from behind him. It would even be worth whatever might follow if she could know that this beautiful man was safe and that she had saved him. Uncle Martin already had his gun drawn and he was sure to shoot Billy and Heather was just standing there helpless to make the move to save him. She couldn't believe her ears as Billy egged her uncle on, making him more and more angry.

Then everything seemed to happen all at once. Uncle Martin raised his gun and Billy grabbed for his. While he freed his pistol from the holster at his side, he shoved Heather back almost hard enough to knock her from her feet. There were gunshots. She thought maybe three or four but she just shut her eyes and screamed.

There was silence then and Heather dared open her eyes to see both men on the ground. Screaming again, she ran to Billy. He wasn't moving.

Jimmy reached the alley before Teaspoon and the scene before him stopped him cold for a moment. Two figures were on the ground and another, a woman, was kneeling and crying over one of them. The woman's words broke through to him.

"Billy, oh God, Billy," she wailed. It was Heather which meant that was Cody there on the ground. Just as that was registering to him, something else caught his eye. The other figure on the ground was moving, crawling toward the young lovers and raising his gun. Jimmy's senses were now heightened and he quickly recognized Martin Lepley. His gun already in his hand, Jimmy fired and felled the man without thinking at all. He'd barely aimed and yet he was absolutely certain no one would ever have to fear that man again.

Heather started and looked up when she heard the gunshot next to her. It was more that she was startled than actually fearful. She feared nothing in that moment. Billy had not stirred and she was becoming increasingly more sure that he was dead, gone from her. Death for herself would be a welcome relief but there was no pain from a bullet. Instead there was Jimmy and Teaspoon standing in the alley over her. Teaspoon crouched down and put his arms around her trying to pull her away. She couldn't leave him though. Perhaps she could be buried in the grave with him and then she would never have to leave his side. How she could have thought for even a moment that she could have the kind of night she'd had and not suffer for it, she couldn't figure. Still she cursed God in her head for showing her what it was to be loved and then snatching it from her so cruelly.

Teaspoon feared the worst seeing Heather crying over Cody. He couldn't fathom that a boy who only hours before he had seen laughing and dancing and smiling wider than he thought a man could smile was lying motionless and possibly lifeless before him. He held Heather tight to him swearing that if the worst was true that he would look after the boy's love for him. He'd make sure she had family and knew love and that no harm would come to her and if someday she should be able to move on, Teaspoon would be there to make sure that the fella she found was good enough. It was the least he could do for his boy. Of course there was a desperate prayer within his aged and aching head that the boy might be alive. He wasn't sure he could fully stand to lose another of his boys so soon. It seemed they had just said their goodbyes to dear Ike. Teaspoon wasn't sure how he could very well set pen to paper to tell Emma he'd failed her once more.

The alley was silent aside from Heather's sobs. Her screaming had stopped when she had jumped at the sound of the shot that killed her uncle. Jimmy walked over to his brother hearing his boots crunch on the stones in the dirt of the alley floor. He wasn't much of a praying man but he said one then. He was willing to promise all sorts of things—things he could deliver and things he could not—if only he didn't have to tell that poor, frail creature in Teaspoon's arms that her true love was dead. Hell, he wasn't sure he could bury another brother. He was supposed to go first. He was the one destined for an early grave. That was the deal. Jimmy didn't always like it but he had come to terms with it all the same. Now God didn't want to keep his end of the bargain. First Ike who never hurt a soul and was only trying to save a woman he'd fallen in love with and now Cody who was supposed to go on to fame and fortune. Cody was meant for great things, not being shot down in an alley like a dog. With a grim look Jimmy squatted down next to Cody and placed a hand on his chest. At first he thought he was imagining things, falling prey to wishful thinking but then he was sure of it. Ever so faintly, he could feel Cody's heart beating beneath his hand.

"He's alive," Jimmy near shouted and he reached down to sling the man over his shoulder. He nearly ran to the doc's and pounded on the door as like to raise the very dead. The doctor opened his door cautiously and bleary eyed, possibly not even coherent enough to realize he was there in a nightshirt. Whatever of sleep might still have laid claim to the doctor, it was gone the moment he saw the gravity of Jimmy's eyes. He knew the man had a temper but never knew him to be unduly excitable. Jimmy pushed past the doc to carry Cody in and then found himself pushed out of the room. He was pacing rapidly around the entryway when Teaspoon and Heather came in. Heather was leaning so heavily on the older man that he might as well have been carrying her. Jimmy saw the girl's knees buckle under her and reached just in time to catch her. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to a small couch that was there for patients waiting to be seen.

"I don't expect doc will be out for a bit," Teaspoon said wearily, "You should take Heather home and see if she can't get some rest."

Jimmy moved to follow the order that seemed to make sense to him but Heather punched at him and when he pulled back she looked at him with her eyes full of a fire he'd seen before but never in those pale greenish yellow eyes of hers.

"No," she said sharply, "I'm staying right here."

Jimmy walked over to Teaspoon. He knew sleep would be good for her but also knew she wouldn't be getting any until she had word about Cody anyway.

"How about you sit with her and I go back to the station and see if I can get some clothes for her to change into. Something more comfortable for her. Maybe I can bring Rachel to see to her. Lou and the boys can look after Addie."

Teaspoon nodded his agreement. He understood Heather and knew she needed to be close and if anything happened to that boy in the next room and Teaspoon had kept her from seeing him, he might not forgive himself.

* * *

><p>Rachel woke when she felt the bed shift next to her. Rolling she could see the shape of the little girl who had so stolen her heart.<p>

"Couldn't you sleep, Addie?"

"No," the little girl said softly, "Heather's not there. I ain't used to sleeping here alone."

Rachel took note of how dark it was and figured how late it must be and worked to temper her anger.

"Heather hasn't come back at all?" she asked thinking how angry she would be if Cody had used that magical night to get Heather to do something she wasn't ready for.

Addie shook her head and Rachel lifted the blankets so that the girl could cuddle close to her and get some sleep. She had just settled in herself and allowed her eyes to drift closed when she heard the banging on the front door.

"You stay right where you are, Addie," she told the girl as she ran to the front room and took up the shotgun that sat next to the door. She lowered the weapon once she recognized Jimmy's voice hollering through the door.

"Jimmy what on earth are you doing pounding on my door at this time of night?"

Her anger melted and she could feel the blood in her veins turn to ice when she caught his face in the scant light of the moon.

"What happened?"

"Get dressed and get a change of clothes for Heather," Jimmy instructed seemingly ignoring her question, "Bring Addie to me and I'll take her out and bunk her down with Lou. Meet me at the bunkhouse and I'll explain."

Rachel wanted to question further but something in Jimmy's tone told her not to. She turned on her heel and soon was back with Addie in her arms. Jimmy took the child from her and began walking toward the bunkhouse.

"What's the matter, Jimmy?" she asked him, "Where's Heather and Billy?"

"They're still in town, sweetie," he told her, "I need Rachel's help with something right now so I need you to go in and sleep in the bunkhouse. You can have my bed or Cody's or you could even sleep with Louise if you wanted to."

He put her down as he walked into the little bunkhouse and she quickly crawled into Cody's bunk. The others had obviously not been bedded down long enough to be very sound asleep and they all sat up in question. Jimmy sighed and walked over to Kid and Lou first and very quietly explained what had happened. They naturally wanted to come with him but he reminded them that someone needed to watch over Addie and that the doc's waiting area was no place for that child, especially with Heather in the state she was in. He then nodded to Buck and Noah that they could come with him if they wanted. They quickly dressed and followed him out to where Rachel was standing and waiting for them. As they walked toward the doc's, Jimmy filled them all in on what he knew of the events of the night.

"Poor Heather," Rachel said feeling guilty for doubting Cody and jumping to the conclusion that she had. She owed him an apology and only hoped she'd be able to offer it to him.

Heather sat on the little couch and waited. Her tears had stopped a while before but she didn't feel any better for them. She stared at the lace on her beautiful dress and wanted to scream and tear it to shreds. It had made her think she was something she wasn't. If she hadn't forgotten her place, she would have gone to Uncle Martin and Billy—her sweet, sweet Billy—would be at the bunkhouse with his family. He might be sad for a while but it wouldn't be long before he found a girl worthy of him and she would catch his eye and then he could have the life he wanted. Heather was not worthy of him and never would be. She was no princess from a far off land and she was no one who ought to be wearing such finery. She could have saved him and she didn't. Everything was her fault. If he died that would be her fault to. She could feel Teaspoon rubbing her arm and his arm tight around her shoulders. She wanted to shake him off and scream that she wasn't worth his kindness. She had gotten one of his boys hurt and possibly killed. He shouldn't care for her. He should hate her. He should turn her out and send her away like the trash she was. She would have said and done all that but she just didn't have the strength. And besides, his arm felt good around her. His comfort felt so very good to her and she wanted it a while longer even though she did not deserve it at all.

The door opened and from the street walked Jimmy. Heather couldn't face him anymore than she could face any of the others. Jimmy had been so kind and gentle to her. He had said she reminded him of his sister but now she had caused something terrible to happen to his brother and surely he wouldn't be able to still care for her now. But then Jimmy knelt in front of her.

"How are you holding up?" he asked so tenderly. She looked at him and shrugged her shoulders and then nearly jumped back when his hand reached to touch her face. "Cody's tough. He's likely to come through this just because the story's too good to not be able to tell. Rachel's here if you want to get into more comfortable clothes. I think she brought some."

"Addie," Heather said.

"Lou and Kid are keeping an eye on her. I didn't tell her what happened. She can find out later but I thought she'd need her sleep."

Heather nodded and Jimmy was pushed away by Rachel who had brought a change of clothes for Heather. It was only then that Heather even looked down to see the front of her dress was soaked in blood. Billy's blood. There was so much of it and it scared her like nothing else that night had.

Dawn broke and little had changed in the tiny waiting area. Heather was wearing one of her work dresses but she was back on the little couch with Teaspoon's arm protectively around her. She had no tears left to cry and therefore only stared straight ahead as if the opposing wall held all the secrets of the universe. Rachel sat on the other side of Heather holding the girl's hand. Noah and Buck had staked out a couple of chairs and Jimmy sat on the floor near the couch—when he sat at all. Mostly he paced and looked out the window and then paced some more. From time to time he would take his place on the floor but that only ever lasted a few short minutes before he was up and pacing again.

Noah thought how Jimmy reminded him of Pete the Tiger and wished more than anything that he could hear Cody's off-key warbling of O Susannah again. It would be the sweetest music in all the world.

At long last the doctor came out and looked to the pieced together family in his waiting area. It wasn't the first time he had thought of this family and was reminded of quilts that his dearly departed wife had made. She would take scraps of cloth from clothes the children had outgrown. Colors and patterns that were never meant to go together somehow found a home together and created something new and beautiful and oddly cohesive but to have looked at any of the pieces separately they would have seemed to clash and be good for not a heck of a lot.

The family looked expectantly at the little man who had emerged from the other room. He knew he was still covered in his patient's blood and hated that he was addressing the loved ones in this state but there was little choice. He had fought the entire night to patch the young man on his table together. He hated losing patients, although he supposed most doctors did, but he especially hated to see the young ones go. People die and that is a fact of life. To be powerless against the death of someone who has lived a long and productive life was not the tragedy it might seem to some but to be helpless to save someone so young as this boy brought to him in the night, well that was something he took very hard.

"Well, Doc," Teaspoon spoke up as he was the one to speak for the group, the head of their little family, such as it was. "How is he?"

"I've done what I can, Teaspoon," the doc said, "He's alive and that's the best I can say right now. He lost an awful lot of blood. I think I've got it clean enough to keep away infection but really it's up to him and how hard he wants to fight."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry. I really am. Please don't get the pitchforks out. Please!-J<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

The doctor's words hung in the air. There was no imminent death sentence for Cody but neither was there a guarantee. He was weakened and he needed to be the one to want to survive. Their eyes went to Heather who just sat there as if no words had been spoken. Finally Rachel spoke up.

"Can we see him?" she asked.

"Might be a good idea if you did. Maybe if he hears the voices of those who love him he'll try harder to stay with you all."

"Come on Heather," Rachel said prying the girl loose from the grip Teaspoon had around her shoulders. It was almost reluctantly that Heather came with the other woman. "You should be the first one to see him, being his sweetheart and all."

Rachel was able to pull Heather into the room where Cody lay motionless on a bed. Heather had no choice really but to look at him. His chest was wrapped in bandages and if she paid attention she could see where he was shot by the small spots where the blood had seeped through. She wanted to run but Rachel made her stay. Her sweet Billy was there but he wasn't smiling at her, he wasn't reaching to hold her, he was just laying there. She couldn't see his beautiful blue eyes and the color had drained from his lips.

Heather allowed herself to be led to the chair next to the bed where Billy lay but she did not sit. She took his hand in hers and for a moment remembered all that hand represented. She remembered every time he had gently wiped away a tear or tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She nearly shivered at the recollection of every moment of pleasure that hand and its mate had given her. But she dropped the hand quickly when she felt how cold it was. If Heather had not been able to see Billy's chest rising and falling, she would have believed him dead. He was cold and pale and she had made him this way. She turned and bolted from the room and onto the street. The town was just coming to life as it started its day. She could see the people beginning to walk out onto the street in their best clothes and head toward the church. They paid no mind to the distraught young woman fighting back tears on the boardwalk in front of the doctor's office.

Inside Rachel was heading for the door but Jimmy's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Let me," he said, "You go talk to Cody."

Jimmy walked out the door and was surprised at the light as if his own personal tragedy and sadness could keep the sun from rising over the rest of the world. It somehow didn't seem right that the sun should still rise and set and that folks would still go on with their lives while he and the rest of the people he held most dear saw their own lives come to a halt. He saw Tompkins heading toward the church and stopped the man with a hand on his arm.

"Good morning, Jimmy," Tompkins said jovially but then his face lost all humor when he saw Jimmy's and then spotted Heather looking as if she might crumble.

"Don't suppose you could do me a favor, Tompkins?" Jimmy asked and then went on without waiting for a reply. "Cody's in a bad way. You know I ain't the most religious man but we need all the help we can get. If you think of it while you're at the church this morning, say a prayer for him, would you?"

Tompkins merely nodded and squeezed a hand to Jimmy's shoulder briefly.

Jimmy then walked over and saw to the real reason he was out there in the first place. Heather was standing next to the door with her face to the wall and he could see the struggle within her still frail body to refrain from crying.

She heard him come out of the building and she heard him ask Mr. Tompkins to pray for her Billy. Oh who was she fooling? He was not her Billy anymore. If he lived he would never want to see her again and the others would probably drive her off before then even. She would never call him hers again. He was never meant to be hers and this just proved it. She had done this. He was cold and pale and she had done this. She should have tried harder to keep him away. She should have never spoken to him at all. She surely should not have made love with him. Heather knew she shouldn't have run from Uncle Martin. If she hadn't run, if she had stayed…maybe Billy would be alright. Even the night before she could have saved him. She could have stepped out from behind him and gone home to her fate. It would have been that simple. Uncle Martin would have taken her back. He would have been cruel for a while but he would not have shot Billy. Now Uncle Martin was dead and Billy nearly so and it was all over her. She wasn't worth anyone dying over.

Jimmy wound an arm around her shoulders and felt her tense under his touch.

"Come with me," he said gently and led her down to the marshal's office. He knew it would be empty. Every man who was ever there was at the doc's place. Once inside the door, Jimmy pulled Heather tighter to him. "Let it out."

"What?" she asked, her voice muffled slightly by his shirt.

"Whatever," he said, "I know you're hurting. I know you're scared. Scream, cry, hit me or something else. Whatever you got to do to get yourself right again, do it now."

"Why would I hit you?"

"Because I'm here and alive and your uncle ain't and you've got to be awful mad," he answered patiently, "Just do what you need so you can get back there and see to that man you love."

"I can't go back there," she whispered, "It's all my fault. I can't face him—or you for that matter."

She turned away from him, or tried to, but Jimmy grabbed her arm and spun her forcefully back toward him.

"First of all, you didn't cause this," he growled, "That bastard I shot last night did. He caused it all. Second of all, you deal with your guilt or anything else you have right here and now. A man more like a brother to me than any of my actual brothers is lying in that bed and Doc says he only lives if he fights for it. Only one thing will make him fight and that's you. I just lost one brother and I ain't losing another. You take your moment to cry or scream or wallow in guilt and you do it here and now. Then you march down there and give that man something to live for. I ain't asking."

Jimmy stood there seething. He hadn't meant to yell at her but damn it, they just lost Ike and their family could not take another hit. He was looking at the one person with the power to save Cody. She just had to. His stomach nearly turned when her oddly colored eyes rose to meet his. She looked so young and small and he could see her breath was uneven.

"I'm scared," she choked out before dissolving into tears.

Jimmy opened his arms to her and she nearly flew into them finally allowing the tears to fall. He could feel them soaking his shirt front and knew there were plenty of his own falling as well.

"Me too," he said, "Me too."

They stood that way a while and then Heather pushed away from him, wiped her eyes and set her jaw.

"I need to get back to him," she told him firmly, "I'm not sure what to do when I get there but he was always there when I needed him and I have to be there for him. I can't leave him alone."

Jimmy put an arm lightly around her back to lead her out of the office and down the street.

"Just talk to him so he knows you're there. That should be enough."

Jimmy watched Heather walk back to the doc's. Her head was held high and determined. He hadn't seen this look from her before but it was good on her all the same. He figured Cody would be happy to see it.

Heather walked into the doctor's office and into the room where her sweet Billy still lay. He was hers and always would be. She was silly before to not realize it or to think anything had changed. She felt the eyes of the others as she entered the room.

"Why are you looking like that?" she demanded, "You all look as though you're saying goodbye. You are not saying goodbye. He's not going anywhere. The rest of you are though. If you can't believe in him, then get out. I'll take care of him."

The others thought to protest but Jimmy stood behind her and gave them a look that said they'd better do what she said. Then he leaned down and whispered softly to her.

"One of us will be right outside all the time if you need anything at all. Just bring him back to us, okay?"

Heather nodded solemnly and once he was out of the room she walked slowly to the chair by the bedside of her love. She took his hand in hers and pressed it to her lips.

"The doctor said you'll be alright," she began, "Well, that's not entirely what he said. He said that it was up to you now to fight to live. But I know you'll fight, Billy. I know you'll fight to stay with me and I know you can't let Uncle Martin win like that. You can't let him kill what we have."

She kissed his hand again and then brushed his hair from his face. There was a bowl of water on the table and a cloth next to it. She dabbed the cloth in the water and stroked his forehead and cheeks with it while she continued speaking.

"He's dead by the way. Uncle Martin, I mean. I am sure it is awful of me but I hadn't even thought until now about the boys. I suppose at some point we'll have to figure out what to do with five unruly boys but right now I think they can fend for themselves. Paul is nearly thirteen and can see to the others well enough for now. I'd tell you all what happened but I don't remember it too clearly myself. I think that you must have wounded him and I think Jimmy killed him. It's sort of hazy to me right now. I'm sure if I want the details someone can tell me later. All that really matters though is that Uncle Martin is dead and you are not. Nothing else really matters at all. We can get married once you are well again. I never stopped wanting that, not for a moment. Someday I will end my every day safe in your arms and wake the same way. It is all I ever could have hoped for. Rachel asked me once to consider if I wasn't so intent on running away from something that I wasn't really running toward anything. I wondered too but it just worked out that to run away from the bad I could run toward the good. In the alley I thought you were dead and I knew right then and there that I would never love again."

There was still no response from the man on the bed but that did not discourage Heather. She knew that it would take time and time she had. She had her whole life to wait for him and she would for there would be nothing else to her life if he did not find his way back to her. She would not even entertain such a thought. He would be fine. He would wake up and he would heal and they would marry. That was all there was to it.

Heather reached for the pitcher on the table and poured two glasses. She took a long drink from one and then slid a hand under Billy's head tilting it up and then pouring a tiny trickle into his mouth. She didn't expect him to swallow and he didn't but if she kept his mouth from getting too dry that was something. She kissed him lightly on the forehead and then firmly on the lips before settling back into the chair.

"I'm not leaving," she announced to him, "You haven't seen it from me but Mama used to say I could be stubborn as any mule and more contrary besides."

Sighing, she got up from the chair and leaned out the door of the room. Noah was sitting there reading a book.

"Can I get you something, Heather?" he asked jumping to his feet when he noticed her head peeking out the door.

"Yes, Noah, you could," she answered, "I would appreciate my sewing basket and if Rachel has any mending that needs doing, send that as well. I might just as well keep my hands busy. And if you can find something I can read to him, bring that, too. Not those stupid dime novels though. I had enough of those from Paul and his brothers. I'm sure you or Rachel have good books."

Heather did not wait for a reply. She simply ducked back inside the room. She almost felt bad about telling Noah not to bring the dime novels. She knew Billy liked them a good amount but she also knew he liked other things and she never had a high opinion of those stories. She had an even lower one now. Paul had to have read the one about Wild Bill more times than she could count. If he had only spent that much time on the rest of his reading and his math, he would have been a top student. She thought the book was horrible anyway and then once she met the real Wild Bill she knew how very terrible it was. Billy had told her that nothing in the book was true but having met Jimmy herself, she couldn't figure how anyone could even see him capable of the things he did in that book. Sure he had killed Uncle Martin without thought or flinching but he was saving his brother's life. He could never kill someone in cold blood. Billy wouldn't call him brother if he could.

She sat back down and took his hand once more tracing the veins and bringing the hand once again to her lips.

"Thank you," she said softly, "I think I am almost glad for your silence for once. Almost. I still wish you could speak to me, open your eyes, anything. But at least you can't brush my gratitude away this time. Thank you. You saved me, you know. Like those stories about maidens trapped in towers who are rescued by brave knights, you saved me. The dragon's dead. You know what else you did for me? Well, I spent a lot of time mad at Mama for telling me stupid stories about being a princess in disguise. And even madder at her for making me promise to remember and believe it. I felt foolish to do that. But last night I was a princess and not in disguise. And every day that you look at me I am a princess. Your eyes tell me I am. And they will again, I hope. Unless you are angry with me. I could have saved you. It wouldn't have been hard either. I could have gone to him and he wouldn't have shot you. But you will get all better and even if you are mad at me, even if you don't want me, I will be fine in knowing that you are alright."

Heather sat a while longer in silence, just holding Billy's hand. When the door opened she expected to either see the doctor or Noah but instead it was Lou who came in.

"I needed to see him," Lou said, "And you."

"There's been no change," Heather told her nodding at Billy, "Yet."

"Didn't expect one yet. Cody's got a flair for the dramatic. Waking up this soon would be too easy on us all. He'll set the scene a while longer I expect."

Lou turned toward the man on the bed.

"Ain't that right, Cody?" she called out to him, "You need to make sure we're all thinking how much we love you and would hate to lose you and then you'll wake up for us."

Heather noted the genuine belief within Lou that Billy would, in fact, be alright and hugged the other woman tightly.

"I brought the things you wanted Noah to get you," Lou said, "Can't say I blame you wanting something to keep you busy. He ain't exactly the life of the party right now, is he?"

Heather shook her head and Lou noticed how weary the poor thing looked.

"You didn't get any sleep last night, did you?" Lou asked being answered with another head shake. "I could sit with him—read a bit or something—while you go get yourself a nap."

"I am not leaving him," Heather said solidly. Lou understood. In Heather's place she doubted she'd be leaving to rest and knew for a fact that if Heather left this room there would be no rest for her.

"How's Addie?" Heather inquired while Lou was setting books down.

"She's doing fine," Lou told her, "We had to tell her at least some of what happened. I didn't tell her all. I guessed Rachel ought to be the one to tell her about her pa being dead and all."

"She'll be sad but she'll be better off too."

"I know she will," Lou agreed, "Rachel will take good care of her now." Lou paused and looked around. "I could stay for a while if you'd like some company."

"We'll be fine, Lou," Heather assured her, "I'm glad you came and I know Billy is too even if he won't say it."

Once Heather was once again alone with Billy she collapsed back into the chair and took up one of Jimmy's shirts that needed mending. She shook her head at how rough the boys could be on clothes but then they worked hard and at least she wasn't trying to piece together bullet holes. In fact, she was nearly certain he had torn this shirt getting thrown from one of the new horses. She'd much rather stitch up the shirts of men who worked hard and took care of their own than those of selfish boys who rough housed and treated her badly.

"Oh I shouldn't be so hard on the boys, should I?" she said to Billy, "It's not their fault. They only did what their father taught them. Paul was sweet once and I think little Tommy still is somewhere inside. If he wasn't always trying to fit in so much with Paul and Matt and Joe, he'd probably be as dear as Addie. If Aunt Etheline saw them and what he turned them into, she'd be heartbroken. I know she would. You would have liked Aunt Etheline, Billy. I know you would have. She was dear and kind and pretty. And she could cook like hardly anyone I've known. She taught me how to cook. I haven't cooked much for you yet but once we're married you'll see. It will be so wonderful. You'll go out and get me some venison and I will make you a stew that will knock you over it's so good. And my biscuits are just as fluffy as Rachel's if I do say so myself. And you've never had my apple cobbler but I can make you some and you'll think you died and went to heaven. It's Aunt Etheline's recipe and there's few things on earth better." Heather laughed quietly to herself. "Why, if you're not careful you'll have a bigger belly than Teaspoon before we've been married a full year."

Later that evening Teaspoon was heading toward the station to have supper with his family. But first he was going to check in on Heather and Cody. Jimmy was sitting in the waiting area when Teaspoon walked in.

"Has there been any change?"

Jimmy shook his head.

"Doc was just in there and said everything is as it was. I told Heather there'd always be someone here."

Teaspoon nodded.

"I'll make sure someone brings you a plate," he said, "Heather too. Poor thing needs to eat. Cody's going to be mighty upset if we let her waste away again."

Then Teaspoon walked over to the door behind which was his wounded child. His heart nearly broke at what he saw. Heather was on the bed, atop the blanket that covered Cody. She was curled around him with her head nestled into his neck and one hand wound into his long blond hair. She was also sound asleep. Teaspoon felt a presence behind him and knew Jimmy was looking over his shoulder at the pair.

"At least she's getting some rest," Jimmy said as Teaspoon crept into the room and pulled a quilt over the both of them. He then took a moment to bend and kiss Heather's temple and whisper softly to her.

"I'll see you in the morning, sweet girl. Have happy dreams, honey."

* * *

><p><strong>Cody's no fun right now...I think he needs to come around or I need to put a lampshade on his head.-J<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

Jimmy heard the doctor rustling around and knew he was waking and would be in to check on Cody any time so he crept into the room himself. It was one thing if Jimmy or Teaspoon or even Rachel found Heather curled around the wounded man but the doctor was another matter. Really Jimmy didn't expect it would upset the doc all that much but Heather might be embarrassed and he didn't want that. He crept into the room and looked down at the pair. With the blankets high around them, they almost looked as though they were just sleeping peacefully. They looked so very young, both of them—barely adults. But then he knew that he might just look the same if someone caught him relaxed in slumber. Heather was certainly relaxed, more so than he had ever seen her. If only they both were just sleeping. But he knew what the blanket hid; he had seen the wounds, the red staining the good shirt Cody had worn to the dance.

Jimmy dared to reach forward and place his hand on Heather's shoulder and give a small shake.

"Time to wake up, Heather," he said softly.

He saw her eyes screw shut more tightly and then slowly open to the still dim light in the little room. She turned her head and looked startled to see him standing over her.

"Doc's going to be in soon and maybe you don't want him to find you here like this," Jimmy explained.

She sat up quickly and tucked the quilt around Cody. She now merely looked as though she had been sitting on the edge of the bed. It was then that she took the moment to really look at the man in the bed. Jimmy could see the tears stand in her eyes as her hand gently stroked Cody's face.

"He'll be fine," Jimmy assured her, "He loves you too much to do anything else but be fine."

"I just want him to wake up," she said, "I just want to see…"

Her voice trailed away. She wanted to see his eyes, his smile. She missed him. In the time they had known each other, they had scarcely been apart, aside from his rides. She didn't want to be apart from him. Heather knew he was alive and he was right in front of her but somehow he was farther from her than he had ever been. He could not hold her or kiss her. The night before she had just needed him close so badly that she had climbed onto the bed with him. At least when she was that close she could hear his heart beating. If not for that, she never would have gotten any sleep at all. It wasn't the most restful sleep but she did feel better for it.

The doctor came in and Jimmy excused himself while his friend was examined.

"You might want to leave too, Miss," the doc said.

"I'm not leaving him," she said, "Besides, I need to know how to take care of him once he wakes up."

The doc didn't want to point out that it wasn't a guarantee the young man would wake up. Perhaps her optimism would rub off on his patient.

"Alright then," he said and began to remove the soiled bandages so that he could inspect the wounds and rebandage them. He looked at the pair of bullet holes in the young man's chest and sighed. "At least there are no signs of infection."

"That's good, right?" Heather asked.

"It is," the doctor agreed, "But an infection would explain why he's not awakened yet. He should be conscious now. He seems to be healing fine and there's no infection. He should be awake by now."

"What does it mean that he isn't?" Heather asked worriedly and the doctor immediately regretting voicing his concerns out loud.

"It means he's resting and getting his strength back," he answered patting her arm. "You just keep by his side and I'm sure he'll open those eyes for you. Any man who knows he has a girl like you waiting on him won't stay away long."

Heather smiled but she wasn't stupid. The doctor was worried and that made her worried too. Maybe she wasn't enough to bring him back or to make him fight to live. Maybe the last person he wanted to see was her and he wanted her to leave so he could come back to his family. Once Billy's wounds were redressed and the doctor had gone, she slumped into the chair at the side of the bed and rested her head in her hands. She was holding him back now. Of course he wouldn't want to come back to her. She had caused so many problems already. First he had to sneak around to see her and then she showed up on his doorstep battered. That had to have been embarrassing to have his family see the girl he said he was in love with show up like that. They all probably knew what had happened too. Now she had gotten him shot. And she was afraid when he touched her. At least when they were sneaking around she was able to bring him pleasure. Since she had left Uncle Martin, she had been too frightened. She knew that things were changing within her and she would, in time want him again but he had been waiting and being so sweet. Perhaps he didn't want to have to wait anymore. Maybe he just thought if he stayed asleep she would give up and leave. Maybe she should.

"Ugly, stupid, worthless," she muttered under her breath. The words she had heard every day of her life in one way or another since her mama had died, "Ugly, stupid, worthless."

She kept repeating them. It had been nice to think for a while that the words didn't really apply to her or that she was something else but it was time to face facts. Ugly and stupid girls didn't not end up with men like William Cody, they just didn't. Heather worked herself into something so close to a trance that she didn't hear the soft knock on the door or the door opening.

Buck peeked his head into the room and was disheartened at what he saw. Heather looked despondent and frightened. And she was muttering something he couldn't make out until he got closer. Her words alarmed him. He knew they were not for Cody but for herself. Buck could see the tears beginning to spill over her lashes and quickly set down the plate of food he had brought from Rachel when he had come to relieve Jimmy. His hands free, he crossed the room to her and pulled another chair alongside hers. She did not even look up and he suspected that she wasn't even aware of his presence. He took her hands in his.

"Heather, who are you talking about?" he asked but was pretty sure he knew.

She did not even raise her eyes but she did pause her mantra.

"If I was pretty, he would wake up," she barely whispered, "If I was smart I could figure how to make him wake up. I failed him. I failed you, all of you. He was right. He was right all along."

"Who was right?" Buck was getting dizzy for only being able to figure out half of what was going on.

"Uncle Martin," she replied with no emotion, "Ugly, stupid, worthless, he called me. Billy told me I wasn't but maybe Billy wasn't telling me the truth. I should go. He'll come back if I'm not here. I was silly to believe fairy stories about princesses. I'm no princess. I'm nothing."

Buck grabbed her by the arm and drug her from the room but did not speak until the door was closed behind them.

"You kicked us out for losing hope and you were right to do it," he said harshly, "I've known that man longer than you have. Maybe you can't tell when you can trust people and maybe I can't always either but I know him. He isn't serious a whole lot. Drives me crazy most of the time because he gets to take things so lightly. He takes you seriously. He takes this seriously. When he took up with you it scared every one of us. He wouldn't tell us anything about you and we feared for him but he would have dropped any one of us where we stood if we tried to keep him from you. He loves you like I have never seen from him." Buck paused and tried to collect himself. He didn't know how aware Cody was in the state he was in but his friend did not need yelling carrying into his sick room. "I just lost a brother. There was nothing anyone could do for Ike. He was my oldest and best friend. He was a friend to me when no one else dared to be. Cody and I haven't always seen eye to eye but he never turned from me because of the color of my skin. He never failed to take up for me against the ignorance of others. I cannot lose another brother. I just can't. Neither can the others. You haven't failed anyone. Cody does things in his own time and we'll all just have to be patient. You are the only thing that can make him want to come back to us and you'd better just stop doubting. Your uncle's dead and he was wrong. You are pretty and you are smart and you are worth everything to that man in there. That means you are worth more than your weight in gold to every member of this family."

"I can't make him better," she protested, "I can't do anything for him."

"You can give him a reason to want to live. I can't do that for him. Jimmy can't either and neither can any of the others. Just you."

* * *

><p>Days passed and eventually Cody was moved to the station and into the spare room that had been Heather's. Heather sat with him all day every day. She dribbled water into his mouth and wiped his face and changed his bandages. She talked to him while she did mending and read books to him. There was still no change in him at all. At night she would change into a nightshift and climb into the bed with him. He was no longer cold and at least being close to his warmth was a comfort. She would curl around him and hold him tight. As she drifted to sleep she would whisper in his ear dreams of the life they might have. She spoke of their children and how he could read to them at bedtime and how happy they would be when they were married. Her tears would fall into his long blond hair as she spoke and she feared that he would never wake and they would never have this life she dreamed of.<p>

Sometimes she woke in the night sure that she had felt his arm tighten around her yet once her eyes opened she would find his arms still limp to his side. She would hug him tighter and whisper into his chest that she loved him. Sometimes she was even able to sleep after waking like that but most of the time she couldn't. She craved his embrace, his smile, she even craved the way he once touched her.

That realization came to her when she was getting ready for bed one night. She had just changed his dressings and had allowed her hands to linger on his chest a while and for the first time she thought of how he once touched her without it being marred by how Uncle Martin had touched her. She stood and changed into her nightgown and then turned the lamp down before crawling into bed next to Billy. As she did every other night, she kissed him. First she kissed him lightly and then more forcefully. She let her tongue roam his mouth and tried not to take note of the lack of response from him. He did not kiss her back but she just kept kissing him. It felt good to kiss him. It felt good to tangle her hands into his long hair.

"Billy," she said softly, "I know before I was scared to let you touch me again. That was because of him, not you. You know that, don't you? I never thought you would hurt me. I need you to kiss me. I need you to touch me."

She rose onto her knees on the bed and lifted her shift over her head. She needed her skin to touch his skin. She needed it like she had never needed anything in her life. Lying back down, Heather pressed her body to his. Her hand trailed down to between his legs. She could feel him respond to her touch though she knew it meant little. It responded the same to when she bathed him. But she stroked him lightly anyway. She needed to feel him harden even if she didn't know what she would do once he was hard. Heather was sure she imagined his breath coming faster but then she wasn't imagining anything when his arm clamped around her, holding her tight to him.

"Heather," he rasped and her head jolted up. Her hand left his manhood and found his face. She kissed him and then jumped out of bed to get him some water. He tolerated the drink for a moment. His throat was dry and burning but once the fire was out, he felt the need to deal with a different fire.

Before settling back onto the mattress Heather turned the lamp up and looked into his clear blue eyes. They were really open and he smiled at her as he looked up and down her naked body. He looked about to ask her something but she quickly covered his mouth with her own leaving him wide-eyed and surprised.

This was not the timid girl he'd been kissing after the dance before…well, he didn't rightly know before what but he was hurt. He knew that much. He remembered her at the dance and how beautiful she had been, how happy. He remembered kissing her and how she had kissed him back. It had been so much like how she kissed him before her uncle had gotten his hands on her. He had felt more hope in that kiss than he had felt in a while. Cody hadn't wanted to admit to anyone but he feared she would never be able to give herself over to him again. He had feared that loving her might not be enough but her kiss after the dance told him that patience would be rewarded and she would be his sweet girl again. He would be able to marry her and make love with her and have the life with her he felt they both deserved.

The woman above him now was one he had always hoped lived inside his dear Heather but wasn't ever sure of. This woman was straddling his hips and dominating his mouth. She was powerful and sure of herself and her wants and needs. He was aroused by her like he had never been before and that was saying something since she had never failed to awaken his desires.

Heather's hips rocked into Billy's sending waves of pleasure through both of them and she felt the pace increase when Billy's hands found her breasts. Soon she felt as if she was melting onto him and then he stiffened beneath her and the sticky warmth spread between their stomachs.

"I'm sorry," she whispered rolling to the side of him and reaching for the cloth that was always at the bedside so that she could clean him up.

"What on earth could you be apologizing for?"

"I didn't…I mean we didn't…well you weren't…"

"I don't remember all that happened after the dance but something tells me I'm lucky to be alive and I get to wake up with the woman I love naked in my arms doing those things to me," he said, "I don't want apologies, Heather. I don't need 'em. I'm about as happy and content as a man can get."

Heather opened her mouth to protest but he shushed her and placed his finger on her lips.

"It's probably best it happened that way," he said, "We should maybe be more careful. You've worked too hard taking care of children. You need a break. We don't need to hurry and make a baby."

"I want to have your babies," she argued.

"I want to be a father someday too," he said, "I really do and there ain't a woman I want that with more than you. But you been taking care of six children for too long already. It might be nice to just be together, just the two of us."

Cody saw her brow furrow and shook his head before she could speak.

"Heather, sweetie, I am awful tired right now. I know I probably been sleeping too much for you right now but I really want to sleep some more. How about you just cuddle up in my arms and let me hold you while we sleep? We can talk more another time."

Any further arguments that Heather might have come up with were stilled at the thought of falling asleep in her dear Billy's arms which she did happily.

Heather woke the next morning and kept her eyes shut for fear that when she opened them she would find that the night before had only been a dream and that her love was still unconscious. But when she did finally open her eyes and look to him she found his pale blue eyes looking back at her and a warm smile spreading across his face.

"You are so beautiful, you know that?" he said, "I could definitely get used to waking up like this. Don't think Rachel's going to allow it once she knows I'm awake but I could get used to it all the same."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah of course that's what wakes him up...typical man...but at least he's awake...I was contemplating smothering him with a pillow and being done with it but I guess he wanted to live after all.-J<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

Rachel made her way to the kitchen to begin on breakfast for her boys and stopped dead in her tracks when the smell of bacon hit her nose. Heather was standing in the kitchen cooking. Rachel wasn't stunned that the girl could cook. She had witnessed that ability and knew that she had been the one cooking for the entire Lepley clan since her aunt had passed. What surprised her was seeing Heather out of her room. She was usually too afraid to leave him for even a moment and Rachel even suspected the girl of putting off trips to the privy so she wouldn't have to leave him.

"Good morning Rachel," Heather nearly sang when she saw the other woman. "I hope you don't mind but Billy's been sleeping so long and he's very hungry."

"He's awake?" Rachel asked with her eyes wide. The doctor on his last visit had cautioned her against too much optimism and to be close for how hard Heather might take the boy's continued comatose state and eventual death.

"He woke in the night," Heather informed her with a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. "Just for a while but he's awake again now and you know he hasn't eaten in days."

Rachel crossed the room and pulled the young woman into an embrace.

"You be sure to eat too," she whispered, "You've barely eaten and that boy is bound to notice that."

Rachel blinked back her tears. They were tears of joy but they needed to wait for the right time to come.

"I'm going to eat with him," Heather answered, "Would you tell the others? I know Billy would love to see them all."

With that she bustled happily back to her room where her love was awake and alive and waiting for his breakfast.

As Heather walked into the room she could see Billy trying to sit up and wincing with the effort. She deftly set down the tray and hurried to him.

"Let me," she said as she reached behind him and pushed him up, bracing his body with hers as she grabbed pillows to prop him up with. "There, now is that better?"

"It will be if you kiss me," he said winking at her and being rewarded with a deep kiss. He then watched Heather retrieve the plate of food.

She sat on the edge of the bed and lifted a forkful of eggs toward his mouth. Cody thought about protesting that he could feed himself but then it felt sort of good to be babied and Heather was smiling so sweetly at him and it did really hurt to move still. He took the offered food gratefully and found that even though these were just simple eggs, they might have been the height of gourmet cuisine for as good as they tasted.

"These don't taste like Rachel's eggs," he noted as he swallowed.

"They're not," Heather replied, "They're mine. Don't you like them?"

Cody noticed the hurt in her eyes.

"I think I like 'em even better," he said honestly, "But they're different. Do you do something different? Put something in 'em maybe?"

"It's a secret ingredient," she said, "Aunt Etheline said a cook never reveals her secrets."

"You can keep your secrets," he managed around a piece of bacon she had just pushed into his mouth, "As long as you don't forget them. Those are some damned fine eggs."

* * *

><p>Rachel could not help humming as she entered the bunkhouse to serve the rest of her family and the others could not but notice her chipper mood. There hadn't been much cause for joviality in recent days.<p>

"What's with the happy tune?" Lou asked with some trepidation. People sometimes reacted to things strangely.

"No real reason," Rachel answered trying to sound nonchalant, "It's a lovely new morning out there full of possibilities, Addie slept through the night without a single nightmare…and Cody woke up."

Commotion erupted then in the bunkhouse as the jubilant occupants nearly fell over each other trying to get out the door so they could go and see their friend and brother. Rachel stood in front of them though.

"Heather was just taking him his breakfast when I left the house," she informed them, "Surely you all can give him enough time to eat it before you all go crowding in there around him."

"How did he look?" Jimmy asked.

"I haven't seen him," Rachel said, "I can wait. He and Heather need some time. I'll see him in a little while when the doctor comes to look in on him."

The riders ate quickly and hurried toward the house. They didn't even knock on the door before walking in. Lou was the first through the door and stopped short causing the others to bump into her back and look up to see what had stopped her. Heather was sitting on the edge of the bed gently placing a bit of bacon into Cody's mouth. Cody lifted his hand and tenderly took her wrist to hold her hand by his lips a moment longer. His tongue flicked out and caught her index finger and drew it into his mouth to suck away the juices from the bacon. He then did the same thing with her thumb before releasing her wrist. Once her hand was free, Heather tenderly lifted a cloth and dabbed the corners of his mouth.

The others didn't know what to do exactly. They were standing all in the doorway and yet to the two people on the bed they might as well have been on the other side of the world. The scene wasn't improper really. Cody and Heather weren't making love or even kissing but it was still something intimate and the other riders felt like intruders all the same. They looked at each other wondering if they should just file out quietly or if they should say something or otherwise alert the couple of their presence.

Finally Lou lightly cleared her throat and the two lovers looked up. Cody smiled to see his friends but Heather's face blanched and she jumped up off the edge of the bed as if she had suddenly noticed it was on fire.

"I should get Addie ready for school and get to the dishes so Rachel can get going," she said, clearly flustered and nearly running for the door.

"Here we were all worried for you," Jimmy started, "Thinking you might die or something and first thing you do when you wake up is try to make some time with your girl."

"That?" Cody said, "That was nothing compared to how she got me to wake up. And you're just jealous because you don't have a girl, Hickok."

Jimmy rolled his eyes, "Whatever the doc says, I say you're back to your old self."

He offered a smile to Cody but then left to let the others fuss over the wounded man. Jimmy only had needed to see for himself that the man was conscious. It wasn't that he was any less happy than the rest of the bunch to see Cody sitting up and eating but with a crowd around him wasn't how he felt comfortable showing his happiness about Cody's improved condition.

Heather was sitting on the couch in the front room tying ribbons around the ends of Addie's braids when Jimmy walked in.

"There you are, Addie," Heather said to the girl, "Just pretty as any princess. Don't you think so, Jimmy?"

Jimmy hadn't thought that Heather had seen him walk in and now she was smiling up at him expectantly.

"Yeah," he said, smiling back at the little girl. "Just like a princess, Addie. You best be hurrying before you're late for school. Won't look good for Rachel if you're late."

Addie ran out the door leaving Jimmy alone in the room with Heather.

"I should get to those dishes," Heather said standing up and heading toward the kitchen but Jimmy caught her and held her in place.

"I told you," he said softly, "I said it was you who could bring him back. Thank you. And don't work yourself too hard. Pulling your weight is one thing. Your uncle treated you like a slave and you ain't no slave. You know that, right?"

"I know," she answered looking at her feet and beginning once again to head into the kitchen.

"One more thing," Jimmy said pulling her back toward him, "There ain't no shame in being in love or anything people do when they are. But you tell that man in there that he shouldn't kiss and tell. He should show you more respect than that. And if he can't mind himself, you come and tell me and I'll set him straight. He loves you. I know that's true. He better show it—the right way."

Heather looked at him startled.

"He didn't let much slip but he said some things about waking up that I don't think he should be saying. You're too nice a girl and you took too good of care of him for that. You just tell me if he ain't treating you right."

Heather nodded and Jimmy watched her head to the kitchen to begin washing the breakfast dishes.

The doctor came later that morning and confirmed that Cody was well on the path to a full recovery. There was still no sign of infection and everyone was encouraged by the fact that he had awakened with his usual healthy appetite. Over supper Rachel and Teaspoon both decided that Cody should move back into the bunkhouse. He would gain his strength back faster if Heather wasn't always there babying him and since he was awake, he and Heather should not be sharing a bed. When Heather brought him his supper and the news, he wasn't happy about it.

"I knew this was coming but I don't have to like it," he said accepting a bite of stew and allowing her to dab at his mouth. "They're probably right about one thing though."

"What's that?" she asked.

"I'll get my strength back faster if I have to be stronger to take you out and spend time with you."

Days passed and turned to weeks and slowly Cody's wounds healed. He first started back to work with smaller chores and then felt well enough to begin teaching Heather how to ride as he had promised her he would. Buck and Jimmy took turns teaching Addie. In time Cody was able to resume his turn on the rotation for riding.

Heather was happy to see him well again but saddened as well at the prospect of him leaving. His very first ride, it turned out, was an overnight trip. He left one morning and was not due back until late morning the next day. She went out to watch him finish readying his horse.

"I wish you didn't have to go away," she said so quiet he almost didn't hear her.

"I'll be back before you know it."

"No you won't," she told him, "I'll know it plenty. You'll stay safe, won't you?"

"I always do," he answered her with a smile; "I ain't like Jimmy. I don't attract trouble or bullets like he does. I just deliver the mail. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You promise?"

"I do," he said, "I do promise. I should be back late morning. I'll tell you what. When I get back tomorrow, I'll hurry and clean up and then maybe we can go for a ride and maybe have us a picnic. We haven't been able to just sit and talk in way too long. How does that sound?"

Heather forced an uncertain smile and nodded her ascent to his idea. They heard the call of 'rider coming' and Cody kissed her quickly before vaulting into the saddle and riding away. Heather just stood there looking after him. That day and night and even the next morning were the longest of Heather's life, she thought. She tried to stay busy with the washing and the bunkhouse hadn't been so clean in longer than the boys could remember. They all watched with worry as Heather pushed the food around her plate and the way her eyes only half lit up when Addie told of how well she had done on that day's arithmetic test.

Heather did everything she could to be outside the next day so she could see Billy the moment his silhouette showed over the horizon. She did some wash and hung it out and then sat on the porch steps to do some mending. Her eyes checked the horizon frequently and were eventually rewarded by the sight of a rider heading toward the station. She knew Kid was readying Katy so that he could take the handoff. She stood and yelled as loud as she could—indeed louder than she had ever yelled before—"rider coming!"

She threw down the shirt she was trying to piece together and ran into the yard where Kid was waiting. She reached him in time to see him jump into the saddle and set the horse in motion. Mere moments later another horse sped into the yard tossing the pouch to Kid and she saw him, her Billy, pulling up on the reins and bringing his horse to a stop. He jumped down and allowed Buck to lead the animal away while he pulled Heather into a tight embrace.

"Ain't nothing ever felt so good as getting you back in my arms, Heather."

She pushed back and looked him up and down. He was filthy and covered in trail dust so much that if she didn't already know all of his clothing, she wouldn't know what colors he was wearing. Looking down, she saw that she also was now covered in dust but she did not care.

"You're alright?" she asked with a trembling voice.

"I got awful lonesome on the trail but nothing worse than homesickness to report. That's all better now though."

They parted so that he could clean up and she could too since she was nearly as dirty as he was. Once cleaned and in fresh clothing, they met back in the barn to saddle a couple of horses for their ride. Cody was trying to hide how tired he was. He was well enough and his wounds had healed but he was, in truth, still trying to get his strength fully back. Riding like he had really wore him out and he was grateful that Heather jumped in to help lift the saddle on the back of his horse and saddled her own as well. They rode to the meadow where they had picnicked before. Cody was glad to finally settle himself onto the blanket that she spread on the ground.

"You're not doing as good as you want me to think, are you?" she asked him pointedly as she handed him a sandwich and poured some cider from a jug.

"I still get tired easy," he admitted, "I'm more worried about you, Heather. You don't look like you got much rest while I was gone."

"I know it's silly because we don't share a bed but I couldn't sleep knowing you weren't in the bunkhouse."

"I don't think that's silly at all," he said taking her hands in his, "I had a hard time sleeping myself. I might still have to sleep in the bunkhouse but at least when I'm home I get to kiss you goodnight."

He leaned in to kiss her but she backed away earning a bewildered look from him.

"You missed me but you don't want me to kiss you?"

"Just kiss?" she asked.

Cody leaned away from her and onto his elbows.

"If all you want is kissing then yes, just a kiss," he said with a sigh, "But I thought you were feeling better about everything else now. You sure seemed to be when you woke me up and we ain't had time to ourselves since then. It's been weeks, Heather. I thought you'd be ready now."

She dissolved into tears and hugged her knees to her chest with one arm while the other was pinned between her legs and lower abdomen. Cody thought on the day since he'd been back. She had been slightly bent over when he rode up and when she helped saddle the horses she had winced at lifting the saddles. Now she was clutching her belly.

"Are you hurt? Or sick? Did someone hurt you? Who was it?"

"No I'm not sick or hurt," she nearly screamed and cried harder. Cody was nearly knocked backward by the force of her words. He recovered quickly and chanced placing his arm around her shoulders.

"Tell me what's wrong, honey," he whispered, "We can't have secrets between us and we don't need 'em besides."

She mumbled something so quiet that he couldn't hear and had to have her repeat it. Heather looked around and even though there was no one to be seen she still leaned close and whispered the words in his ear.

"It's my time of the month."

"What time," he began and then the realization dawned, "I see. That does pose a problem. I guess I can wait a while longer. Can I have that kiss now anyway?"

She nodded but her face was still buried in her knees. Cody reached and turned her face to his and gently pressed his lips to hers. She released her knees and wound her arms around him but then hissed and pulled away returning her arms to around her middle.

"Does it hurt bad?"

"It always does the first couple days," she replied.

"Show me where."

Heather pointed to her stomach below her waist and her lower back. Cody made her lie down on her side and then situated himself lying down behind her on his side. He rested her head on his arm and with his other arm he began rubbing small circles on her belly. She tensed a moment.

"Heather you took care of me," he said gently, "You changed my bandages and kept me clean and gave me water and talked to me for hours. I am alive because of you. Let me take care of you. I ain't going to try anything."

He kept rubbing the circles on her abdomen as he spoke and the warmth of his hand was easing her pains some. Heather began to relax into him and then his hand shifted to her lower back where he rubbed even harder circles. When he moved back to rubbing her belly he scooted closer to her to let his body's heat work at the cramped muscles of her back.

"There's some tea that Rachel and Lou drink I think," he whispered to her, "I'll ask them about it. I'm sure they'd want to help you. For now you just relax."

They stayed like that a while in silence and Heather almost dozed off in the warm sun with her love rubbing her pains away but then Billy spoke again.

"I could hear you sometimes," he said softly, "It was like you were at the other end of a real long tunnel from me and I couldn't get to you but I could hear you. Not everything, mind you but some things. I heard you talk about our life together. It sounded so good and I wanted to wake up so badly just so I could tell you so. You and me together forever, that's all I want. I heard you call yourself names too. I can't even tell you how that hurt to hear the woman I love being talked about like that. I don't ever want to hear you say such things again. They aren't true and you don't need to lie anymore. I heard you talking about some apple cobbler too. I think you might just have to bake me up one of them someday. I'm a pretty good judge of apple cobbler, you know. I wanted to come back to you sooner. I never wanted to be gone at all. I tried. I did. I didn't want to leave you alone like that. I never will again either. Going away for work ain't the same thing. You know I'm coming home and when but what happened before, I won't ever let it happen again. I thought I could throw your uncle off enough that I could get the advantage on him. I guess that wasn't the case though. I know I shot him but I also know it was Jimmy who killed him. Only thing I accomplished was nearly getting myself killed and breaking your heart. I can't ever again be what causes you pain."

He shifted his head and kissed her behind her ear causing her to shiver and snuggle even closer to him. After a while longer of making the slow, deliberate circles on her belly and knowing that in that time she had even slept a short while, Cody spoke again.

"Does that feel a little better now?"

She nodded slowly against him.

"Then maybe I can get a few more kisses before we ride back home."

* * *

><p><strong>This was written mostly for a dear friend who desperately needs the Codester to come and rub her tummy and back for her. And the whole Heather feeding Cody bacon and him obviously getting a little turned on by it was partly the fault of the same friend and partly the fault of a book I just finished reading that is soon to be a movie starring Josh Brolin...the scene in the book was just too darned hot really. And Cody should not have even hinted to the other guys how she woke him up. Really he shouldn't. But I think he redeemed himself and I think they'll be fine...they have another hurdle or two to get through and then all will be well.-J<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

"Heather," Cody said sidling up to her as she leaned against the corral fence watching Jimmy and Buck work with one of the horses. "How about I saddle up our horses and we take us a little ride?"

There was something strange about her smile when she looked at him but Cody couldn't place what it was so he let it go.

"That would be nice Billy," she replied, "I'll get Addie. I'll bet she'd love a ride too."

Cody grabbed her arm as she moved to walk from him.

"I love Addie. I really do," he told her, "But I kind of wanted this to just be the two of us. We haven't been alone since we went on that picnic and it wasn't the best time to get close then."

"That wasn't something I can help, Billy," she snapped at him. He took a step back. He knew she had found some backbone when he had been hurt but she hadn't ever directed anger at him before. She surely was now.

"I'm not blaming you about that," he said softly hoping to keep her voice low as well. He didn't need the whole station and half the town seeing their first fight which he was pretty sure this was. "I was glad to be able to take care of you for a change."

She just glared at him.

"Heather," he pleaded, "I just wanted to spend a little time alone with my girl."

"You just want something to brag to your friends about," she yelled. Jimmy and Buck looked up and were about to go over and see if Cody needed their help when Teaspoon walked over to them. He had been observing the body language of the couple outside the fence and had gone into the corral to get a better vantage point.

"You boys don't want to get in the middle of that," he said quietly, "I don't know what Cody did to make her mad but you going in there and trying to help is about as good an idea as dunking a cat in a horse trough."

So the three men just stood and tried not to be too obvious as they watched the fight unfold.

"Heather," Cody said backing away from her, "I wouldn't do something like that. I wouldn't brag about us being together."

"They all knew, Billy," she fumed at him, "They all saw you sneaking out to be with me and they knew what we were doing. And Jimmy said you told them about when you woke up."

"Jimmy, huh?" Cody said turning to head into the corral where Jimmy stood looking baffled at how this fight was suddenly coming to them. But then Heather grabbed Cody's arm and spun him back to her.

"Don't go in there and get mad for him telling the truth!" she growled at him, "Look me in the eye and tell me it's not the truth. You can't, can you?"

"It wasn't like that Heather," he whined flashing his saddest eyes at her. She was unmoved.

"Lies," she ranted stalking away from him, "Telling me I'm special and you really love me and it was all lies so you could…well, you know…and then tell your friends about it. Don't think you can fool me again, Billy!"

Cody was right on her heels and was shocked really by her anger at him.

"Honey, you are special," he said, "A princess, remember?"

"Ha! So that's what you're using now? You think calling me 'honey' and reminding me of my dead mother will work? That's low, Billy. It really is."

"What do you want from me, Heather?" he asked, "What can I do?"

"You can leave me alone right now," she said lifting her chin and looking down her nose at him.

"But Heather," he began to protest quickly realizing she had turned from him and his arguments would do no good. Cody walked off slowly with his head down. Heather spared a glance at him as he sulked away. A part of her wanted to run to him and kiss him and tell him all was forgiven but then she knew it wasn't forgiven. And it would take more than an apology to make it right. He hadn't even offered an apology. At least that would have been a start.

Instead she leaned against the outer wall of the house and cried.

Cody was twisted every which way. He was guilty of all she accused him but not with her. He had never bragged to the others about Heather. Except for when he woke up and that was wrong. He knew it was wrong but he wasn't the bad guy for the rest of it. If the others knew anything it was their own deduction, they were not stupid and they understood why a man would sneak out in the middle of the night to see a girl. It wasn't his fault they had figured things out. Well, Jimmy knew because he asked for advice, but that wasn't bragging, that was advice. He was trying to figure out how to avoid hurting her. This was all Jimmy's fault. He saw the target of his anger straight ahead.

"Everything okay, Cody?" Jimmy asked and was promptly answered with a fist to his jaw.

"What the hell?" Jimmy hollered jumping up and returning the punch which rocked Cody's head back but didn't knock him down.

"You turned her against me," Cody yelled emphasizing the point with a punch that opened Jimmy's lower lip spraying blood across the dirt of the yard.

"I didn't do any such thing," Jimmy yelled landing a punch that was sure to blacken an eye. "Why would I do that?"

"Maybe you want her for yourself," Cody growled getting in just one more punch before Noah's arms closed around him hauling him backwards. Jimmy stood there thinking about taking advantage of Cody's defenseless state but Kid was leading him away by then.

Heather had heard the ruckus and looked out to see Jimmy and Billy exchanging blows. This was all wrong. He didn't even really love her and she was still making things harder with his friends. Without even thinking she began to run. Heather had no idea where she was going or how she would know it when she got there but she had to get away. She would have too if not for Teaspoon's arms wrapping around her and dragging her back toward the house.

"Come on back, sweetheart," he said gently, "Nothing here worth running away from."

"They're fighting and it's all my fault!"

"No it ain't," he said pulling her into a hug and patting her on the back. "Them two been fighting since the first day they met. It's what brothers do. You're just the excuse today. Now you want to tell me what young Cody did that made you so mad at him?"

She shook her head setting her jaw and Teaspoon was sort of proud of the newfound strength within the girl. Though at this moment, he sort of wished she had less of it. That would make it easier to get through to her.

"I promise you'll feel a whole lot better if you do," he told her.

"He doesn't really love me," she whispered, "It's not even him I'm really mad at. It's me for believing him. I'm just as stupid as Mama."

"You ain't stupid and he loves you more than you know," Teaspoon said simply, "I know you don't know him as well as I do and I don't know what fool thing he said or did that made you think he don't. But he loves you alright."

"I believed that once," she told this man who had been so kind and given her a glimpse of what it might be like to have a father. "I just can't anymore. He used me."

There was an edge to her words that sounded near venomous but Teaspoon knew it was born of a deep hurt, so deep it stung him as well.

"I can't see that boy using a woman at all," Teaspoon said, "His mama raised him after his pa died and for all his talk and bluster he ain't got it in him to mistreat a lady."

"I'm not a lady," Heather protested, "That's why he could do what he did. He made me think I was or that he thought I was. I'm not though."

"Why Heather," Teaspoon said straightening up, "You're about as fine a lady as any I ever met. I mean that and you can't think I want to use you for nothing."

"I'm not," she continued to argue, "I'm dirty."

"I think you got things turned around. Your uncle was a dirty, rotten…well, the rest of what he is ain't fit for mixed company," Teaspoon said softening his voice, "You're a good girl, Heather. If I'm understanding what you and your intended did, well, there ain't nothing shameful in acting on love. Too little love in this world and I think that's about the heart of what's wrong with it all. Anything you did, you did because you love him, right?"

Heather turned her head away as a few tears silently trickled down her face. Teaspoon wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him.

"I do love him Teaspoon," she said leaning against the older man and gripping the front of his shirt. "I do and he doesn't feel the same way. What am I going to do?"

"You want to know what I think you ought to do?" said Teaspoon watching for her to lift her head in question to him. "I think you should get together alone with that young man of yours and talk to him. Just talk. I think maybe you two don't get enough time to talk. That can happen. Cost me more than one of my marriages before I learned my lesson about that."

"I can't face him," she protested, "I just can't."

"If you love him, Heather, I don't see where you got much choice."

"I'm scared," she confessed.

"Seems you got a right to be," Teaspoon mused, "Fear shouldn't keep you from doing what you need to though. And lookie there, Buck has your horse saddled all up, Cody's too. Bet Cody's even cooled down enough to accept an invitation for a ride with a pretty girl."

Heather looked to where Teaspoon pointed and saw Buck leading the horses from the barn. The confused look she had when her head turned back to him made Teaspoon chuckle.

"No, Buck ain't no mind reader," he said gently, "I ain't either but I had a hunch you and your young man might need to get away for a bit. It's too crowded around here to really talk."

She took a deep breath to steel her nerves and headed to the bunkhouse with her head high. The first thing she saw when she walked in was Rachel tending to Jimmy's split lip. She bent and whispered to the woman who had been so very sweet to her.

"Could I talk to Jimmy a moment?" she asked taking the cloth from Rachel's hands to finish the job of cleaning the blood away. Rachel nodded and stood to go and see to Cody's now swelling eye.

"I'm sorry," she said, "This was my fault. I told him not to hit you but I can't imagine he wanted to listen to me much."

"Ain't your fault but if Cody sees you taking too good of care of me then I think he'd probably lose his mind entirely. He's already got some crazy ideas."

Heather nodded and crossed the room to where Billy was complaining about his injuries.

"It seems to me, Billy," Heather said, "That you wouldn't be hurt at all if you had listened to me and not gone after Jimmy. Didn't you want to go for a ride with me, Billy?"

She did not wait for a response but simply turned and walked out of the bunkhouse without so much as a glance backwards at him.

"You better follow her, Cody," Kid said, "Before you make her mad again."

"Believe me," Cody told him, "I'm going. I ain't letting her go riding off on her own."

Cody caught up to Heather and grabbed the reins of his horse before climbing into the saddle. He thought maybe he could say something to Heather as they rode but she had recently gained confidence in her riding and kicked her horse to a full gallop. Cody realized the only thing he could do was chase after her. When he caught up with her he was thinking less about what he wanted to say to her and more about how he had done maybe too good of a job of teaching her to ride. He pulled his horse next to hers and watched her dismount. He just sat there for a while on his horse watching her move around, petting the horse. He marveled at the changes that had occurred in her in the time he'd known her. Thinking back to their first meeting, he wondered that this was even the same girl who had bumped into him in Tompkins' store. That girl was barely skin and bones and hid behind a shapeless and colorless dress. The girl before him had curves and color to her face. She wore a dress of a golden color and looked straight ahead instead of at the ground. That she stood up to him was something that frightened him merely out of a worry he could lose her. Otherwise he was proud of any part he had played in the changes in her. She was more beautiful than he ever could have guessed and her yelling at him only made him want her all the more.

"Are you going to sit on the horse the whole time?" she asked, "Keeping yourself open for a quick getaway?"

Cody shook his head and brought himself out of his fantasies of how attractive he found her when she was seething with anger earlier. It's not that he wanted to often be facing her wrath but he had to admit the rage burning in her eyes aroused him. He climbed down off the horse and stood looking at her helplessly. She just stared at him and he quickly figured the next line was his even though he had no idea what he was supposed to say.

"You're right," he choked out, "I shouldn't've hit Jimmy."

Heather just slit her eyes at him and he squirmed under the look she gave him.

"I shouldn't've said anything about waking up," he offered, "I'm sorry. That was wrong. I never told them nothing else though, I swear. Well, I asked Jimmy for some advice once but that can't be bad, can it?"

"Advice?" she asked glowering at him, "What kind of advice did you need from him?"

"I, uh, I," he stammered and then figured he'd better just come clean. "Before we, you know, well, I was afraid that it would hurt you and I really didn't want to hurt you. I mean I wanted to be with you but I didn't want you hurt. I already knew I loved you and I knew you hadn't ever been with no one before and I thought maybe Jimmy would know more about a situation like that. I knew he wouldn't tell no one and it wasn't bragging, Heather. I was really concerned for you."

"That's sort of sweet, Billy," she said softly, "I guess I don't feel so bad now knowing that at least you loved me then."

"That's a strange thing to say, Heather," he told her furrowing his brow.

"Why is it so strange?" she asked, "I know you don't love me now but at least you did then. I don't feel nearly as stupid about things."

Cody just stared at her a moment as if she had gone completely mad and in that few seconds he was sure she had.

"Heather, I do love you," he declared, "I don't know how on earth you could think I don't love you but I most certainly do love you. You are the first thought I have when I get up in the morning and the last I have before I fall asleep and it'd be improper to talk about the dreams I have about you. But it ain't just that, I love you. I love your laugh and the way you worry for Addie and how you look when you set on the porch doing the mending or something and you get all peaceful and relaxed. And I love the way your shoulders go back and your eyes sparkle when you know you've done something good. Like when you was first learning to ride or when you made that apple cobbler the other night and we was all too busy stuffing it in our faces to even compliment you until it was all gone. Why would you think I don't love you?"

Her face crumbled before him and he couldn't help rushing to her side which was good since the words she spoke next were soft and half lost in her tears and sobs.

"What you said about not wanting to make a baby," she answered, "You didn't want to be in me because it might make a baby."

"Wait," he said trying to catch up with her thoughts, "I thought this was about you being mad at me for wanting to be alone with you. Now you're mad because well, I'm not even sure what you're mad at."

"I'm not really mad, Billy," she replied, "I guess I'm sad. I wanted you to love me. I know you must at least a little. And you keep talking about marrying me so you must even think you do but you don't love me enough. Don't you see? You say all the right things now but when you were still tired and recovering the truth came out. I'm not the prettiest or the smartest girl and I don't come from a good family but I can't live the rest of my life with someone who doesn't really want me. You don't want children with me. I deserve a man who wants the children I could give him. I see that now. I want you but I don't think…I wanted this to work. I wanted you to be the one who…" She furrowed her brow thinking on her next words. "I thought I needed a prince to save me, to save the princess. I don't. I need someone who can share with me. You deserve to be with someone you really want forever, not just for the minutes you can steal to make love. I'm not who you really want and that means you're not who I should be with."

"Honey," Cody said sadly as he led her to a nearby tree so they could sit in the shade while he tried to clear this up. "Is that what's really been bothering you? Is this why you've been avoiding me? You think I don't love you or don't want you having my babies?"

She nodded but was crying too hard to actually speak. Cody pulled her onto his lap and her closeness threatened to be his undoing. Her strength, while still new and not quite a comfortable fit yet, was intoxicating.

"Every time I get to thinking I can't possibly love you more, you go and do or say something that makes me fall deeper. I thought no woman could be as perfect for me as you and then I saw you at the dance—not even when you was dancing with me, mind you—and you just gave off this joy. It was like you was glowing or something. And I thought then that I couldn't possibly love you more. I did what I did when your uncle came because I love you too much to ever see you mistreated again. But then you do this and I think you're trying to break up with me but you are so strong right now. It's like I get to see a whole person and not just the little pieces that your uncle hadn't been able to tear down. And just like that, I am more in love with you than before. I am even more sure now that I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to know how else you'll find to surprise me."

"But you said…"

"That ain't what I meant by that at all," he said and was angry with himself. He thought he had been doing the right thing when he said what he did. He thought he had taken pressure off of her. Never in a million years would it have occurred to him that she would think he didn't love her or desire her. "I have really messed things up, haven't I?"

Heather just kept crying.

"Would you look at me, please?" Cody nearly whispered, "Let me explain what I meant."

Her red and puffy eyes lifted to meet his and he winced at the hurt.

"I wanted to be in you that night," he said, "Make no mistake about that. I ain't sure I was up to it after being unconscious so long but I wanted it all the same. But having you close and having you need me was just as good right then. I always need you, Heather but thinking that maybe you had needs and I could be the one you'd want filling them made me feel proud. What I said after, well I meant it but not like you think. I always seen myself a father someday and I can see wanting that someday to be sooner rather than later now that I got you. The thing is that I know you didn't live a life where anyone ever asked you what you wanted. You never had a say in nothing and you been raising other people's children since you was even too young to have your own. I thought maybe if you could have some time where it was just us that you could do other things besides just work all the time. Taking care of kids is hard work. I just want you to have a choice and some control. You deserve a say in your own life, Heather."

"You still love me?"

"I will always love you, silly girl," he said smiling at her.

"And we can have babies?"

"Once we're married and you're ready but not a moment sooner, I would think."

"But we can't be together until then?"

"You know," he said seriously, "There are other ways of being together that don't make babies."

The color drained from her face and she pushed away from him scooting back away even more until her back collided with the tree trunk.

"No Billy," she squeaked, "Not that. Please not that."

It took a minute for Cody to understand. Her uncle had been avoiding impregnating her as well and said so loudly.

"Calm down, Heather," he said gently, daring to inch closer to her, "Please, and listen to me. I won't hurt you and I will never ask you to do anything you don't want. There's plenty of other things that don't hurt. Remember how you woke me up? That felt pretty damned good to me and you seemed to like it. Maybe you can talk to Rachel too. There's times when it ain't so risky."

"I can't talk to Rachel!" Heather cried out in shock.

"I think you need to and she won't judge you," he said, "She'd be more likely to judge me."

Heather shifted to lean against Billy and relaxed even more when he pulled her legs back across his lap to bring them even closer together.

"Can I kiss you, Billy?" she asked him and he smiled at her.

"That is a question you never even have to ask. You can kiss me any time you like."

The balance was restored to Cody's world when she leaned to him and kissed him deeply. He returned the kiss and felt her shift in his arms to straddle his legs as he sat on the ground. He held her tightly and felt the heat of her body against his. The kiss ended too soon for either of their liking.

"Yeah," he said, "That's what I needed."

Her hand ran down his chest and to the front of his trousers.

"It's not all you need," she said impishly. He looked around and realized the tree they were next to was in the middle of a few others. No one would see anything they did right there. And that was good because Heather was almost all the way to getting his pants undone and he really didn't want to stop her. His own hands ran over the fabric at the front of her dress. He could hear her breath quicken as he rubbed over her breasts. Her mouth locked onto his once again and he moaned into the kiss as her hand wrapped itself around his hardness.

He reached up under her skirts and found the waistband of her pantaloons and tugged them down causing her to rise off of him to help him get them off of her. Once she was free of the garment, she settled back astride him and grabbed his hardened length once more. Her hips rocked back and forth as she rubbed her need against his.

Cody's fingers fumbled a little but eventually he unbuttoned enough of the front of her dress to free her breasts and allow his mouth to close over one of them. Heather's movements became more frantic when he did that and he bit his lip. Her hand rubbed over one side of him and her wet heat over the other. His hips joined in, bucking up and down in his desperate need for her. He first felt her hand tighten around him and then heard her cry out in pleasure as a new wave of wetness covered his manhood. Her face was flushed and her chest heaving before him and that was all he needed to cover her hand and his stomach with his own release.

As much as he wanted to allow her to just collapse atop him, he rolled her to the side of him and pulled out a handkerchief to clean them off. But then he pulled her to rest her head on his chest. They stayed that way a while watching the breeze slowly work through the branches over their heads. The leaves dappled them with the sunlight that was now heading toward the horizon. Eventually they would get up, adjust their clothing and set out for home. But for those peaceful moments, nothing existed but the two of them.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh hurray I got my horny little teens back...poor Heather...she's so young and so dramatic over everything. hehe...Jimmy's mad because I got him punched...I called him a sissy girl and he's pouting now...I might need to do something nice for him.<strong>

**I think this might only have a couple chapters left...which makes me happy because this is all that is standing in the way of me writing a cute little series of stories...**

**And thanks to the most expert of match arrangers, Kristina! She pulled this chapter out of the suck. Because suck it did. I don't think it does anymore and that is all thanks to her. Now I have to get to baking. Wedding is day after tomorrow. Yikes! Too much to do...but it will be worth it.-J**


	19. Chapter 19

Heather sat in the kitchen shelling peas with Rachel and Addie. She had plenty on her mind and she knew she had to talk to someone about it. It wasn't a conversation she was looking forward to but this was as good of a time as any to have it.

"Addie, honey," she said looking over at the girl, "Would you run and tell Teaspoon that supper will be ready at six? Maybe you can bring him back with you."

"Sure Heather!"

Addie bounded out of the room smiling happily. Rachel looked at Heather in wonder.

"Teaspoon knows when supper is," she pointed out, "Why did you need to get rid of Addie?"

"I, uh, I wanted to talk to you," Heather said looking at the bowl in front of her as if she'd never seen peas before.

"Is something wrong between you and Cody?" Rachel asked, "I heard the two of you had a tiff the other day."

"No, nothing's wrong," Heather replied, "We had some things we needed to talk out. I misunderstood a few things."

"Well then what is it that has you so upset?"

"I need to ask you about something and I'm afraid you'll think less of me."

"Oh sweetie!" Rachel exclaimed, "I think you're a lovely young lady. Nothing you ask or tell me is going to change that. Is it because you and Cody are intimate with each other?"

Heather nodded still analyzing the peas in the bowl.

"You love him, right?"

Again, Heather nodded.

"He makes you feel good, right?"

"Rachel!" Heather said shocked at the question.

"It's supposed to feel good," Rachel told her, "If it doesn't, you're doing it wrong. He does make you feel good, doesn't he?"

"Yes," Heather admitted with her cheeks burning crimson.

"Then what's the problem? You can ask anything. I'm no saint, Heather."

"Billy said we should maybe wait to have a baby," Heather said softly, "At least until we're married and maybe even a while after that. He thinks I worked too hard. I didn't want to hear it at first but now that I think about it, maybe he's right and waiting would be good."

"Remind me to give that boy an extra helping of dessert," Rachel said blinking back the tears. She worried for each of the boys and girl in her charge and each for different reasons. She had honestly feared Cody wouldn't settle down. He'd find wonderful girls but never be serious enough to really love one of them. Seeing how he loved and cared for Heather was a beautiful thing. "I think you two are right about that. So what's the problem?"

"The thing is that I, well, we…um…" Heather looked up helplessly at Rachel, begging her to understand what she was saying and was relieved when Rachel began to speak.

"I think I get it," Rachel smiled at her, "It's hard not being together."

Heather nodded.

"Billy said you might know more about how we could still be together without…you know."

Rachel smiled again and began to speak. She was thankful this poor girl had found Cody and not just that she had gotten close with him but that she had found the man they all had hoped was lurking inside the joking boy they usually saw. But she was even more grateful that Heather now had someone to confide in. Rachel was more than happy to be that someone.

* * *

><p>At supper, Heather was happier than Cody thought he had seen her, possibly ever. He made a point to get her alone after the meal to ask her about it.<p>

"Rachel and I had a nice talk," she told him, "I had been so worried what Rachel would think of me but she was wonderful."

"I had a feeling she would be," he said, "You know, I was thinking that we ain't set a date for the wedding yet. And I got to thinking of why that was and I got an idea about that."

He paused a moment as Jimmy and Kid happened to be walking by but then he spoke to his friends.

"Guys, can you stay here a minute?"

They shrugged and stopped walking.

"When I proposed before, I meant it," he said earnestly, "I did. But I was out of my mind with worry for what you was going through and you were scared half to death too. You ain't had a proper proposal. We can't rightly set a date when you ain't been asked proper."

He took her hands in his and lowered himself to one knee and looked up and into those strange and captivating eyes that showed him a future that still tied his brain in knots.

"Heather, I love you," he began, "I say it all the time and hopefully I've even done some toward proving it to you. But I do love you. I know I've said I was in love with other women but once I met you I understood that I was so wrong before. I can't see ever living a day without you. I even have witnesses here. Please Heather, will you marry me?"

"Of course I will," she said beaming at him.

"Yeah, you got witnesses," Jimmy chuckled, "Witnesses who wouldn't let you back out now. It's a good thing I believe you love her as much as you say."

"Don't you worry, Jimmy," Cody said, "I do."

Cody walked Heather the rest of the way to the house and leaned to kiss her. He was surprised when her arms tightened around him and held him closer, longer.

"You figure the date and I'll be there ready to say 'I do'."

"I will," she said, "You don't ride tomorrow, do you?"

"No, I'm here all day, why?"

"Tonight," she whispered, "Meet me in the barn."

She pulled away giggling at the startled look on his face and how wide his eyes were. Then she whirled around and headed into the house. Before she disappeared behind the door she offered him one more smile.

"I love you, Billy."

Cody stood there stunned and excited and needing her back in his arms right then. But he knew he could not have that. He would just have to wait.

Heather could not believe she had been so brazen but then it felt good. She now wished it was later than it was and she would be able to sneak out. Of course she had a feeling that after her talk with Rachel, she wouldn't need to work as hard to sneak. Rachel understood.

"Did you have a nice chat with Cody?" Rachel asked once the door was closed behind her.

"He proposed again," Heather said almost absently, "He said the first time wasn't good enough. I'm supposed to figure the date now."

"When do you want to get married?"

"Tomorrow," Heather said, "I know that won't be but I just want to be married to him already."

"Well, we need to figure out some things first," Rachel said simply, "Like where are you going to live and how long will it take to get that in order? And then we need to think about other things like how long it will take to make a wedding dress and that sort of thing. It seems we'd need at least a month to get everything in order. After that then it's all about if you are comfortable with the date."

"A month?" Heather asked looking distressed, "I have to wait a whole month?"

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Rachel assured her, "And it's not as if you won't see each other. Why, I'll bet you'll find plenty of chances to spend time together."

Heather allowed Rachel to pull her into and hug and forced herself to listen as the woman started to detail what arrangements would have to be made before the wedding.

* * *

><p>Cody stood just inside the barn letting his eyes adjust. The moon outside was bright but not visible in the building. As he stood, he was aware of a lantern being turned up in the loft above him so he went toward that warm glowing light. When he got to the top of the ladder, he saw Heather standing there looking nervous with a blanket wrapped around her. Once she saw that it was really him climbing the ladder she bit her lip nervously and dropped the blanket revealing her naked body to him. It was a sight he hadn't seen in far too long. Of course, if he had seen it only minutes before that would have seemed too long. He neared her and wound his arms around her.<p>

"So, your talk with Rachel," he whispered into her long brown hair, "Is it safe for us right now?"

She shook her head and he pulled back a little looking confused. If they couldn't make love then why was she standing there naked before him?

Her fingers trembled as they worked to undo the buttons of his shirt. Cody raised his hands and helped her.

Heather was more nervous than she had ever been with Billy before. Rachel had a few suggestions and had assured her that Billy would like them but then she'd never done anything like this before. She was grateful when Billy helped her free him of his shirt. As she did nearly every time she saw his body, she nearly gasped at how beautiful it was. Her fingers traced the muscles and then her eyes saddened when she traced over the still ugly looking new scars from the bullet wounds.

Cody was transfixed by her eyes, her face, as she traced the contours of his torso. He nearly intercepted her hand when she glossed her fingers over his scars. They made her sad, he knew but then she bent forward and kissed each new scar. It was so tender and nurturing that he almost felt moved to tears but then her mouth began to work over the rest of his chest and the muscles of his stomach. She would kiss down to his naval and then straighten back up, leaving a trail of kisses as she went and ultimately ending at his neck where she would trail her tongue over him and start again. She did this more than once and Cody started to wonder what she really had planned. She seemed to be conjuring courage for something. He stopped her in her ministrations and tilted her head toward him.

"Whatever you had planned," he said seriously, "You don't have to, you know. You shouldn't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable."

"I want to do this," she replied softly and took his hand in hers placing it on her breast. Then she pulled his head to hers and kissed him deeply. That seemed to give her a boost of courage and her hands went to the waist of his pants and unfastened them. She gave the waist a shove and allowed her fingers to ghost over the rapidly hardening need that sprang from his trousers. He moaned into her mouth and she broke the kiss.

"Lay down," she whispered nodding to a soft pile of straw. He toed off his boots and stepped out of his pants before doing exactly as she had said. Even with as uncertain as she seemed to be, the very fact that she wanted to take charge was making him incredibly excited. He couldn't wait to see what she had planned for him. She walked to him and he delighted in the sway of her breasts, the swish of her hips and he nearly shuddered at the look in her eyes, like a hawk that has just spied its prey.

She knelt between his knees and then stretched her body to cover his, pressing into him. Once again she began her onslaught of kisses at his neck and trailed downward. One of her hands went lower and cradled the soft skin of his sack, caressing him and eliciting another moan from him. When her hand wrapped around his manhood it was all he could do to hold back and keep this all from being over. She was not done and he was far too curious about her plans to let things end too soon. She stroked lightly up and down his length, so lightly that her fingers barely skimmed the highly sensitized flesh. His breath was coming too fast and yet he felt as though he could hardly breathe. Her kisses kept getting lower. She passed his naval and continued and Cody got half an idea of what she planned and the very thought was nearly his undoing.

Heather was in heaven hearing the pleasured noises from Billy and knowing she was responsible for them. His hands stroked through her hair and made her scalp tingle. Once she got below his waist, however, she became once again nervous. She had never done this before and hadn't even known that anyone did until Rachel had told her about it. She worried that she might do it wrong or not be able to do it at all. She would hate to think that Billy would be disappointed.

Cody let his head fall back against the straw as her lips reached his hips. She kissed over his hipbone on one side and then down his thigh. She seemed to hesitate. As much as it killed him to say what he did next, he knew he had to.

"I meant what I said," he nearly panted at her as his body screamed for him to just shut up. "You don't have to do this."

Her eyes locked with his and he saw a determination and fire there that he hadn't ever seen in her before. She had been impassioned when she had yelled at him before but never had he seen her this filled with pure lust. Her head raised slightly and her tongue darted out almost tentatively to taste him.

"Oh God," he half groaned as his fingers tightened in her hair.

Heather seemed encouraged by this and trailed her tongue from the base to the tip of his manhood. Then her lips closed around him, her hand tightening as well. Cody's senses were overwhelmed. One of her hands still gently stroked and caressed his sack, the other was tight around the base of his desire for her and inside her mouth, her tongue was all over him. She sucked and licked and swirled her tongue around him and then descended even farther down his hardened length. His hips bucked involuntarily and she looked surprised for only a moment before she began to bob her head on him. Too soon for his liking he was near to release and too incoherent to even warn her it was coming.

Heather wasn't sure that she was doing this right but something about him in her mouth felt right and even good to her so she just kept going. She could hear the noises from him that came right before his release and knew what was coming. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do but before she had much time at all to think about it, her mouth was filled with the heat of him.

Cody looked down at Heather and could see she was trying to figure what to do next. It would have been a comical expression if not for the thin layer of fear mixed into it. He stroked her face.

"You can spit if you want," he said, "It won't offend me."

She did and then looked uncertainly at him as he drew her closer so that she rested atop him.

"There's not really a way to do that wrong, honey," he said, "But that was really good. When I can feel my legs again, I think I might just return the favor."

After a few minutes, he moved to stand.

"Where are you going?" she asked almost fearfully.

"I'm going to grab that blanket you had. This straw is getting itchy—not that I noticed before—and I want you comfortable for what I'm going to do."

Once he had Heather situated comfortably on the blanket he covered her body with his and kissed her. Her taste was different this time and he knew he was tasting himself. That was sort of arousing if he thought about it. He let his hands roam freely over her body as he kissed her. When his lips left hers, it was to move them to her breasts. She arched against him and he allowed a hand to work its way between her legs, his fingers sliding easily into her. The noise that escaped her then had him growing hard once again. He worked his fingers in and out of her and let his mouth trail lower until he found her deepest need. He replaced his fingers with his tongue and alternated the two in and out of her while circling her hardened desire. He could hear her drawing near her release and moved one hand to his length and stroked himself to completion as he pushed her over the edge.

Heather lay there stunned. She had never known that anything could feel so pleasurable. Her whole body tingled and she could feel the fluttering inside her as the waves of pleasure washed over her. Billy pulled her tighter into his arms and she felt so warm and safe and loved.

Cody felt the weight of Heather's head on his chest and suddenly wondered if he was truly up to the challenge of taking care of her forever. She was stronger than he ever would have guessed at first meeting but then he didn't want her to have to be strong. He wanted to be strong for her. Most days he wouldn't worry at all but right then, with her snug in his arms he wondered if he was man enough for what he had promised her. He knew he would do anything at all to give her the life she deserved.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh my sweet little Codester! Isn't he just a doll? And then so richly rewarded for being so sweet! Go Heather! I just love my horny little teens. They are so dear...and kinda hot too! I think next up we have ourselves a wedding! <strong>

**Speaking of weddings, thanks to everyone who has wished my sweet little girl and her new husband (yes he is her husband now) well! The wedding was beautiful and so full of joy. I didn't openly sob but when the groom got choked up during the vows, so did I. Knowing he loves her that much to have that emotional of a reaction means so very much to me!-J**


	20. Chapter 20

If Heather had worried about the time dragging by before her wedding day, it was a needless worry. There was so much to do and Rachel kept her busy with decisions and projects. She and Billy had little time together, even sneaking away to the barn at night was a rarity as she was so tired most nights from sewing and planning and, in the last few days before the big day, cooking. She missed him but then this would be a dream wedding, something she'd rarely allowed herself to even think of before. She had thought the highpoint of her life was wearing that green dress to the dance and being on Billy's arm when she walked in but walking down the aisle in white lace and seeing him waiting for her at the front of the church, waiting to profess his love for her in front of God and all his friends and family, would truly be the greatest thing she could think of. He was her Billy and he always would be. That silky blond hair would forever be hers to stroke her fingers through and those pale blue eyes would be hers to gaze into for the rest of her days. Mrs. Heather Cody. She felt giddy and lightheaded every time she thought of that.

She had talked to Billy about the other things Rachel brought up, things like where they would live and he told her not to worry. Every day that he wasn't on a ride, he would finish his chores extra early and leave. Often some of the other guys would go with him. She had no idea what he did all day but he told her to trust him and she did. She trusted him with her life, with her heart. She could surely trust him now. For her part, Heather was learning to live without fear, to feel just like everyone else who walked down the street or browsed through Mr. Tompkins' store. It was, she realized, how she should have always felt. It was freeing and empowering to understand that. On her trips in to various shops to run errands for Rachel or for the wedding, she sometimes saw the Lepley boys. They had been taken in by families in the town. The older boys were taken in by the Brown family who had a sizable farm. They seemed happy enough and Heather was sure that Mr. and Mrs. Brown were raising them better than Uncle Martin had even tried to. The rest were all with families that lived in the town proper. They were having a harder time adjusting, she could see, but in time it would be better for them. They would grow into fine young men despite what their father tried to turn them into. She could see the changes already. Some days she would go to the school near dismissal and wait for Addie under the apple tree. The first few times she got glares from the boys but now they nodded and called her by name when they greeted her. One had even come over and thanked her for caring for them. The words weren't his, nor the sentiment, but the seed was planted and maybe someday he would realize she had taken care of them when no one else cared a wit.

Most of her days though were spent not even sparing a thought for the years she spent as a near slave to Uncle Martin and the Lepley children. She helped Addie with her studies and planned her wedding and thought about how wonderful it would be to someday give her sweet Billy a son. She smiled at the look she imagined he might give her if she could do that. But not for a while. He was right, she needed some time. It was nice to think of only cooking for the two of them, of maybe being able to finish her work for the day and still have time to read or do fancy needlework. Sometimes she nearly wept that he would be so thoughtful to her to suggest such a thing even though it meant a sacrifice on his part. She tried to keep it from feeling like too much of a sacrifice. Any time spent with Billy, whether they were kissing or touching each other or even just riding and talking, was perfect time for her. He treated her like she never knew anyone could be treated. He was gentle and kind. He told her she was beautiful but it wasn't just his sweet words. He made her feel beautiful when he looked at her and when he touched her. Sometimes when they were alone together, she would see a look in his eyes as if questioning her, as if he was checking on her feelings. No one had cared about those since her mother had died and the very thought of pledging her life to a man who not only cared about her feelings but deferred to them filled her with such hope and peace.

While Heather was settling into the knowledge of the good things that married life would bring her way, Cody was busy with preparations of his own. She had posed the question of where they would live the day after his official, and he thought, much better proposal. He hadn't thought of it before and cursed himself. But that was him and he knew it. Always heading to do something without thinking it all the way through first. But that was alright he decided. He knew the important things. He knew he loved her like he had never thought he could and he knew he'd never so much as look at another woman as long as he could have Heather in his life. She was all he could ever want and the more he got to know her and the more she came into her own, the more certain he was of his love for her. She was funny, which was not something he would have guessed at first. She teased him and poked her fun but always with her sweet smile and love lighting her eyes. She even dared to poke fun at the other guys. He thought he would fall over the day she made some offhanded remark about Jimmy and he was worried for a moment that Jimmy would get sore with her but he had been the first to laugh and soon the whole bunkhouse joined in the merriment. They had called her family on the merit of his love for her but she had truly become one of them. She was also fiery when she wanted to be. Sometimes her fire came in anger at him. It wasn't often and he vowed to not incur her wrath any more than he had to. Other times her fire was in her passion for him. She delighted in the power she could have over him with a look, a wink, a swish of her hip. For Cody, seeing her delighting so in this newfound power was sheer beauty. She had never known such a thing before and he was glad for any part he had played in this new confidence.

Her question though was valid. They did need to live somewhere and he needed to start thinking about what he would do for a living once the express ended. He had some time to think on it as Russell, Majors and Waddell didn't need to know his marital status anymore than they needed to know Lou was a girl. That had been Teaspoon's call and every one of his brothers as well as Lou and Rachel agreed. He had been somewhat dismayed at the options for living space they had but then Rachel had suggested a way to make one of those options good for the both of them. He had more than a few worries and reservations about the place but the guys all agreed to help him work on it and now that they had been at it for near to a month, he thought it was turning out even better than he could have thought. It wasn't a palace like the prince in her mother's stories had taken the princess to but it would work for now. Someday she would live in a huge house with servants so that she wouldn't have to lift a finger she didn't want to. She would drip with jewels that would seem mere trinkets next to how beautiful he found her and she would wear the finest fashions from back east or maybe even Europe. He had plans. He just had to get working on them.

* * *

><p>A couple of weeks still remained before the wedding when Heather strolled down the boardwalk and into the jail where Teaspoon sat at his desk pretending to sleep. The pretense lasted barely a second before he was on his feet, hat in hand.<p>

"Why Miss Heather," he said his voice dripping with gentlemanly charm. He even bowed to her and she could see the twinkle in his eye when he was rewarded with a giggle from her. She knew he tried extra hard to make her smile and it meant the world to her which is actually why she was there in the first place. "What brings you here to see me?"

"I wanted to ask you something, Teaspoon," she answered, "If you have a minute."

"For you, I could scare up five or ten minutes."

Heather was suddenly shy. She had felt so good about coming to see Teaspoon when she set out but now that he was right in front of her, she wasn't sure at all.

"What's this question you need to ask?"

"I, uh…well, I," she bit her lip and looked around finding a fascinating spot on the wall.

"Heather," Teaspoon said gently, "You know you've become family, right? I don't got no young uns of my own but I somehow ended up with a passel of 'em all the same and I think of you as one of my own. You got something to ask me, ask it."

"The thing is," she began still avoiding his gaze, "The wedding is getting closer…"

"You ain't getting cold feet, are you? You know you ain't going to find a fella who loves you more."

"I know that and I'm not getting cold feet," she said, "I got to thinking about the wedding and I don't have a pa. I guess I never did. The closest I've come is you. I always dreamed what it might be like to have a father who would protect me and give me advice and even act silly sometimes just to cheer me up. Since I've been at the station, it's been like that dream came true or something. The thing is that when a girl is a bride, her pa usually walks her down the aisle and like I said, I don't have one of those."

"Are you asking what I think you are, Heather?" Teaspoon asked already beginning to get choked up at the thought, "Are you asking for me to give you away at your wedding?"

She nodded meekly still not daring to look up. Teaspoon placed a finger under her chin and lifted it so her eyes met his. Heather was taken aback at the emotion she saw in the older man's eyes.

"I can't think of anything that would make me happier. I'd be proud to act as your pa."

Heather did not hold anything back in the hug she gave him and Teaspoon was surprised at her strength as he thought she might actually crack his ribs. Teaspoon chanced to kiss the top of her head, it was nice to finally be able to treat her like he did Lou or perhaps like he would have a daughter if he'd been allowed to raise one, and was rewarded with what he had thought impossible—her arms tightened even more around him. When she finally let go of him, her eyes were shining and he thought her smile might split her face wide open.

"You're just like a pa," she beamed at him, "Is it okay to say I love you?"

"Yeah," he barely choked out as he fought the tears, "It's okay. I'm awful fond of you too."

Heather knew somehow that was the closest a man like Teaspoon would come to uttering the words outright and felt sure that she finally had a real family, one that loved her. When Heather left Teaspoon she walked back to the station with her head high and a smile on her face that no one in town failed to notice. For whatever life she might be setting out on with the wedding, she had already begun a whole new life and it was far better than she'd ever guessed it could be.

* * *

><p>The light had disappeared from the sky and the house was in view once again. As much as Cody didn't want to part from Heather, he knew the walk was over. They reached the base of the porch steps and he turned to face her.<p>

"Do you understand yet?"

"Understand what, Billy?" she asked, her shocking eyes wide and questioning.

"How beautiful you are," he replied, "How precious, how much I love you."

"I think I'm starting to," she said softly, "I never dreamt that anyone would really come to rescue me."

"You rescued me too," he said strongly, "I wasn't seeing the life I should have. I didn't see why it was what I needed. You showed me something. You showed me I was something more than just the guy making jokes."

"You are so much more. You are everything you could ever want to be. I think maybe I am too. Maybe that's what we make each other."

"I ain't everything I want to be," he corrected, "Not yet."

She looked at him quizzically.

"I want to be your husband."

"Tomorrow," she smiled, "Tomorrow."

"I can't believe that the next time I see you, you're going to be in that pretty dress and all made up and ready to be my wife."

His eyes shone with emotion and Heather rose onto her toes and pressed her lips to his. He wrapped his arms around her and held her to him feeling the warmth, the heat, the buzz of electricity in that kiss. Tonight he had to leave her at the porch. Tonight he had to say goodnight and watch her disappear into the house. Tonight he would walk alone back to the bunkhouse and fall asleep to Buck's snoring. But tomorrow, tomorrow she would be his and they would not part when they said goodnight. Tomorrow he could kiss her until their lips were numb. He pulled away from her, breathless with the very thought of what the next day would bring.

"Goodnight beautiful," he said stroking his fingers down her cheek, her jaw.

"Sweet dreams," she replied with a smile.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you're going to be the first one of us married," Kid mused as he watched Cody tie his hair back and then check his string tie in the mirror one last time.<p>

"You might've beaten me to the altar, Kid," Cody said amiably, "Except that you set your sights on the most stubborn woman in the territory."

Cody looked up when he saw Jimmy walk in.

"Ain't you done primping yet, Cody? It's past time for you to be heading to the church."

"You got 'em, Jimmy?"

Jimmy smiled and pulled two plain gold bands from his pocket.

"I got 'em. Now come on and don't be late for your own wedding."

* * *

><p>Heather looked out the window of Rachel's house to see Billy leaving with the others. It tugged at her heart a little that Lou was dressed as a boy for this but they all knew it wasn't the right time for her to make her big reveal to the town. Heather turned from the window to allow Rachel to fuss some more over her hair and make sure she was fully ready for the big event.<p>

Addie was bouncing all over the room in her pink ruffled dress. Rachel and Heather had woven flowers through Addie's hair and she was possibly the prettiest little girl that Heather thought she had ever seen. Rachel saw the look Heather gave when looking at Addie and spoke.

"Oh goodness," she said, "We're forgetting a few things."

"What are we forgetting," Heather asked her beginning to get worried."

"Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue."

"Well, the dress is new," Heather began to run down the list, "The comb in my hair was borrowed from Lou and the background of the cameo Billy gave me is blue."

"You're still missing something old and I don't think walking down the aisle with Teaspoon Hunter counts," Rachel said with a half smile, "Addie, honey, there's a handkerchief in the top drawer of my bureau. Would you bring it to me? I think you'll be able to figure which one I mean."

Addie happily ran from the room.

"We do need that," Rachel told Heather, "But I think we need to talk about something else first."

"What?"

"Addie. A decision was made about Addie's future and we never even asked her only blood relation about it. I know you love that little girl and I know you never took care of her out of duty but because you loved her so much. I have my own opinions about what's best but you're a grown woman about to be married and what I think is best for you or Billy or her, well, that doesn't matter as much now. I love her too, Heather. I want to be able to be her mama but if you can't part from her…"

Tears were standing in Rachel's eyes.

"She needs a mama," Heather said resolutely, "A real mama. The best I can do is be like a big sister. I do love her and I always will. I want her to have a life I didn't. You can give her all that. I'm going to miss her though."

"You come by and see her any time you want," Rachel beamed, "You're still her family. I would never want to take you from her or her from you."

Heather threw her arms around Rachel and they both blinked back tears. Rachel thought how happy she was that her own dreams could come true along with Heather's. She had always longed for a child and that longing was only made greater with the loss of her baby. Sure she might also like to find love again but if all she had the rest of her days was the memory of her Henry, well, that was more than most people got and she could be happy. To be a mother though was her fondest wish. Taking care of her riders had filled a void for a while and teaching had helped too but nothing was like brushing Addie's hair at bedtime or fixing her breakfast in the morning. She even delighted in being the one the girl clung to when nightmares came. It was now as official as it could ever be. She was a mother and little Adelaide was her baby girl.

"Is this the one?"

Both women looked toward the hallway where Addie stood holding a lace handkerchief.

"That's exactly the right one, sweetie," Rachel said to her daughter, "Bring it here, would you?"

Addie crossed the room and handed Rachel the piece of lace trimmed cloth.

"This was my grandmother's," Rachel said handing over the handkerchief, "I think that counts as old enough."

"It's beautiful, Rachel. Thank you!"

Heather felt a tug on her skirt and she looked down at Addie who looked to have something weighing on her mind.

"What's wrong, Addie?"

"Once you and Billy get married today, where do I go? Do I live with you? Where are you going to be?"

Heather crouched down to get on eye level with the child.

"You know I love you, right?" Heather asked swallowing the emotion in her voice. Addie nodded and Heather continued. "I will never stop loving you or wanting the best for you. I don't think it would be best for anyone if you came to live with Billy and me. We need time to get used to being married and you need a real mama. Rachel and I talked about this and we both think it's best if you stay right where you are. You're happy here, aren't you Addie?"

Addie nodded and looked to contemplate Heather's words. Then she turned to Rachel.

"Are you my mama now?"

"That's what I'd like to be," Rachel answered hesitantly her hope and joy of only a few moments before tempered some.

"Can I call you mama?"

"Yes, baby girl, you can call me mama!"

* * *

><p>The street was empty as Rachel, Heather and Addie walked toward the church and by the time they arrived there, the only person still outside the small chapel was Teaspoon. His eyes lit at the sight of the beauty approaching him.<p>

"All them crazy folk inside just staring at Cody," he said as they drew near, "Completely missing out on the three prettiest ladies in town arriving."

Heather and Rachel both blushed while Addie just smiled and threw her arms around the man. They all walked into the small entryway and Rachel crouched down to Addie.

"I'm going to get seated and tell the organist to start playing," she said softly, "When you hear the music, you come down the aisle and stand up front."

"Okay Mama," Addie said happily trying out the new name for the beautiful woman who was so gentle and tender to her.

* * *

><p>Cody had been sitting in the front pew with his brothers while he waited for Heather to arrive and this whole ceremony to begin but he and Jimmy both jumped up when they saw Rachel walk to the front of the church and nod to the organist before taking her seat. Cody looked over at Jimmy who smiled at him raising his eyebrows.<p>

"Last chance to run, Cody," Jimmy whispered.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" Cody replied quietly.

"Nah, I'd just have to tackle you and rough you up until you came to your senses," Jimmy replied, "You might's well stay here and save me the trouble."

Once the music started they both looked down the aisle to see Addie nearly skipping toward them with a huge smile lighting her face. She looked uncertain where to stand when she got to the front of the church but Cody and Jimmy helped her and then moved back to their places to watch the back of the church. They were soon rewarded with the sight of Teaspoon standing there with his chest puffed out and looking proud as a peacock. He held his arm out and there was a near gasp from all assembled at the woman who moved in to take the offered arm. Then the whispers started that this could not be the plain girl that had been living with the Lepley's all these years. She was simply too stunning.

Cody couldn't agree more. She was stunning. She was beautiful and she was walking to him with a smile meant only for him. She nearly glowed with her happiness. To think that this was the same girl who had bumped into him in the store that day was something Cody could hardly fathom. But this was the same girl, or at least this was the girl who was hiding under the faded dress and plain hairstyle. She truly had been a princess in disguise but she would never again have to disguise herself. He vowed that silently right then and there. She would never have to hide her beauty, her spark, her glow. And he would be more than happy to bask in that glow for the rest of his days.

Heather was unsure of herself for a moment when she heard the whispers start but she caught the less subdued words of one of the people assembled and they were marveling at her beauty so she lifted her chin higher and sought out her love at the front of the church. He was there looking so handsome and any nerves she might have had melted away when her eyes locked on his.

The words of the preacher were a jumble in Heather's head but somehow she managed to say 'I do' at the right time. Then they turned to face each other and she looked deep into Billy's eyes. She had never seen them this clear or blue before. The preacher spoke again and Billy was to repeat what was said. His voice cracked on the first try and he cleared his throat and spoke again. His voice probably didn't reach the back of the church but it didn't matter. These were his promises to her, not to anyone else. He made it through the rest of his vows with his voice shaking and moisture shining in his eyes. Heather swallowed hard to dislodge the lump in her throat at Billy's reaction. She knew he loved her. She knew he would always love her but she hadn't seen how much he loved her, how deep, how true, until he spoke those vows to her. She was humbled by it.

Cody knew he might get some ribbing from the guys for getting choked up like he did but then he felt things strong sometimes. He was just overwhelmed by the enormity of what they were doing and by the feeling of how right this was. He finished his vows and looked deep into the eyes that held his future, all of his hopes and dreams. She began to repeat the preacher's words and he was drawn deeper into her eyes, into the understanding of what was beginning in this moment. Her heart, her being, her very soul was being placed in his hands. He felt small at the greatness of her trust in him but at the same time he felt larger than life that a woman such as Heather—she would never again be a girl in his eyes—would put her faith in him. He suddenly knew that he could do right by her and would no matter what it took.

Jimmy handed over the rings and they were exchanged and then Cody was told to kiss his bride. He smiled and lowered his mouth to hers only scarcely hearing the whoops and hollers at the kiss. Perhaps that was his brothers and the town voicing their approval or perhaps it was his own heart's jubilation at being pronounced Heather's husband and her his wife.

* * *

><p><strong>Well we got those crazy kids married off...I thought when I started writing this that it would be the last chapter but those two can really get chatty so there is still one more chapter of this story...just wait until you see what I have planned next. I'm quite excited about it.-J<strong>


	21. Chapter 21

Heather was nearly overwhelmed by the flurry of activity that surrounded her as she and her new husband exited the church. It really did seem the whole town had turned out to wish them well. More than once the constant barrage of hugs and congratulations as well as what seemed like an endless stream of people nearly drove her to run away. But then she would look to her side and there was Billy. She might not be fully accustomed to dealing with this many people all at once or many people at all but as long as she had Billy by her side, she could face anything and she knew she would be safe.

At long last there was only the family to face and she allowed herself to be pulled into hugs by each of them and officially welcomed. Jimmy was the last to embrace her and he squeezed her tighter than the others whispering, "I meant what I said about him minding his manners. If he don't, you tell me and I'll make him."

Heather hugged tighter to Jimmy for a moment. She had been so long in her life without anyone really caring or looking out for her and now she had brothers and a father and even a husband. She would never again be hurt like she had been.

"I love you too," she whispered in reply before releasing him and turning to her Billy. Her breath was taken from her once again at how handsome he looked in his suit. His eyes sparkled blue at her and the smile he gave her made her blush. It was a sweet smile and loving but something behind it spoke of something deeper and something that was only between the two of them.

The others headed toward the party that was being held in their honor but Cody lingered on the steps of the church with Heather.

"Shouldn't we follow?" she asked.

"We will," he assured her, "I just wanted a minute alone with you before we headed over. You're beautiful, you know. I don't just mean today or in that dress but all the time. Though I will say that is one pretty dress."

He offered his arm but she paused before she took it.

"Have I ever told you what a handsome man you are, Billy?" she asked, "Have I said how kind and dear and how much I love you?"

Cody was taken aback. While he'd never lacked for confidence in his appearance, Heather had never really put anything in those terms. He tenderly kissed her and then smiled.

"I guess it's a good thing we got ourselves hitched then. I can't figure anyone else is going to make me this happy."

They strolled arm in arm to the party where they were greeted by Teaspoon.

"I wondered what was taking you two so long," he said with a smile, "Thought maybe you decided to skip the whole party. Wouldn't blame you if you did. You're only young and beautiful for a short time."

Cody offered up his most disarming smile.

"We might only be young a short time, Teaspoon," he replied, "But Heather and me, we'll be beautiful forever."

The rest of the night they danced, they ate, they laughed and Heather didn't want it to end. But in time it did end. The party wore down and she looked to see Billy once again offering his arm to her.

"I don't even know where you're taking me," she said.

"The hotel for tonight," he told her, "We'll go home tomorrow. I'd rather you see it in the light of day. Trust me; it will be better that way."

"I always trust you, Billy."

"And you always can," he smiled at her.

About halfway there Cody stopped and turned to Heather. There wasn't another soul on the street.

"I need to tell you some things, honey," he said, "Don't get that worried look. Ain't none of 'em bad but I got to say them all the same. I know that you know I love you. But I don't think you understand how much or why and I can't even explain it all but you were the thing I was looking for when I didn't even know I was looking for something. I also need to tell you that what I am most looking forward to tonight is how it will feel to not have to run off and sneak back into the bunkhouse. I know I can take all the time I want being with you and I can hold you in my arms while you sleep and in the morning we'll still be together. I can't think of anything better than that, than knowing that I don't have to leave you and that I don't ever have to let go of you."

The pair reached their room and Cody ushered Heather inside. It hit her almost immediately that there was something more profound in this encounter. They were married. She was his wife.

"Billy," she said softly, "I'm frightened."

He took her hands in his and pulled her to sit next to him on the bed.

"Why, sweetheart?" he asked, "What's scaring you?"

Heather felt suddenly shy to explain but his eyes were so soft and caring.

"Well, we haven't…I mean not since the first time and then…well, it hurt then, Billy."

"I thought all those times we were together that you wanted this like I did and we were just being careful," he said, "That wasn't all it though, was it?"

She shook her head feeling terrible for not being more honest with him.

"Honey," he said pulling her tight to him, "It's okay. It really is. I'm surprised you even want anyone touching you at all after what happened to you. I don't think it hurts like that after the first time but I ain't a woman so I don't know. I know I'll do everything I can to make it not hurt. I had my fill of seeing you hurting. I never want to see that again."

Her eyes rose to meet his and the look there told him she wanted to believe him, she wanted to think that there would only be pleasure but that she was still uncertain.

"Look," he said, "We're married now and I know that we'll be together for the rest of our lives. Tonight we take things slow and if you're too scared or something don't feel right then we stop. It's alright, Heather. Right now all I want to do is kiss you though. Think I can do that?"

She nodded and leaned her head to him lost in the feeling of waiting for his lips on hers. It was an electric sort of thing like the way the air was before a lightning storm. When his mouth touched hers, it sent shivers through her. They had been together a few months now and still he had that effect on her. Heather felt herself melt into him, into his embrace, his kiss. Her hands moved on their own and began to work at the buttons on his shirt and by the time the kiss ended she had the garment dispatched with.

Cody smiled at how efficiently she had gotten him out of his shirt and thought it might be time to return the favor. He turned her so that he could reach the buttons down the back of her dress and with each button undone, he placed a small kiss on her neck. He could already see that by the time he got to her corset that she would be near to desperate for him to loosen it. As the buttons on the dress got lower, he trailed his kissed onto her shoulders. Then he pulled her to standing and let the dress fall in a pool around her feet. Cody continued to kiss at every motion he made in ridding her of her underpinnings. In time she stood before him completely nude and he stepped back to admire her.

Heather felt embarrassed a little for Billy to look at her like he was right then. He had seen her naked before but usually it was in a dimly lit barn loft. This was a well lit hotel room with a real bed next to them that made this seem so much more real than anything between them ever had before. She was just about to lift her arms to try to cover at least some of her nakedness but Billy's hands stopped her and he shook his head slightly.

"I think this is the first time I have had a good look at you since you healed," he said with a hint of sadness, "This is what you ought to look like…not like you was before. Let me just look at how beautiful you are."

Heather blushed but then felt slightly emboldened by his words and appreciative looks.

"Maybe if things were more fair then I wouldn't feel so shy."

Cody looked down and realized he was still wearing trousers.

"Oh I see the problem," he smirked, "That makes sense."

He quickly stripped and stood before her naked.

"Is that better now?"

Heather giggled but nodded biting her lip. She reached to him and ran her fingers over the muscles on his chest. She tried not to look sad when her hands ran over the bullet wounds which no longer looked quite as angry.

"They look better," she said trying not to cry, "I'm sorry. It was my fault."

"You know whose fault it was and it wasn't yours," he told her taking her hand and placing it on his hardness, "Now _that _is your fault."

"I guess that means I have to take care of it," she said impishly and while Cody wouldn't have thought it possible before, her words and they way she said them made him even more aroused.

Heather's hand closed around Cody's manhood and she led him back to the bed. They had never actually been together in a bed since he had recovered from his wounds and there was only the one night when he had woken up that they were truly together. The thought of sharing a real bed with him, not a hayloft or the shade of a tree, made Heather's breath come even quicker.

She climbed onto the bed and just looked at him her eyes an equal mixture of fiery passion and uncertainty. Cody reached his hand to caress her cheek. He bent to kiss her and with that kiss he was pulled onto the bed and onto Heather. He could feel Heather's hands rubbing all over his body and allowed his own hands to rove over hers. Her breath caught and her nails dug into his back when one of his hands found its way between her legs.

Her hands were all over him and her hips were moving in a dance that needed no accompaniment. Cody knew what he needed but he held off until she was barely coherent except for these words: "Billy…please."

He hoped that he understood her request as he lined himself up to enter her and slowly began to slide inside of her. He watched her face through half opened eyes as he pushed deeper into her. Her eyes flew open for only a second and then drifted closed as her mouth dropped open slightly and a moan escaped her. Her hips bucked upward rolling into him and pushing him even deeper. He tried to move at a slow pace and make this last but it had been so long and she was so tight around him and it felt so damned good to be inside her. And then she dug her heels into the mattress to join in his thrusts as her hands gripped his back. She was panting and nearly growling and was like some animal possessed by pure instinct for pleasure. He could hold back no longer and moved more rapidly, the need and desire and passion building within him as flood waters behind a dam. There was no holding back and he didn't want to. When he heard her cry out his name and God's, that was all it took for him to let everything go. He collapsed only barely bracing his weight until he could catch his breath enough to roll off of her.

Heather lay there with her very being vibrating as a bell that had just been rung. Never had she thought she could feel like she did right then. She could feel Billy softening within her and then slowly slide out. It was an empty feeling she didn't anticipate. She couldn't speak as he rolled from atop her and pulled her tight to him to rest her head on his chest. His hands stroked through her hair and he pressed a kiss to her head.

"Are you alright, Heather?"

She nodded and kissed his chest. She could feel his release seeping out between her legs and a part of her wished that she would find herself with child but then she knew she wouldn't and that it wasn't right anyway.

"I probably should've asked before," Cody said, "But is this one of those times when you can't get in a family way?"

She nodded and felt his arms tighten around her, his fingers ghosting up and down her back and across her shoulders.

"Maybe we should make the most of that then."

Heather's eyes widened as Billy pulled her onto him and guided himself into her. His hands guided her hips at first but the friction of their bodies felt so good that her own desires quickly took over the pace.

Cody was transfixed and nearly pushed over the edge merely at the sight before him. Heather's face was wanton and filled with desire and need. Her cheeks flushed and her breasts bounced with the rhythm that was all her own. It was wild and frenzied. He could only lay back and let her take him with her on her journey to bliss. When he felt her tighten around him, it drove him nearly mad. And then her sweat slicked body nearly fell onto his in an exhaustion born of ecstasy. He held her tight as her body trembled from the waves of pleasure still washing over her.

"Looks like you're not scared anymore," he observed.

Heather kissed him and delighted in how safe she was. They might face hard times in their life together but they'd never do it alone. Billy was and always would be her safe place, her home. Tears fell onto his chest and he tilted her face toward him.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm just so happy," she whispered into the skin on his chest, "I just love you so much."

"Well, those tears are fine then," he replied kissing her forehead before reaching over and turning down the lamp. "I'd love nothing more than to do that all night but I'm plum wore out. As I recall you know how to wake a man up so maybe come morning we can get a little more loving in."

They both drifted to sleep then and woke in the arms of the one they loved most. They didn't get up when they awoke and spent all the time they could in bed delighting in being able to have this freedom to explore and pleasure the other. Eventually though they knew they had to get up and they did and dressed and ventured to the dining area for some breakfast.

Soon Heather was following along behind Billy to a buckboard and was helped up onto it.

"It's time I took you home, Heather," he explained, "To our home."

Heather leaned to him and rested against his arm as he drove the wagon but she became tense and confused as the road looked familiar.

"Billy?"

"It's alright honey," he assured her, "You'll see."

Heather saw their tree. It would always be their tree. She had thought it a beautiful tree even before the nights she shared with Billy beneath its boughs. But right next to the tree was a small house, more a cottage really. She strained her eyes for the old farmhouse she had once felt imprisoned in.

"The old house is gone, Heather," he told her, "I tore it down. Felt good to do it too. Was able to use some of the wood to build us this place. It ain't much…nothing like you deserve. It sure ain't no palace. You'll have one of those someday. I swear it to you. You will have the house you deserve."

Looking at the small house, Heather felt enough like a princess. It was painted a crisp, clean white and she could see the ruffled curtains sweeping across the windows.

"Can I go inside?"

"It's your home, Heather."

She ran inside and was nearly brought to tears by the cheerful interior. Although it was only two rooms, he had done all he could to make it a real looking home. The front was kitchen, dining room and sitting room all in one but he had painted the kitchen a sunny yellow while the sitting room was more sedate. It would be perfect for sitting in the evenings and doing needlework or mending while they talked of grand plans for their life together. There was a doorway that led to the bedroom and she gasped at the ornate woodwork on the headboard of the bed. Her fingers traced over it as the tears welled in her eyes.

Cody watched her study every detail of the place and tried to read her responses. He had wanted to give her a proper home, a real house. This was a shack in his estimation. But money had been an object and this was the place he could afford. He at first had thought to clean up the old farmhouse and at least give her that place but he couldn't hardly walk inside it. He still tried cleaning it up to prepare it for paint but when he went upstairs and saw the evidence, pooled and dried into the wood, of the night he failed her, the last night she spent there…he started taking an axe to the place. Jimmy had stopped him. He was as angry as Cody had been but it was his idea to salvage the pieces and try to build something new, something good. Cody had chosen to build next to the tree because it had been a happy place for them, a place where their love was born. Right now though he thought maybe it still hadn't been a good enough plan. She was quiet as she went from room to room.

"This was a mistake," he muttered, "I know it was."

She turned to him with eyes shining.

"It's perfect," she smiled at him, "It's absolutely perfect. I've never had a home so nice."

"But you deser-"

"A palace?" she asked, "It is a palace, Billy. Don't you see that? Where you are is my home and our home is a palace to me."

And then she wrapped her arms around him and he understood her words. He would never lack a home as long as there was Heather. No matter where he roamed, returning to her would always be coming home. They were no longer a princess in disguise and her rescuing knight but a king and a queen and no matter how humble or grand, their home would always be a palace to them as long as it was built on their love.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay...now I can tell everyone...I have planned a series of stories that follow JimmyFaith, Cody/Heather, Buck/Jenny (as we knew them in Retoring Faith) and Kid and Lou into the future with their children...I hadn't been able to really work on them while this story was unfinished...but now that it is done...we will catch back up with these crazy kids and their crazy kids at some point in the future! Something to look forward to! As always, I am humbled by the kindness of those who opted to take this journey with me and I bow to the depth of friendship offered me by my dear Myrtle. Without you, this does not happen!-J**


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